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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to cancel my own leaving lunch

29 replies

Christelle2207 · 08/07/2013 14:47

Sorry, on reflection more of a WWYD.
I leave for mat leave on Friday. I was told lunch would be organised for me but it wasn't and clearly with quite a large group (10ish) someone would need to organise something so I let everyone know the day and to let me know if any suggestions (there were none) then consulted with a colleague and booked somewhere and let them know. Now I'm getting all kinds of complaints about ooh what about x instead and I don't like y because you can't park there easily etc. TBH this was inevitable anyway, we rarely go out as an office anyway because of places to go and rarely being able to agree.
They've piped down for now but I now know there will almost certainly be arguments just before the lunch (on thursday) and I'll be put under pressure to cancel/move (Like 10 people can just wander in anywhere and expect a table??!). I just can't deal with the responsibility of people not being happy (not to mention the embarrassment of having to call booked restaurant to cancel a table for 10 ten minutes before we arrive), obviously being 37 weeks pg and hormonal doesn't help and tbh I really don't see why I should be organising it anyway.
Should I
a. just cancel the booking and say yes it would be nice to go out but I don't want to be responsible for people being unhappy so please can someone else just sort it out according to the general consensus on where to go (this runs the risk of it not happening at all).
b. stick to my guns and say I didn't get any suggestions when I asked, it's my lunch, so we're going there. End of.
c. cancel it completely and risk coming across like a complete misery guts?

OP posts:

Pennyacrossthehall · 08/07/2013 14:50

Definitely go with (b).

There is always someone who will winge about whatever choice you make and if you accept/consider one change someone else will then pipe up. Easier by far to just ignore them and carry on.

RedHelenB · 08/07/2013 14:50

EvieanneVolvic · 08/07/2013 14:50

Cancel it: take ine some cakes and chocolate and drinks (Schloer for you and non drinkers, plonk for everyone else).

And forget 'em. You have way more exciting things to think about!

EvieanneVolvic · 08/07/2013 14:52

Or B!

iwantavuvezela · 08/07/2013 14:52

Just go with B - enjoy your lunch, you will have a good time with your colleagues and it will be fun ..... Dont overthink it, it is a lunch, and someone surely cant be that unhappy with a choice of restuarant or parking (Unless you have chosen one where meals are £50 or more).

I am sure you will have a good time on Thursday ......

Crinkle77 · 08/07/2013 14:58

yeah go with b. I too find this annoying when trying to organise something. It is impossible to please everyone so just send round a reminder reiterating the plans and if people choose not to go then that is up to them

rubyanddiamond · 08/07/2013 15:00

I think it's impossible to get any sort of consensus if more than 4 people are involved :) you need someone to take charge.

Stick to your guns, and have a standard reply for the moaners 'sorry you're not happy with the restaurant choice, but I hope you can still join us on Thursday'.

Lweji · 08/07/2013 15:00

But taking in cakes and drinks is also a good idea if nobody bothered to arrange your lunch.

BTW, you can't easily walk in with 10, but all you need is a phone call.
Tell people where you want it, then ask them to confirm asap and book the table.

It's better to cancel a table, or reduce the booking than not having an available table.

magicstar1 · 08/07/2013 15:55

Surely it's up to the rest of the office to organise your leaving lunch? I've never heard of anyone having to do it for themself.

I'd cancel the booking and tell anyone who asked "Yes, lunch would be great...let me know where you book" etc.

Original poster

Christelle2207 · 08/07/2013 15:58

Thanks. That's what I was thinking, I will just have to brace myself for more whinges and hope that by then I will be so close to finishing work that I wont really care anyway.

OP posts:

GoshlyoHeavens · 08/07/2013 16:07

I've typed several sentences answering this and deleted them all. Even that sounds wrong. I'd say B. It's awful organising stuff.

SueDoku · 08/07/2013 17:07

After years of attempting organisation of our works Christmas meal, you have all my sympathy OP. Go for B - and anyone who doesn't want to come needn't... Make sure that you enjoy it, and then forget them and concentrate on you and your DC for the next few months - good luck !!

Katisha · 08/07/2013 17:12

I do wonder why office bashes survive as its always problematic. Plus, all sitting on a long table in a large party is hopeless as you are stuck with the people next to you the entre time, and it takes an age for the food to come. Not to mention sorting out the bill.

If it were me I would just go with two or three closer freinds and not try to involve all of them.

Katisha · 08/07/2013 17:12

sorry about spelling...

Dorris83 · 08/07/2013 20:50

D- office picnic, ask everyone yo being in lunch items and either go to the park or take over a meeting room. Lower key and easy for people to pop and eat what they likw to eat.

PenguinBear · 08/07/2013 20:51

sunshinesue · 08/07/2013 21:01

Call in sick and go out for lunch with proper mates instead.

Original poster

Christelle2207 · 09/07/2013 08:51

these things really are hideous aren't they. Unfortunately with our office being fairly small it's kind of "expected" that you have a do, even though noone will organise it for you and almost everyone will whinge about something.
I am liking the office picnic idea - we have a decent lawn just outside.

OP posts:

VikingVagine · 09/07/2013 09:00

We recently had a retirement meal for three colleagues. One of the three didn't come because she didn't want to make a big deal out of it. We'd all chipped in to buy her a really nice present which she didn't get (we'll have to send it to her ) .

PavlovtheCat · 09/07/2013 09:04

Oh I would go against the grain. I would say either a) or c).

But, then I really am a misery guts when it comes to this kind of thing.

apostropheuse · 09/07/2013 09:05

To be honest I would never have organised my own leaving lunch, even if others were making no moves to do it. It just seems a bit weird somehow.

However, now that it's booked, I would go with what you've organised and if they come, they come.

The other thing you could do, as someone else said, is cancel and then go out for lunch/dinner with some friends instead.

Congratulations on your forthcoming baby and good luck!

MumnGran · 09/07/2013 09:12

I wouldn't have organised my own leaving do ...but as you have, I would go with (b).....with the rider that you need to find someone willing to deal with the bill for you on the day!! ...there is always someone who doesn't have enough cash or some other other excuse, and you will not be in the office to sort out the aftermath of chasing them. Find a willing victim, or you may end up paying as well as organising!!

Mogz · 09/07/2013 09:28

I get this EVERY year when trying to organise the team Christmas lunch, you ask for ideas, none are forth coming, send round details of what's been arranged and then the complaints start.

PumpkinPie2013 · 09/07/2013 12:27

Either B or the office picnic idea

I agree you will never please everyone so go with what you have planned/want as it's your lunch!

I remember now why we don't go out as a department: one vegan, one gluten free and one who will moan loudly no matter what (and there's only 6 of us in total!).

Congratulations on the baby and enjoy your leave! x

threestars · 09/07/2013 12:31

B. And if anyone complains, tell them it's not obligatory (but will be noted )

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