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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To sellotape a bow to her head and have done with it?

103 replies

DuchessofHaphazard · 09/07/2013 16:26

Whenever I take DD (8mo) anywhere, she always gets mistaken for a boy. This doesn't bother me at all - she's bald as a coot, never wears pastel pink (hate the colour), rarely wears dresses, is often in some of her brother's hand-me-downs, and let's face it, babies of that age are are often pretty andogynous anyway.

So anyway, I really don't care if people think she's a boy - it matters not a jot. If they ask 'his' name, I'll tell them (obviously girl's name), or say '"she's 8mo" or whatever. The past few weeks I've had people absolutely ranting at me, telling me I should make it clear she's a girl, I should stop putting her in boy's clothes (once she was wearing stripy yellow and brown leggings, once a blue and white spotted dress ), I'll scar her for life if I insist on dressing her as a boy, she's very ugly for a girl (silly cow, she's gorgeous), plus a whole load of other crap, and I'm fed up. I don't care if people think she's a boy, but I do find some of the comments quite hurtful.

Do I just shop with a load of nutters? Today, for example, she's wearing stripy multicoloured leggings with bows on and a bright purple t-shirt, and I still had some arse of a woman telling me off for dressing her in boy's clothes. So, WIBU to sellotape a bow to her head? Alternatively, if anyone could come up with a good response for me ("did you mean to be so rude" just escalates the ranting), that would be fab!

OP posts:
Beamae · 09/07/2013 19:09

Maybe we should all get these and blow their tiny minds!

twistedtwee.co.uk/equal-opportunity-babygrows-c-23.html

wickedwithofthenorth · 09/07/2013 19:41

Hair doesn't help! Dd has a stupid amout, always up in bunches or clipped back and still gets call a boy!
I'm related by marrage to the type of nutters who will insit babies need to wear pink or blue and that you are wrong about the sex of your own baby!
Dh's grandmother did't believe dd was dd until she witnessed a nappy change at christmas, yes because we'd lie about baby's gender for 7 weeks, batty woman. Bil regaled us with the tales of her telling everyone that that baby just can't be a girl. Luckily she didn't have the nerve to say it to dh or I she'd have been run over by the very heavy pram. She freely addmits she wanted us to have a boy.

MsJupiterJones · 09/07/2013 19:49

DS gets the reverse, people fall over themselves to apologise that they have mistaken him for a girl. The horror!

He is very pretty Smile and we dress him in bright colours although I really want to buy him this just to fuck with people's minds...

Buzzardbird · 09/07/2013 19:53

Ah, she is cute. A pink slide though? You will scar her for life!

LifeSavedbyLego · 09/07/2013 19:56

I had this with ds2. He was very pretty, so unless he was in blue, people assumed he was a girl. Even colours like red which I thought were pretty neutral, nope. not a mistake ever made about ds1, he has grown into his features - bless him.

I don't get it. Presumable for this reason words like they and child were made along with phrases such as "oh they are gorgeous, what's their name?"

Though TBF I was somewhat taken about how hung up about the gender of babies people get. First question when pregnant - oh is it a boy or a girl, second question do you want a boy or a girl. Fucksake.

FridaKarlov · 09/07/2013 20:36

I have a girl and don't like pink. I told relatives this before she was born. We were deluged with pink stuff from well meaning but selectively deaf aunties.

Funghoul · 09/07/2013 20:40

Gender is a hang up, you're right, and answering with just a healthy baby isn't acceptable! Confused
Admittedly dd wears lots of pink and dresses, but this is because these clothes were bought for her. Personally I can't wait until she grows into the run DMC t shirt I bought her that my mum says a girl cannot wear!
How anyone can call a baby ugly is beyond me, your dd is anything but. Grin

rootypig · 09/07/2013 20:58

fairyjen the-pippa-and-ike-show.com/ has Mexican blankets

DameFanny · 09/07/2013 21:28

Going back to the original what can you say back... How about "why do you need to know my baby's sex, are you some kind of PEEDO or wot?" Delivered in a screech, obv.

Or (although she is a gorgeous little dot) "well you say she's ugly but she's got plenty of time to grow into her looks. You on the other hand..."

