We have been uninvited from a family holiday.

[ShadeofViolet]

I posted a thread last week about not going to BIL's wedding because of DS's SN.

Well WW3 has kicked off between MIL, BIL and DH. We have had emails calling us selfish, arrogant and calling me a killjoy.

So we were supposed to be going away for bank holiday weekend as a family group but staying in different accommodation. Apparently we are not welcome to come (MIL told DH last night). She said that if I wanted to wrap DS up in cotton wool then we shouldn't ever bother to leave the house anyway.

I still want to go - we have paid £549 which we wont see back. I know our lodge wont be anywhere near her caravan as I have looked on the parks website. We paid more for a bigger lodge and by the looks of the park map they are far apart.

DH doesnt want to go. I dont like being told what to do but can see that if we do go it may end up in an argument which I dont want the children to see.

The other option is to rearrange our weekend for a £100 fee.

WWYD?

Is there a pool?

Go on the planned date and drown the fucker.

Yeah sorry agree with Harder, particularly if your ds's SN cause him to get particularly upset and confused with things. He just won't understand surely?

Re-arrange it, go in October. You won't enjoy it if you go at the same time as these people.

I'd go, and be distantly polite if you see them.

And if MIL kicked off in the face of that, I'd whisper in her ear - 'One more word, and I'll be getting the police here for harassment, and I'll also be reporting your 1:15 babysitter:child creche two days before the wedding and informing the babysitter that I've done so, whereupon she will almost certainly pull out. Now trot off and enjoy the rest of the weekend, and stay out of our way.'

I would rearrange. I think with the best f*ck em attitude in the world, if you're anything like me you would spend the whole weekend dreading bumping into her and feeling anxious and tense, which doesn't make for a good holiday. Much better to rearrange for another weekend when you and your family can actually enjoy it. They sound like nightmare ILs, I feel for you

Go. Do your own thing and keep away from the IL's.

You've paid, they can't keep you away, plus you should get a holiday.

Just stay away, and if you do see them, be polite and walk away if they try to start anything

Is it a company with more than one site? Could you go same weekend but different place?

I can understand that you are worried about an argument or bad feeling.

But that is a lot of money to lose and more again to reschedule, especially as it's for an inconvenient time with the likelihood of bad weather.

I would tell them that you still intend to go and leave the ball in their court as to whether they go/reschedule themselves.

Then I would avoid them if possible, stay polite if they approached me and tell them firmly that I wasn't prepared to argue in front of the children if they started anything.

In my honest opinion they are terribly selfish people. They don't want children at the wedding but still expect you to bring them to the hotel to be looked after by an inadequate number of babysitters before trotting them out to the disco when it suits them.

They won't accept any compromise, from you and your DS staying at home while your DH and other children go or you keeping him quietly occupied during the ceremony and meal, because apparently you must be there and you must be there alone.

But then they ban you from a holiday you have paid for because they aren't getting their own way. If they can ban you from the holiday why do they want you at the wedding? And they think caring for him properly to suit his needs is pandering or wrapping him in cotton wool.

And I'd bet that if you took him to the wedding and left him in the creche, and the single babysitter looking after 15 children found she could not cope and came to you for help, they would be angry and upset that their wedding was 'ruined' because you had to go and help him.

They are not worth the trouble or the worry OP.

Go and enjoy your holiday and don't engage in any confrontation.

Just go-don't mention it to them and avoid avoid avoid.If there is an accidental confrontation just turn and walk away.Try to arrange activities for every day.You can't have your holiday ruined like this.

I wouldn't let them tell me I wasn't allowed to go on a holiday I had booked and paid for, with separate accommodation. I'd still go, and just avoid them if possible.

I would be angry at her thinking she can tell me where I can and can't go, it has nothing to do with her, she can not go if she doesn't want to. The only reason I'd not go and would change the weekend was if I thought my husband would be stressed and miserable all weekend, then I'd change weekends. You could phone the park and try and find out which lodge you have been located and ask to be remote from inlaws, although if just one pool/ entertainment area you will bump into them unless you completely avoid that bit.
I'm surprised you are still going to the wedding if his family are being this unreasonable.

I wouldn't go at the same time as them...even if you don't argue in front of the children, what happens if you bump into them and the children quite naturally want to spend time with them? At the very least they're going to want to go and speak to them.

You can't just ignore them without it raising problems for the children I don't think.

You absolutely have the moral highground and it's rubbish that it'll mean losing out if you rearrange, but I wouldn't want to involve the children in it at all and I don't see how you can avoid that if you go.

I would go, but I'd let the family members who don't want you there know that they're welcome to pay to rearrange their holiday if they like (and hope that they did).

I am amazed adults behave in this way.