To dislike being known as a military wife?

[Kasterborous]

I'm my DH's wife, not a military wife. Yes he is in the forces, but I'm not, I just happened to fall in love with and marry someone who is.

How would you identify yourself then, independently of him? Surely military wife is just part of what you are and not inaccurate.

As long as you don't start singing you will be fine!

wife of ex-soldier, never a military wife

I'm not in your shoes, but I think I might have a sense of what you mean - one of my mates has a wife in the military and he finds it really depressing that everything is geared towards talking about 'military wives ... oh, sorry! Military spouses'. His point being, it does seem to go back to a time when spouses of people in the forces were seen as sort of unofficial, unpaid support personnel. It's not respectful if it's not your choice of what to be called.

hooray

and as for the NAFFOLA choirs - all those dumpy women in bridesmaid dresses

JEEz OP run a mile!

I agree, I've always found it a bit odd tbh, just because my DH works in a bank I'm not generally known as a 'Banker's wife' I'm just me, I have my own career and why should I be defined by his choice of work

I don't know why this doesn't seem to apply in the military, always thought it strange

YANBU, there is a sense of having a second-hand identity, I imagine being a vicar's wife (or husband) is a similar thing.

Do you live on a military base?
Or in military accomodation?
Be harder to shake off the tag then I assume?

I would object if that was all who I am.

I am army wife; mum to a, b, c & d; school governor; self employed and me I guess.

It serves a lot of purposes to be known as an army wife. It's why I have no say in where we are living, why my employment history will be slightly erratic and why I live a double life as a married woman and single mum.

Oh and yes I am an unpaid helpmeet for the army. The army would really struggle without the spouses who support the serving personnel in my opinion.

When we were house patents years ago we had a mum who had married a CO of the local camp. She used to get ladies turning up and asking her what she would be arranging for the ladies coffee mornings, she felt so uffocated she got a job at new look. Most of them were quite pushy, not about their 7 year old boarder or their progress but about what the other wives were doing. (Do you realise "we" are officers and they are marines")

Sorry about all the auto corrects

Yes we are in military accommodation. It is quite a nice house inside. We had our own house for seven years had built a life up then we got posted in January means we are now four hours from family not one. That's a whole other moan. I was gutted that we had to move I had some fantastic friends that I had to leave behind and I've got no friends here yet. I would move back home tomorrow.