To book the hall without knowing if anyone will come

[RoxyFox211]

Sorry if I posted this before - phone crashed half way through posting! Basically it's dd's 3rd birthday soon & she's been asking about having a party, we've had them before at our flat, just a small gathering in the living room (flat quite small) but that's not really big enough / suitable for a third birthday. I've found a hall to hire for a reasonable rate but have hardly got any mates or relatives with kids. Im planning on sending out invites to her nursery class (about 10/15 kids) but I'm not sure who will come as I don't know the parents & it's bang in the middle of summer hols. I'll put an RSVP to have an idea before the date but I really need to confirm the booking on the hall now. Is it unreasonable to book the hall with out knowing who (if anyone) will come? There will be a few adult relatives there for definite so dd probably won't notice or care if there's only a few kids there but I'm worried it will be embarrassing or a disaster for parents and kids who show up expecting a full blown party with lots of kids. Wwyd?! All replies appreciated!

You need to be quite pro-active here. If at all possible, try and provisionally book the hall, get them to pencil it in and you'll confirm by, say, Monday. I'm sure they'll agree to this if the party's not for a while. Give the invites out today if you can, saying please RSVP as soon as possible as you need numbers. Give your mobile number as the only method of contact, then when people reply you can save their phone numbers. Give the hall as the destination, if you get a good response then book the hall. If you have only a couple of confirmations, you can contact the guests to say the destination is now your place. I've been in situations like this, it gets a bit stressful during the planning and you wonder why you let yourself in for it, but in my experience it always turns out well in the end and you're glad you made the effort! Good luck!

Sounds lovely in theory but it's a big spend and right in the summer hols is very tricky. Parents can be notoriously slow to respond to invitations at the best of times. If you start big at age 3 with parties it will grow alarmingly when she's at school with 30 classmates. Oh, and be prepared for people to turn up either expecting to stay or using you as a babysitter for the guest child and additional siblings. Always take a name and contact telephone number for every child left with you.

I would be inclined to scale it down to a picnic weather permitting and back at your flat if it's rained off. Otoh if the hall isn't astronomical they will enjoy safe space to run around. There won't have to be lashings of entertainment, many are satisfied with balloons and singsongs and party bags. I used to say to parents I saw face to face, "It's very low-key, just a few of us, hope X can come, you're welcome to stay; would you mind letting me know if s/he can make it?". That way they know it won't be Disneyland and Centre Parcs combined but neither is it so casual they can leave off letting you know numbers.

One idea i thought was good was that a lady gave out invites giving time and date but details/location tba. That way she had an idea of numbers and could book something appropriate in size.

I did find at nursery age a lot of mums (particularly where the dc had older siblings with commitments) weren't that bothered about pre-school parties. It's a lot easier when they're older and they've formed more concrete friendships and you can just ask two or three beforehand if they'd be able to come on that date/time. You also have an idea by then whether they're likely to let you down on the day.

Could you ask one or two if they'd be able to come before you book?

Cheers for the replies! Definitely given me some ideas on what to do. The hall is small and quite reasonable, more of a venue room than a hall actually so I suppose that makes a difference in terms of it looking too empty if not many people come. I'm worried about handing our the invites to early and people forgetting (birthday is still over a month away), also bit worried that if I cancel people who didn't RSVP might not get the message & turn up anyway that would be quite embarrassing too. I really never see the parents & dont know them apart from having been at one or two of there dcs parties with my lo.

I used to hand out 10/15 invites, once I had got to about 5 replies then I knew I had enough for a party! I also used to get my nephew on standby, if there were not many children he was roped in to be another child and would play games with the little ones, bless him! if there were enough small children he would just help supervise and pass round plates of food. I think you should go ahead anyway, even if you only have a few definite replies then it is enough for your DD to feel special at her party.

Thanks stanleylamchop (love the name) ! That's secretly what I want to do, she's so desperate to have one after being to other peoples, we won't do one every year this'll be her first but she's old enough to realise now. I can always try and rope in friends relatives (my mates nephew who I've never met etc).