to be very grumpy about Christenings and Godparents

[neveronsunday]

I know I am but I want to get it out.

Last week, I got an invitation to my best friend's son's christening. She has not asked us to be Godparents.

This is because we are not remotely religious and our daughter is not Christened so really this fair enough.

However, I've been mulling it over and it makes me sad because I know she makes more effort with children she is Godmother to than mine. Also, I always thought that Godparents were there as an 'alternative adult' to give moral guidance.

Godparents seem to be given an "official status" which is about more than religion. I'm therefore a little upset that she would appoint someone else.

I know I'm over thinking this and am bracing myself to be hit with flames.

My BF is Godmother to my DD as she is Catholic & so is DH who wanted DD to be baptised. I am not religious whatsoever and when BF eventually has children I will not expect to be Godmother because of my (non) beliefs. I will not be offended, I'll always be in her's and her future children's life/lives but not in a religious way.

I was suggesting she should do something secular just for me, that would be very needy!

However, I think 'oddparent' is essentially what I am after.

Thank heavens for Mumsnet

I WASN'T suggesting.

I know exactly what you mean OP (surprised how obtuse some are being).

We have one religious and 2 non-religious godparents for DD. My best friend is not religious (though she is christened and possibly confirmed) but I absolutely wanted her to have an important role in DD's life and she is certainly someone I trust to provide moral guidance, if not specifically religious, which personally I think just as important. The vicar at the church where DD was christened was very laid back and just told people not to say anything they weren't comfortable with!

As this friend lives on the other side of the world I was even more certain I wanted her to have this 'title' and role in DD's life.

(this is also why I'm not keen on family members being gps - I'm DNiece's gm but I never remember I am - I'm her aunty, that's my 'title' and my predominant role. One of my aunties is my gm but again, she's my aunty first and foremost.)

Maybe I should be your mate instead