Did I do the right thing here?

[Flumpyflumps]

It's school sports day Friday.
I took DD to get some new trainers, during the measuring she refused to sit still, mucked about, wouldn't stand still while the lady was trying to feel if they fitted ok.
Then when she asked DD to walk up and down DD ran up and down the shop, behind chairs, up stairs, making silly high pitched squealing noises.
I was mortified, grabbed her, removed the trainers and took her straight home, apologising to staff.
She now has too small trainers and despite repeated apologies from her I have said she cannot have new ones for sports day.

DD is 5 and has been read the riot act this afternoon, and a favourite toy has also been confiscated.

Did I deal with this OK? I am really doubting myself as she may not be able to actually participate now.

Don't know what I'm doing here and wanted advice.

Get a pair of cheap, non-flashy trainers (she can run about in them during the holidays). No point shelling out a fortune as her feet might have grown by the start of term.

The licking made me lol my 3 year old dd does that it is awful! Ds never did it but I think she knows how horrible it is so gets a reaction!

I am torn because you did say she would have to wear her old ones but I agree just plain plimsolls or something, you can get them for about £4 are you still going to get new trainers eventually? If so I would take her back next week under express orders to behave and if she does she will get the trainers

I would get her a cheap pair of plimsoles from the supermarket so she has correct size for sports day - depending on store buy two sizes and ultimately take back the ones that don't fit (m&s came up big when I had to buy emergency pair but were only £2.50)
That way she has right size to take part in but you haven't forked out for trainers and you can buy a pair later for start of new school term.
BTW my I Ds 5 sports day they only did two races plus lots of the children took part in their normal school shoes as they took too long to get changed!

Fwiw I think it is possible to go back after the event and say mummy has decided as you had your toy taken away you have been punished but you never ever behave like that in a shop again but still allow her to take part with crappy trainers at that age she should be able to understand that

She needs the correct equipment to take part in sports day, school will take a very dim view of her not being able to join in because of this.

Just get her some plimsolls Tesco she doesn't need expensive trainers for school.

it was a mistake to say that, and i think it is actually ok to admit you got it wrong because you where very angry at the time, but adults do make mistakes sometimes. it'll be a good lessons for her as well. adults are human to.

i would say you still cant have them ones, but you can have these ones, (a cheaper pair or even plimsoles, or even a frined or family meber you can borrow some trainers from)

Perhaps a way around it is for you to choose the most dull basic trainers in her size that you can find. You can then tell her that you will provide the correct size shoes, but her tantrum in the shop meant that she lost the right to choose them. The punishment then becomes lack of choice rather than lack of shoes.

inertia suggest a good idea. she needs trainer any way, there not a treat. the treat is getting a choice in them

It's ok to say that you over-reacted. I wouldn't get a pair of cheap trainers/ plimsoles if you would normally buy ones that had been fitted on her feet properly. You'll only end up paying out twice. I'd take her back to the shop and tell her to apologise to the assistant and then buy the trainers that you would have bought in the first place. (If she was 12 I'd make her do sports day in her old ones, but she is only 5)

Could you give her the chance to earn them back? Give her two options: either you will choose a plain pair of pumps with no input from her or if she does x, y and z then you will get her the trainers she would have originally got if she'd behaved in the first instance. Things like helping to clear the table after a meal, making her bed or helping to set the table. If time is tight could you buy both options without her knowing and then return the unworn pair depending on how successful she is?

BTW I think you did the right thing in the first instance but she does need properly fitting trainers for sports day.

To be fair, I don't think the OP did over-react and I don't think there's any need to apologise to her DD. Op didn't beat her DD or scream abuse at her- she removed her from the situation, which given that DD had shown no sign of calming down sounds to me like exactly the right thing to do.

There's still the problem of a lack of suitable shoes, and this was the only chance for OP and DD to go together and get them. DD will be absolutely fine doing sports day in a pair of generic size 11 plimsolls , which she can then keep for indoor PE next term at school.

Thanks all, I will get cheapy pair for Friday and leave it at that.
I find it very difficult to deal with things 'in the moment' which is exactly what you need to do with children, but guess practice makes perfect!