To have had enough of MIL's behaviour?

[DancingLola]

Was at MIL's yesterday, having a BBQ party for DH's bday. We have DS1 who is 5 & DS2 who is 9 weeks, and the plan was for us to stay in the spare room.

Gets to 11:30 & I decide to head up to bed with DS2, so say goodnight to all. Manage to get the baby off to sleep and just drifting off myself when I hear MIL in the living room (directly below the bedroom I was in) shouting about not liking the music in he garden. Then the stereo comes blaring on at full volume, making DS2 jump almost out of his skin & start howling. I get up & dress, then go to find DH to say that I thought it would be better for me & DS2 to head home as would be easier to sleep there. I wasn't angry or shouting at him, just weary as DS2 isn't sleeping though & I felt like I'd been up forever!

DH was really annoyed to hear what MIL had done, so they has an argument. This is nothing new, they always seem to argue after they have both been drinking, so being the only sober person I stayed out of it, though I wasn't impressed with them shouting & swearing in front of DS1.

I got the car seat out of DH's car (I don't drive so had phoned my dad to ask if he could give me a lift home) and as I came back into the garden could hear MIL ranting about it being her house & she can do what she wants, then she moved on to slagging me off & making out she never gets to see the DS's like my parents do. Obviously she was conveniently forgetting that my parents make the effort to come & see their grandsons, whereas despite us both telling her she was welcome to come over any time she won't. She's not elderly or infirm, just wants everything on her terms. This was only 2nd time she'd seen DS2 since he was born & she barely showed any interest in him.

She then switched from the woe is me talk to saying she didn't care anyway. The person she was complaining too said not to be daft & of course she cared about DS1 to which she replied no, she didn't care about him! Thankfully he wasn't nearby when she said this, or he'd have been heartbroken. I decided to take him home with me too. I know she was drunk, but I see no reason why she should say that, IMO it's unforgiveable.

I've said to DH that I don't feel I can trust her anymore, and want nothing more to do with her. Am still really fucked off now - AIBU?

Sorry it's so long & apologies if spelling is dodgy I'm on my phone.

[fabergeegg]

I'd be thinking two hours in the park every other week, take it or leave it.

[DancingLola]

2Rebecca - we had a venue lined up originally for the party that fell through a couple of weeks ago & had no luck finding anywhere else. she suggested the BBQ at hers as her garden is about 4 times the size of ours & she saw it as her present to him. A meal/night out would be what we normally do, but as it was his 40th he'd invited a lot more people.

[DancingLola]

Imademarion - yes I plan to take my driving test as soon as I can leave DS2 for long enough! it would have been a lot easier if I could have just driven myself & DS's home a bit earlier in the evening, although I suspect MIL would have kicked off about something else so there still would have been drama!

[GoodMorningMoon]

YANBU! She sounds like my own mother, except she doesn't drink and never has people round! But how awful of MIL to say that about your DS1.

I agree that your family deserves better. At least your parents are a source of support!

[imademarion]

although I suspect MIL would have kicked off about something

If she can't be trusted to behave then you have every right to refuse to be around her until she does.

Nothing wring with showing her there are consequences to her behaviour.

And people who constantly make drama are silly and tiring and terrible role models for your little ones

Enjoy the freedom!

[pumpkinsweetie]

Yanbu, my fil said something just as hateful to all 4 of my dc, regardless to say we are now nc due to his constant blow-ups!

[123oap]

I feel for you, I do. I have a dragon for a MIL, who since the day of my wedding and the birth of my two children has done everything in her power to get one over on me. She is purely attention seeking, and I suspect this is what your MIL is doing, after all, people will be talking about you and your new baby and she's probably feeling left out. I agree that I would give her a wide berth for a while, and yes do tell her you won't tolerate this behaviour. Oh and do tell your husband what she said, because over the years I haven't told mine nasty things my MIL has said about me and my children, and it's only in the last few years he's seen what she's really like.