AIBU to be disgusted...

[miffybun73]

...at hearing an acquaintance say to her small daughter in response to her moaning that her clothes were wet, "it was because you knocked your drink over you spaz."

She wasn't angry and it was said just as someone else might say "you silly sausage", but still. :(

YANBU
Did anyone say anything?

Did you say anything to her?

YANBU - that word is unacceptable, but unless people start telling this woman when she uses it, she's likely to carry on. I think I would have said "Wow. That's pretty offensive.............did you really just say that?"

:( how awful

Depends on whether she has any idea of the use of the word other than an insult. Might seem obvious to those who are aware, but its surprisingly easy to be unwittingly ignorant.

For example I only recently found out (on here) about the use of the word 'fucktard'. I always assumed it meant 'fucking bastard', and the use of the R word never even occurred to me. I'd hate to think people silently judged me over it when it came from a place of true ignorance rather than malice.

I'd tend to gently say something like, "Did you realise that word refers to.... etc etc." Their reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

She'll likely go into school and learn there that it isn't a nice word to use, and become very confused.

I use the word Spaz to describe myself sometimes, I have regular seizures. I like putting a spin of humour on my situation. No apology.

She didn't realise that I'd heard. She was talking to her friend outside and I was inside by an open door.

If I was sitting with her then I would definitely have said something.

Her friend is really annoying, snobby, vacuous, self centered etc. (I won't hold back) and so probably didn't even notice and/or would use the word herself.

It's something where I would probably icily say "you do not have N-word privileges with regard to that word".

(I do, as it happens, but would not use the word myself anyway.)