to throw away their toys while DCs are not home?

[withgreatpower]

DCs (11 and 8) are away for a couple of days, staying with some relatives. I re-organised the "toy room", which is a room with shelves full of their toys/games/etc. Some toys have not been touched for at least 2 years (e.g., plastic fruit in shopping basket, toy coffee machine, toy cash register).

AIBU to give these toys away (either to a 3-year-old we know or to a charity shop) without "asking" my DCs?

If I wait for DCs to be back, I am sure they will not want the toys to leave the house.

But they will feel betrayed if the toys disappear while they are away (although probably they will not realise that for another year).

Actually, I find it hard to give the toys away anyway... It's like admitting that my DCs are not so little anymore.

Box them up in the attic and if they don't play with them or mention them for a year then they are gone?

I was at an NTC sale once and a Dad with 2 kids walked up to a stall and the eldest said to the wonan on the stall "Mum, why are you selling my toys?" in such a tremulous voice, I felt so sorry for him!

I would box them up and not mention them, then wait a few months before giving them away.

I once grew so desperate to reduce the toy hoard that I offered my ds 10p for each toy he was willing to give away. It worked. Except that he tried to argue that a set containing pieces should be paid for at 10p per piece.

You could also suggest selling toys and let them have the money - might work well when there's something they particularly want.

Agree with others that the way to go is box up and hide first. Then get rid of later, once they are forgotten about.

I still haven't forgiven my mum for the time I came home from school to find that she had given away our swing and our slide from the garden.

Yes, that could be a solution, WitchOfEndor. I still remember how sad I was when I was my DCs' age and found out that my old toys had disappeared FOREVER.

The attic is already full of stuff, but I'm sure I can find space for a box.

My mum did that to me at the same age and i have never forgiven her. You should involve them in the keep/toss/donate decision, pointing out that if they want new toys, they need to make space.

OK, I guess MN has saved the toys.

My DD already thinks MN is cool (sometimes I show her some posts, or some posters' funny names, like AmyFarrahFowlerCooper! and we laugh together), but if I tell her that the toys have been saved thanks to you, MNetters, she will be forever grateful!

OK, the old toys can stay in the house, but no new toys are allowed until we shift the old ones.

Don't just dump the toys while they aren't there. That's the sort of thing my parents did (and seemed to enjoy sometimes).

I have battled with hoarding tendencies all my life, which I am sure would have been less of a problem if I had been allowed to decide, in my own time, when I wanted to pass on my belongings.

It isn't Mr. Trebus-style hoarding any more, but I tend to guard things jealously, because I'm always convinced, in some strange way, that a situation will arise where they will be taken away from me. The worst sticking point is "my" car, which was bought on the understanding that DH got to drive it when I wasn't working (I work further away, and drive it most of the time).

DD has been encouraged to keep some comforting childish things around, if she wants to.

I do that each time they are away, but keep things I know they love. I focus on the stuff that seems to live on the floor never played with.

I am that mother that will give her DD Mr Trebus tendencies then.
My girl is a total hoarder, she keeps all sorts of shite ranging from sequins (singular) to stones and all the bits in-between.
We are moving (again) soon and I am taking the opportunity while she is at school to get rid of loads.

My dcs have never notice any toys gone and I find they're happier with less choice and less clutter.

I have large stackable boxes which every toy is kept in except the books, I give them the box they want (there's certain stuff in each) and they pack it back up after playing (in theory). I know which boxes they never play with so it's easy to get rid of.

I'm pretty open about it and will say "I'm clearing out the puzzle box when you're at school today" and they would tell me if they really wanted to keep a certain one.They also know they get given to kids who have no toys so they often give me some they don't want when they're packing up and they know broken toys are binned.

I brought a huge cardboard box into the playroom and asked them to put any toys in it they did not want anymore. It was brimming in ten minutes, even with stuff they only got last Christmas. Mind you they were 8 and 6 at the time. A few months earlier the little one cried about giving stuff away.

I am still upset that my mother gave away a dog on wheels and my dolls house at different times while I was at school. I bring it up from time to time.

I had a dog on wheels which just disappeared!

I will ask my mom later! She said he went in holiday!

Suspicious or what! 😃

I put toys in the loft for at least six months - if they're not mentioned, they go. I mostly get away with it - although DD1 has the memory of an elephant so not always

I struggle so much with this. Someone recommended toy rotation to me and it has helped a bit. When you get a 'new' box of toys from the loft you can see instantly what they are no longer bothered about.