I know I am being ridiculous

[smallfaces]

I know I am totally being unreasonable in this but I have to vent/rant.

ExDp and I split up in early February due to his issues with drink, he was messaging another girl (important) and his laziness. He also had the knack of getting into my head and I'm pretty sure it would be classes as EA but I don't want to dwell on that. He wanted to be single and he was 'scared of being with me forever' which explains a lot.

Despite all this the break up was quite amicable and I moved out with ds. Took a small step back and asked him to give us another chance, he was quite nasty with his reply, obviously it was a no, he didn't love me.

Anyway, fast forward to last month, I've got back to pre ds size, started taking care of myself properly and I started going on dates with a guy I used to know who got back in touch out of the blue, we get on really well and he's the complete opposite of exDp. I realise now that it would have been stupid to just excuse exDps behaviour and get back together just for the sake of it. Realised I'm better off away from that destructive relationship.

ExDp however decides he wants me back, pleading with me and every pick up/drop off with ds and texting saying he's changed, he really loves me, he realises what he's lost etc. I tell him no, I'm not going to risk being hurt again and I don't think he has changed (still goes out drinking 3 nights a week).

Last night at drop off he asked me to sleep with him. I obviously told him no. Then I find out trough a friend that he's been sleeping with the girl he was caught texting. He admitted it when confronted. I know I have no right to be pissed off about this but it's really hurt, mainly because now I'm thinking that he was seeing her behind my back and because he swore nothing would happen with her. If it had been anyone else I wouldn't mind, I didn't mind about the 1 night stand I heard about (we live in a small town). Please don't flame me, just needed a rant.

Do you think you should be trying to build a new relationship while you still have such strong feelings about your ex? Sounds like you are still getting over it and maybe should wait to start something new.

BTW YANBU to have feelings. What you do about it is another thing. Bear in mind your DS is part of all this too.

Sounds like you are well rid of him!
As soon as he realised you aren't going to hang about pining away for him all miserable and alone, and actually, you can make a nice new life for you and DS, he decided he doesn't like it. Well bollocks to him, and good on you - you get on with your life and have a good one

I wouldn't say I do have strong feelings for him. I wasn't bothered about the other girl he'd slept with, just this one that he was messaging. I know I could never go back there, it was hellish and I wasn't myself, I let him walk all over me.

YANBU of course you feel hurt. Totally normal reaction. Grieve and maybe you could try talking to someone in RL about it too. I really feel for you. Betrayal always hurts x

I think you're a strong, sensible Lady.

Please don't go backwards and give in and go back to him.

Keep moving forward and put you first.

I would take it as proof positive you have done absolutely the right thing. Imagine what a twat you would have felt had you slept with him and then found out?

a blessing in disguise.

I think it's understandable you are hurt. He did the 'I have changed, realised what I have lost' and actually is lying his arse off. And he'd the father of your child. That stings.

But you are moving on. Keep going forward. He's not good for you. Step at a time keep on walking. You are doing brilliant and this incident confirms what a pillock he is.

Thank you for your replies. I know for sure that I've done the right thing

Please don't tell him you don't want him because you couldn't trust him. Tell him you just don't like him any more and you can't think what you saw in him.

I told him that I just didnt want to be with him anymore and I was happier without him.