I suspect IABU. Birthday disappointment.

[SmiteYouWithThunderbolts]

It's my birthday on Tuesday. Not a big one, but I love birthdays and always make a big effort to do something nice for DH, all the DC, both sets of parents, etc. This year for DH's birthday I arranged a BBQ, got a modest group of friends and family to come over to surprise him, saved up and got him some nice gifts and baked him his favourite cake. We all had a lovely day and he said he was really touched that I'd made such an effort.

I know it's not a tit for tat thing, but AIBU to be totally gutted that he hasn't so much as booked the day off work for my birthday and that the plans we had made for tomorrow instead are now out of the window because he's been offered overtime? My birthday will come and go as any other regular Tuesday, which really stings in the wake of how much I did for his birthday.

We've had a crap few months for various reasons and I've really been looking forward to us finally doing something nice and familyish. The day out tomorrow was only to a local village fete but we were going to meet up with friends, have a picnic and generally make a bit of a fuss of me. I can hopefully still go without him (transport may be an issue as I don't drive, buses are crap here and I'm not sure how to juggle 4 dc and a basket full of picnic stuff!) but it won't be the same.

Please kick some sense into me and tell me to getteth a grippeth.

Yanbu ESP as you already made plans.

YANBU-it's about being taken for granted though isn't it and a Birthday being a great big flag providing an opportunity to show someone you care about them. When it goes by unmarked it's hurtful.
Do YOU want to go to the fete?

I used to get a bit upset when dp didn't recognise special days in the way I did. It helped me to remember that different people express love differently. The fact that dp expresses his love differently doesn't mean he doesn't love me.

The other side is that he makes an effort to dp things because he knows it matters to me, but it took years to get there and it's still a bit last minute.

Pictish, I think that's great. And no need to explain about the list of jobs needing doing in the house. My DH works in the property game and has a team of workmen and I STILL can't get those jobs done ha ha.

Posters are being ridiculous to you OP. I get that you didn't ask your DH to take the day off, so you're not being precious. Given that the day off was already taking place with celebratory plans going ahead, you anticipated that your DH would rate this higher priority than the overtime.

Well of course you did.

But it might possibly be a cultural/personal difference? A member of my extended family built a little plane to fly out of the wardrobe on his wife's birthday with some message and jewellery attached. Another relative didn't realise it was obligatory to buy a gift - which caused offence.

Well it looks like my whinge was all for nothing! He came home last night and said work have cancelled the overtime today anyway! Unfortunately dd has been up with a raging temperature and hacking cough all night so it looks like it may be picnic at home today rather than going out to the fete. I'm a much happier bunny anyway

Thanks again for all the responses, even the ones saying I was BU. I think DH has realised why I was upset so we're going to have a lovely day today and he's promised to cook me a naice dinner on Tuesday night too. Win win!