DameFanny · 09/07/2013 21:31

Oh, but you might want to swap the buggy for a racing one Grin

soaccidentprone · 09/07/2013 22:14

I love this thread. Some people are completely batty! What the hell does it matter who wears what colour? I think society is very strange atm. Ds1(17) told me the other day that only girls and gay men wear pink, and I have no idea where he has got this from.

Anyway I have come up a solution to your dilemma op.

You need bows with Velcro on, and then attach the other piece of Velcro to your dd's head. Tbh I find araldite the best glue on the market.

You can then mix and match the bow according to the outfit. This isn't on the market yet, so I am going to patent the idea before anyone else. Would you like me to send you a prototype?

Spidder · 09/07/2013 22:20

I don't actually think they look like girls or boys until they're about 3- especially if they have curly hair.

People think dd (20) months is boy all the time. dh gets a bit upset about it, but I pointed out that people thought I was a boy until I was 5 (mum was once asked if we were Scottish Hmm ), but no one thinks I look like a bloke now. Grin

DuchessofHaphazard · 09/07/2013 22:28

For whoever noticed the pink slide in the background - it's actually DS's - it was orange but has faded over the past couple of years, so it's him I'm scarring for life I suppose Grin.

Loving all the suggestions - soaccidentprone you should definitely go ahead, it's not any more bonkers than baby wigs really :)

::puts araldite and velcro on shopping list::

Thank you all for making me laugh, and telling me that DD is in fact gorgeous. I actually got quite upset about the ugly comment (DD was very prem and I am a bit precious sensitive about her), especially as DH helpfully pointed out that babies are quite ugly really, when you look at it objectively Hmm. Thanks DH.

OP posts:
rednellie · 09/07/2013 22:47

I got mistaken for a boy up until I was about 16. I even had a woman in a dress shop sniggering to her friend because she thought I was a teenage boy trying on a dress. Oh yes.

I am in no way masculine looking, I just had the temerity to be tall and have short hair. There was one advantage, I never got id for anything.

And I can confirm I am a very womanly woman now with very few no gender issues. Grin You're baby is a sweetie. Just nut the next idiot who says anything.

MsJupiterJones · 09/07/2013 22:47

Soaccident, you jest, but...

baldybabybows.com/

DuchessofHaphazard · 09/07/2013 22:53

Oh. My. God. They actually sell bows you glue to your baby's head?! There aren't enough Shock faces in the world...

Seriously, what kind of loon must you be to think, every thinks DD is a boy, so I'll glue a bow to her head?

OP posts:
DuchessofHaphazard · 09/07/2013 22:53

everyone

OP posts:
soaccidentprone · 09/07/2013 22:54

OMG I don't know whether to be Shock or Angry

MsJupiterJones · 09/07/2013 22:57

Horrific.

blackbirdatglanmore · 09/07/2013 23:03

She's gorgeous and I think she looks like a girl! So there! Honestly, I'm not just saying that to appease you, she's a very cute looking baby. Silly mare. And it was rude!

3birthdaybunnies · 09/07/2013 23:03

Dd1 had loads of hair, usually wore pink or purple hand me downs and people often asked how old he was or what a lovely boy I had. In the end I reasoned that people who knew me knew she was a girl and people who didn't know me were generally happy with a smile and a nod and no need to correct them. Strangely ds has never been mistaken for a girl despite my lazy approach to haircuts.

Spidder · 09/07/2013 23:04

I'd want a bigger bow. They just look like sweets have got stuck. You want something that really screams 'girl'. Blue would definitely be out.

blondieminx · 09/07/2013 23:07

Shock the FAQ on that website - um, no one frequently asks wtf you'd GLUE a bow to your baby's HEAD???

DuchessofHaphazard · 09/07/2013 23:07

Some og the comments are really scary:
^"I think these baby bows are adorable!
I'm very excited about it! Finally a
product that works so I don't have to
loose my bows to K Y Jelly or Karo Syrup!"^

What was she using before? Superglue? Plus ick at using KY on your baby's head.

OP posts:
SueDoku · 09/07/2013 23:10

The world has truely gone mad....Shock

Who in their right mind would GLUE a bow to a child's head..?????