MIL visit

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I have an impending visit from my MIL - she visits every 3 months or so. I have cleaned, tidied and even gardened for the visit. She voices her opinion on everything - me, my clothes, my hair, the children, the house: and points out anything which does not come up to scratch. We need a new kitchen, so she's bringing along some brochures to go through with me.... She also freely goes upstairs and has a look round - no need we have a downstairs loo. Hence upstairs is looking it's neatest, since she last visited. I work from home, and am extremely busy, so don't appreciate this busy body coming and telling me what needs to be done around the place. Any tips on how to get through the visit would be appreciated. AIBU to hide in my study while she's here?

Yes that's it. Make her pay. No seriously maybe your house is untidy. My house is definitely untidy unless my daughter goes away on holiday. she lives with us and makes most of the mess. I love her so put up with it. Frantic tidying if someone is coming like this weekend for her birthday party. Try to be tidier by putting things in their proper places. Get the children to tidy up every day. I hide toys so they don't leave everything out. I hate mess but it just happens. If she makes a comment just ask her about David Cameron's macro-economic policy and what she thinks about it. If you don't know what it is google it. Most people think you're bonkers if you bring this subject up. In our house it is a signal that the subject has to change. Try to engage her in comversation about something that has nothing to do with children or husband or home life. Also have a fixed time for her to leave. Time goes by at the same rate whether you are happy or not. when it drags tell yourself that she will go home and there are so many minutes until she goes. My MIL was dead so I was lucky. My husband found my mother very interesting; she was a historian so it was ok. Good luck.

Point out that you've done your fair share but that dh hasn't - so if only she'd brought her son up properly to do his fair share then the house might be in a state closer to the one that she thinks it should be in. In an oh so nice saccharine voice so that you're not being explicitly rude to her. And point out that she had it easy in her day as

Thanks for all your advice!! She came, had a moan about a few things, wasn't positive about the work we've had done recently - so let's face it, she's just a sad old whinge. DH and I have discussed that next time we do it on neutral ground, halfway between our houses (she lives 4 hours away) - that way I don't get stressed and she can't get uptight.

The other thng to do is play mil bingo - write out a list of all the things she might possibly moan about and get a point for each one she says. You and dh could either make your own lists and see who gets the most or have the same list and see who has the most spoken to them or make up the rules that suit you best.

Important thing is though that points mean prizes - decided in advance. Could be as simple as a bar of chocolate, a nice magazine, a glass (or bottle!) of wine. Or depending on how bad the visit is then upping the stakes to a handbag or a pass not to invite mil for at least 6 months etc may be more appropriate

Good thing about this is that it turns Mil's vitriol into a game which neutralises it and turns it into a game. Will especially annoy her if she says something on your list so you just pull it out and and cross it off and put it away again and she will have no idea what you are doing which will frustrate her. And it will get to a point where you are hoping that she says something really bad so that you get more points rather than worrying about what she is nitpicking about.