To ask if you would tell the girl (a little long)

[Gonnabmummy]

So I've just started my leave before baba arrives, me and DP work at the same hotel. He's a chef and recently he made friends with a new chef from work who was in my school year. He's been to the gym with him and he's been to ours for tea. He told me he now has a partner and a little girl 7 months who he adores (telling DP it'll be the best thing ever etc etc)

Today DP came home on his split shift looking a little grumpy when I asked what was wrong he told me work had been crazy and the new chef didn't turn up, I asked if he knew why which he then produced texts off the new chef. He was asking for the guys to cover for him as he had went out with one of the waitresses and hadn't got any sleep at all and hadn't been home. (Winking emoticon)

I can't help but feel sorry for this girl, me DP and new chef are all 21 his partner is only 19 I don't know her personally but would you say anything. Half of me thinks I shouldn't half thinks if it was me I would want to know and I would kill DP if he did it. They split up a few week back but he begged to go back but has later told DP it's because he has no where else to go. I feel dreadful if it was me I honestly think I would like to know.

She wouldn't find out any other way and the guys although not happy wont say anything they dont know her either should I keep my big nose out. Aibu to tell her?

Keep out of it, it will backfire on your partner who has to work with the guy. Plus you don't know his partner so he could say you have an agenda and easily talk his way out of it.

If he is being such a twat he will get caught out pretty soon.

I wouldn't advise getting involved.

BUT sometimes the best advice isn't always right.

It's a difficult call.

I think perhaps your DP needs to tell his mate in no uncertain terms that he let the side down by not going to work and leaving your DP in the shit.

If you've met this guy's partner, and you're friendly, then YOUR DP needs to remind this wanker man that he cannot guarantee that his deeds won't get back to his partner and then your DP needs to tell him he's been a shit, has a new baby and needs to grow the fuck up or get a new job.

At present, it's your DP with the power to say something that may save this stupid man.

It's not your place (yet) and it doesn't have to be you. Hard though. Have to say I've been in situations where I've said something AND where I've said nothing and both were equally shit all round, and you will get no thanks.

Talk to your DP.

I wouldn't say anything.
Chances are she will have an idea of what is going on anyway.
Good luck with the baby!

Thanks guys DP thinks its disgusting as he's been talking to new chef about our baby and their obviously crappy working hours it's been getting DP down. He's looking for other work but problem is all chef jobs are similar hours and the cut to do a minimum wage type job would cripple us while I'm off.
He cannot believe new chef would do this when he has lovely DP and new baby. I still meet the work guys for drinks albeit non alcoholic and don't feel like I could say a nice word to him now. Pregnancy can make you very forward super bitchy when not happy
Your right about him probably talking way out of it, I get the impression from what he says about her that she young and naive, wouldn't see it coming type. Never thought about DP having to face up to the backfire good point.
So frustrating! What a wally!