AIBU to write on DDs school report that I am offended by some of the comments?

[2ofstedsin24weeksistakingthep]

DD has had 10 days off school this year due to gastric flu and severe tonsillitis requiring hospital treatment. On both occasions I was told by doctors to keep DD off school and explained this via phone and letter to school.

DD has mild SEN and is a year behind her peers but has made twice the progress this year than in previous years. I am delighted and her teacher told me she had exceeded her targets. However, on her report it states she has low attendance and the gaps in her learning are because of this. I am quite offended by this as
A) she has SEN
B) she was really ill
C) I work full time in education and cant take time off so don't take the decosion to keep her off lightly as its a PITA to get chilcare.

Should I comment about this on the parents comments section before returning the report?
I feel like they are accusing me of holding DD back and causing her learning difficulties.

I agree that the gap mentioned probably referred to what she has missed and would have learned had she been at school, rather than the gap between her and her peers.

They are being factual, but I can understand that doesn't stop it being hurtful to read. I wouldn't say anything to the school.

I too would ask for clarification on the gaps in her learning.

If they do mean the gap between her and her peers, I would express surprise and confusion that they are being attributed to her absence through illness.

I think the teacher has probably been told to highlight any absences as part of the drive to push up attendance figures. He or she may be just as uncomfortable with it as you are.

I'm sure Ofsted will be impressed by it

Don't take it personally. DD2 spent a lot of the Autumn term in hospital. The head still had to send us a letter about her level of attendance. She worded it in as conciliatory manner as was possible and apologised in person for sending it the next time I saw her.

You could ask what can be done to ensure that, if your DD has any further stays in hospital, the gaps in her learning are closed in order to prevent her from being left at a permanent disadvantage

Thank you for your honest and kind replies. I do think I am being emotional in part due to still coming to terms with DDs SEN, a past teacher's lack of understanding of DDs SEN (I was once told she was the problem child in the class, was lazy and caused nothing but hassle) and the lack of support available in the LEA because she "isn't far enough behind yet but in a few years when she is we will provide support". (That's a whole other thread though). I feel I do need to comment on this, but will do so as a 'how can I improve her attendance when she is ill and policy (and doctors) state she can't attend?' especially as the comment was made in the targets box. I will of course make lots of positive comments about the support DD has received and the progress she has made.

I wonder if you aren't perhaps letting your past experiences cloud your judgement here. I didn't read this as a criticism, more a statement acknowledging that she had been off school and therefore that would, in their opinion, account for some gaps in her knowledge (not the gap between her and her peers).
If anything, you could argue that it is offered as mitigation, as in, yes, there are gaps, but in her defence she's been ill.

I agree with eyesunderarock in that she probably didn't mean to upset you,but also had no idea how it would make you feel and that you and your DD need her progress to be praised for the huge effort it really is.

My DS has dyslexia so nothing major, but I can totally see myself reacting the same way as you (luckily his teachers have been wonderful so far and always very positive and we've never had this kind of comment). It becomes a very different experience from what many other parets have. You are very attuned to your child's progress because of the obvious differences between them and the average or better attainers. You also know all about the hours and hours of support and encouragement you have put in, and the massive efforts your DC has made, in minute detail and it's easy to feel it isn't being recognised.

On top of that, I think schools - even our school which is generally great - are really ridiculous about attendance. It's not such a big deal and kids can cover what they've missed and catch up enough with a bit of help, unless they're off for half the year. Our school seems to shut up shop at the first sign of snow or wind and DS's class apparently spent the last 2 weeks of term making smoothies, watching videos and of course going to church ( not even a church school ) (this is Y3). Yet they really clutch their pearls if a child misses school. FFS.

Sorry I digress but I'm with you OP. However if you say anything do tread carefully or you will probably risk being labelled as looney touchy mum.

Maybe you don't need to say anything, maybe you just need to be understood and have your and DD's hard work recognised. We can do that for you on this thread!

I think it needs challenging, especially if the LEA is trying not withhold funding, you need emerging on record so they can't later say that her rate if progress is due to absence.

State that she completed the work set so as not to fall behind, she was genuinely ill and question if her 'gaps in learning' may in fact be due to her learning disability.

Ah. Littleducks is right. If the LA is being less than helpful you do not want them pointing to absences and saying 'if she'd been here she would have caught up.' definitely respond in writing then. Sad but true, these things are often brought up down the line.

I don't think that is criticism at all. She has had time off Albeit for good reason and it has had an impact on her learning
I think you are being over sensitive tbh

Agree littleducks, its a cynical view but true.

I think it needs to be read in context of the whole report. You said the comment was made in the targets section, so all students in the class will have something in that box that they need to work on. To mean it looks like the teacher is highlighting that there are gap in her learning, but is also including an explanation for why that work needs to be done.

Why don't you just go and talk to her and ask her to clarify?

A week off in one time can be a whole topic missed in a subject like Maths. Under the National Numeracy Strategy they discovered that a whole raft of children never got multiplying by 10, 1000, 1000 because their parents always took them on holiday for the first week of the school year, the time when under that curriculum this topic was taught every year! So yes I can see why the school would say that there are gaps. Did you ensure that you did extra work at home to catch up on the subjects that needed catching up on?

It's a statement, not a judgement.

I wouldn't give it another thought.

If a child misses school for whatever reason then they miss out on stuff. If she'd had cancer and needed several months off school she would have fallen behind and the school would have commented on this.
I'd see it as positive in some ways in that they think she may have achieved more if her attendance had been better.
I don't regard 2 weeks off as "low attendance" though and would be querying that, many young kids have 1-2 weeks off with assorted bugs.
I think you're takin it too personally though.

I once made a comment in the comments section of a report.

My child was hauled into the HOY's office and lectured about it.

Now I just leave it blank.

IMO schools do not want feedback or comments from parents. That section on the report is just to "go through the motions" IYSWIM.

I endured this for years and years: every school report about dd had something negative about how she had to improve her attendance (how? by cutting her lower back off?) and never a word about the fact that it was pretty damn good for somebody who had to spend so much time ill in bed to still manage to be at the top of her class, particularly as the school never did anything about sorting out learning support for her.

There are ways in which teachers and HT could so easily phrase this as to make it clear that they understand the effort that has gone in.

As a university teacher I never find it difficult to write feedback which acknowledge's the student as well as the difficulties and I have far more students to remember than any junior school teacher. I can't see why it's so difficult for them to realise that if corydd has spent 4 weeks off school and corydd is still more or less keeping up with her class, then somebody must have put in some work somewhere and that work should be acknowledged.

Funnily enough, it doesn't seem at all difficult for her secondary school teachers to work this one out, and they again have far more pupils to keep track of.

Good heavens! how did that apostrophe keep in? Shows you shouldn't be writing two things simultaneously and keeping up a conversation at the same time.

"creep in", even. I think I need my breakfast here.

It is insensitive but factual and think it is a bit OTT to be get offended.

It's possibly just them covering their backs. If Ofsted/SIP point out that a child's levels are down in the future, then it's there in writing as a possible reason.
I don't really see how you can challenge a statement of fact. She's been off ill, they've mentioned it. It's not a criticism.