I think a key point to make is that so far, absolutely everyone involved is talking a fair amount of unsubstantiated opinion.
Unless your original consultant has an x-ray of your pelvis, he doesn't know what shape it is. If he's very pro-CS, then you can expect him to say exactly what he's saying.
Your DH is also not a HCP nor an expert on birth. Coming out with nonsense about risking your baby's life is just that: nonsense. If he wants the stats, give them to him... and then have a homebirth, as that's what the stats say give (marginally) the best outcomes!
So for a start, I'd get second opinions on the medical stuff, and be very clear with your DH that hysteria and scaremongering won't make you put his opinion before yours, but it WILL make you consider that perhaps he's not the best birth partner.
The most important thing to remember is this. There are no assurances with childbirth, there is no set plan which will ever give you the assured best outcome. Sometimes, there are solid medical indications which should see you choose one path, e.g. CS; far more often, there are only the personal preferences of the HCP involved. There is however one consideration which, in the absence of significant medical contraindications, should always come first - and that is the preference of the person giving birth. Not only are you more likely to have a good birth if it's the kind of birth you wanted, it is vitally important to feel that as much as possible, that you are in control, you have made the decisions - that you are giving birth and not having birth done to you.
The words 'I won't have it under any circumstances' should never pass your DH's lips when the talk is of YOUR birth - that is unacceptable.
If you want to try VBAC, you absolutely should: the fact that you want it MAKES it the best option. If your DH can't support that, it is HE who is pulling down the chance of a best outcome: i.e. a safe birth which leaves you both physically and MENTALLY in good health and best prepared for life with a newborn.