Children's bedtimes

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AIBU to be hacked off with being told how to bring up/educate my child. Not just what Gove's being saying about education, but now they're on about children that don't go to bed early aren't the high achievers. Can't they back off?

Maybe you are the perfect parent, but to be fair, there are a hell of a lot out there that are bloody clueless. It isnt aimed personally at you.

I thought it was research which had shown the effect that a regular bedtime had was a positive one?

I certainly don't think you can ignore the fact that a good nights sleep is very important for the vast majority of children.

Various people do studies and then give us information so we, as parents, can make informed choices. I don't really see it as being told what to do.

Actually it's a very reasonable article

It's talking about lack of routine and often going to bed after 9pm in DCs aged 3-7.

Now I'm forever getting about the British obsession with bed time and parents making life difficult for themselves, their DCs, friends and family by insisting on 7.30. Parents seem happy to spend until 10pm fighting a DC who would have gone to bed at 8.15 quite happily, but wasn't tired at 7-7.30.

However, except on days like today, when the longest and hotest days coincide, the odd day trip and on holiday, 9pm is, surely, the latest conceivable lights out for DCs that small. Even my night owl DD1 was happy to go to bed before 8.30 except in high summer when her room is very hot and the neighbours a bit noisy.

All kids are different! My 5yo DS hours to sleep at 9:15-9.30 and is up at 7ish. That's the amount of sleep he needs. It doesn't matter whether he goes to bed at 7pm or 9pm, that's what time he sleeps.

He's also top of his class and never tired.

But I'm clearly going wrong, Gove knows best about everything.

I agree with early bedtimes and regular routines for children (although I'm not rigid when special occasions occur) and I think it does make for happier, focussed minds.

However, my DD is the most amazing sleeper. She awoke only once a night from birth, at 8 weeks was sleeping through and since then has only been up during the night when ill or needs the toilet. She is now 9. Although she obviously has things she is better at than others and is brilliant at making things/drawing things etc, she is not a high achiever.

By this study, DD should be on her way to becoming the next einstein. Rubbish study based on a snapshot of kids.

YABU. No one's proposing to pass legislation stating that children must be in bed by a certain time. They are just providing information which concludes that a good night's sleep is important for school going children.
TBH an awful lot of parents nowadays seem to just let their children run around until they drop and then carry them up to bed fast asleep. It means no down time for the parents and no real routine for the children. And there is something comforting about a regular bedtime routine when you're small ( and great excitement the odd time it's thrown out the window).

I love the 'research' that has shown that children with regular bedtimes do better at school. Erm, no, it is the type of parents whose children have regular bedtimes will be all round better parents. Those with chaotic lifestyles, not so much.

I find with these sorts of studies that for example in this case - parents who let their children go to bed when they want, don't have some sort of routine often are lax in other areas, don't encourage thier children, help with learning etc so of course those sorts of children aren't going to be high achieves as they don't have the support at home. That's not to say that a child who goes to sleep at 9.30pm but has parents who provide support and routine at other times is going to be stupid. It's always about the whole picture and sometimes studies don't always reflect this.

angelos and jojane exactly.

Classic correlation/causation mismatch...

As far as I am aware its not about going to bed late its about a set bed time.

It can be 9pm but is it regular and worked to every evening and are the DC getting enough sleep?

I think he means more parents with DC who govern themselves and go to bed whenever....with no discipline.

I wouldn't say a chaotic lifestyle makes you a bad parents, you can be uber strict and be an awful hideous prison guard parents.

Chaos doesn't mean neglect. You can have children brought up to learn and love learning that are not in a rigid routine.

Neglect is neglect.

I agree that regular bed times usually equate with a more consistent homelife. A child who is ready for bed at a particular time every evening is also likely to be a child who has regular mealtimes, set amount of times they're allowed play on the Wii or watch telly and parents who make sure they've done their homework; while a child that's still regularly out playing on the green at 10.30 is likely to be a child who's parents are lax on responsibility and discipline in other ways as well.

StarBallBunny

Totally agree, mine are 8pm, both fallen asleep naturally at that time since months old. 8pm is bed time, for them to be in bed.

If I tried to force them to go at 7pm it wouldn't have worked!

Yoni sure you can be a chaotic and brilliant parent, but I think what angelos is referring to - and the kinds of chaotic families I was thinking of, which are those that I work with - are situations where kids have no routine at all, there's not necessarily dinner around, there's no bath time, certainly no bed time... etc etc.

Agree that if a child doesn't need much sleep then there's no point putting them to bed at 7pm just for the sake of it.

I would desperately love my children to be asleep before 9 every night. 4 and 6. If anyone knows how to make them fall asleep at 7.30 please share it.

Not a chaotic lifestyle, rock solid routine on school nights, reading done nightly, almost daily playing in the park.

Unfortunately that routine currently includes a huge long spell of fucking about before they go to sleep. I hate it, they are always tired and grumpy.

I agree with marzi. I took 'chaotic' to mean a family with no real stability or boundaries; children allowed to run wild, fend for themselves at meal times, not turning up for school at regular intervals, parents with ever changing partners coming and going, etc etc.

Professor on London news said it was consistency that was the key. So not early / late per se being bad just no routine. She actually suggested if a later bedtime worked for your child that was better than trying to force an earlier one on younger children (or words to that effect). Structure and consistency not times was the message I took. Not sure what is wrong with that.