To consider making a seating plan for my 40th birthday dinner?

[hackneybird]

I'm obsessing slightly about my 40th in another thread, but ideally I'd like to have a nice dinner with all my favourite people. I love to eat out and it's what I have always imagined doing for my 40th.

However, I'm feeling a bit anxious about it as being (nearly) 40, I have a few different friendship groups - couple of school friends, Uni friends, friends from my hedonistic 20s, NCT mum friends, and I'm afraid I'd spend all night worrying that they'd all get along with each other. Plus there are a couple of people who have fallen out over the years etc.

I thought I might do a table plan to make sure that everyone is sitting near someone they get along with, or that I know they'd have something in common with.

Or am I being anal and controlling? :) I am a natural organiser and tend to get a bit over the top with these sorts of things and I know this can drive people a bit mad.

However, at other big dinners I have seen people marooned amongst groups of people they don't know from Adam, whilst casting longing looks at their own friends sitting at the other end of the table, and would like to avoid this if possible ifykwim.

What would you think/do?

Of course you should.

If there were little favours with names attached in the places, I don't think I'd give it a second thought as a guest

I think it's a good idea, better still if you can allocate yourself 3/4 seats so you can mingle.

I've been to a 40th where we had set places. Really helped everyone get talking to each other instead of being sat in groups of people you already know. Birthday boy even did a speech introducing everyone.

My 30th meal in 2 weeks and I have a table plan even though there is only 16 of us.

People who are friends with both parties of a falling out are likely to appreciate not having to chose who to sit with

Absolutely! Do it, there are good reasons for seating plans and I think it shows the guests you've thought about who they might enjoy sitting with.

Nothing worse than that moment when everyone stands looking panicky or vacant!

If you get the men to move two places left between courses, you can keep it all lively.

Happy birthday!

Thanks everyone, really helpful. I've mentioned my seating plan idea to a couple of mates in RL and they've looked at me a bit .

I'm going to be asking some people to make the trek to North London from South London, and was thinking of covering the cost of a people carrier taxi home for these folk in order to minimise the convenience.

Hope that doesn't come across as too desperate, but some people will have to travel back for babysitters and such.

Now I just have to think of a little favour type thing to go with the name tags.....