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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not join in the ribbing of dress-wearing ds?

34 replies

CailinDana · 08/07/2013 20:32

Ds (2.5) is a very confident funny little boy. At playgroup he loves dressing up and he often chooses dresses and girl's shoes. He says he's a princess. I think it's incredibly cute. A lot of the other parents laugh and say i should take photos to embarrass him when he's older. I don't like their reaction for two reasons. First on a broader level i don't like the implication that dressing as a girl is embarrassing - no comment is ever made about the girl dressed as spiderman. On a more personal level i don't like my son, who's genuinely enjoying himself, being laughed at. I remember adults laughing at me when i was little and not understanding why and it was awful.
Aibu?

OP posts:
UpTheFRIGGinDuff · 08/07/2013 20:34

YANBU

scarletforya · 08/07/2013 20:35

No. YAnbu.

It is cute, and anyone who slags him is a gobshite. Angry

SueDoku · 08/07/2013 20:36

YADNBU may your DS long remain as confident and happy - he sounds wonderful..!

Dejected · 08/07/2013 20:36

My boys raced to play with the pushchairs at playgroup and dressed up in the girly dressing up outfits and it didn't bother me a jot. I figured it was because they were new to them because they had the typical boy toys at home.

I don't blame you for not wanting your son laughed at so you are NBU!

superbagpuss · 08/07/2013 20:38

both my sons have worn dresses and I have not laughed at them but did take photos as they looked cute

ds also said he wanted to wear my wedding dress when he gets married. I just said we would discuss it when he gets older Smile.

superbagpuss · 08/07/2013 20:38

so sorry op you are not bu

Cherriesarelovely · 08/07/2013 20:39

I couldn't agree with you more. Dd has a young friend who has always enjoyed doing this and he is also a very fun, confident child. His parents are very at ease with it and have never attempted to curtail his dressing up. Nowadays they are all 10 and he still enjoys doing it occasionally, the other children honestly think nothing of it, they think it is another aspect of his fun personality.

I think you are so right about the double standard with regards to girls dressing in "boys clothes" etc. Taking pictures to embarrass him....horrible.

BrokenBanana · 08/07/2013 20:42

Yanbu but also a bit over sensitive

Wolfiefan · 08/07/2013 20:46

My daughter has been a whale, Ben 10 and a cat so far this week. I think it shows her imagination and I find it cute and endearing.
YANBU.
People ABU to ridicule your child. I'm afraid I'd make a comment about how you welcome individuality (such as that displayed by ground breaking entrepreneurs!)

SkinnybitchWannabe · 08/07/2013 20:46

What a bunch of dickheads.
My youngest ds likes his nails painted when Im doing mine and he used to have his 'own' eyeshadow to put on when I used to go out.
Ignore the morons

numbum · 08/07/2013 20:46

My DS used to run around with a pushchair and cuddle a dolly at playgroup and I used to get the same comments from mums of girls. They soon stopped when I started saying the same things when their girls were playing with cars or anything classed as a 'boy toy' to them

Earthworms · 08/07/2013 20:48

I like the comment, what's so embarrassing about being a girl, are we subhuman then?

Original poster
CailinDana · 08/07/2013 21:03

I haven't actually said anything because i think i'd get looked at like i had two heads.

OP posts:
loveliesbleeding1 · 08/07/2013 21:08

My son and my nephew both used to totter around in my high heels, luckily my son grew out of it as he is 6 ft5 now and he would be blooming massive if he still did it.and my dd loved being spiderman, those people at nursery need to grow the f up

Turniptwirl · 08/07/2013 21:08

"Yes it's so wonderful that he's open minded, I better capture the moment in case people like you try to change him"

OryxCrake · 08/07/2013 21:44

Nobody should be laughing at your son at all. It's lovely that he enjoys dressing up and great that he's into imaginative play. Nothing wrong with a little boy being a princess.

My youngest son loved a particular dressing-up dress at playgroup and would rush to put it on before he did anything else. I took photos, as did the playgroup staff, because he looked very cute. Now he's in his late teens I'm so glad I have them as a reminder of a lovely age.

FriendlyLadybird · 08/07/2013 21:48

Living in a city with a lot of students, as far as I can tell, young men still take every opportunity they can to dress up as girls. And quite right too -- we have a much better choice of clothes.

I don't like it when adults laugh at children. YANBU.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 08/07/2013 21:48

My DS had free reign of all the toys at nursery and when I was pg with DD ( he would have been 2.6) he was very interested in the baby dollies.
The nursery leads said "Let him play , it'll be like him play acting with the new baby"

OK

Till I saw him
"undress baby" by putting the doll on the ironing board
then his foot on it's back to remove it's onesie
then "put baby in oven".

Needless to say he was carefully supervised with his (much loved) baby sister Grin

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 08/07/2013 21:52

My son, at the time aged three or four liked nothing better than his little sisters pretend iron and ironing board.....

I am just rather wistful this love of ironing has not, twenty years down the line, remained with him. :)

5madthings · 08/07/2013 21:53

Yanbu at all.

He may be young but he will start to pick.up on the message that dressing up is silly/girly/not something he should do.

Such double standards thats its ok for girls to do 'boy' things but not vice versa.

weisswusrt · 08/07/2013 21:54

Oh....I've said similar before, but usually the child is wearing tinfoil shoes and a cat bowl hat. Maybe they are just spouting clichés? I feel bad for laughing now. Could you brush it off with a comment about being glad he's confident and happy and that's what matters in life, not conforming to stereotypes.

WorraLiberty · 08/07/2013 21:56

I think you're taking it a bit too seriously really

Lots of people say, "Oh that'll be something to embarrass them with when they're teens", or "Oh that'll be one to tell the grandchildren".

And I have 3 boys who have all at various times grabbed dressing up outfits like that at nursery...same as lots of boys do.

kim147 · 08/07/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumsyblouse · 08/07/2013 22:05

It depends if they are really laughing nastily or in a awww sweet kind of way. I might chuckle over a little girl dressed up in a tutu or a little boy wearing a princess dress but it wouldn't be nasty it would be enjoying the cuteness of it. You can't pretend that older boys wear dresses and of course this is sometimes commented on (and I think you are wrong if you think a little girl wearing a spiderman costume won't get a smile and a chuckle/comment too) but is it really a nasty oppressive thing? We all smiled and laughed (in a nice way) when my cousin turned up to a birthday party in a pink dress when he was about 3, and yes, it was shown at his wedding now he's a 6 4 rugby player and yes, it was funny. Subverting gender stereotypes is often funny, but you can't pretend you are not doing it.

JaffaMyCake · 08/07/2013 22:55

He is 2 ffs. Anybody who laughs is a prick.