to think this is pot calling kettle black

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Bit of background. We have 3 dc. 2 primary aged and an almost 8 month old who is still not sleeping through.
I am a sahn and dh wiorks long hours. (13 hour days including commute.)
I do pretty much all the childcare which can be 24/7 with baby.
And laundry, housework etc.
He cooks the odd meal and may load dishwasher very occassionally.
Also does garden and diy but not exactly every day jobs.
Now I could probably deal with this if literally everyone in the house didn't think it is my job to pick up after them.
Examples from dh
Leaves empty wrappers and mugs etc on side table.
Leaves clothes on the floor.
Opens a beer and leave lid on side
Cuts pizza etc on chopping board and doesn't wipe up after himself.
I could go on but you get the idea.
Now today dhhas just ranted about the place being a tip and shouted at dc for dropping wrappers on the floor.
Aibu to think he doesn't have authority to do this as kids have noticed his mess.
I think we need to sit down together and sort out some family rules which all of us need to comply with.
Aibu

nope. good idea. When are you going to do it and how do you think it's going to go? Are you going to point out his hypocrisy?

Do you think the rant is actually at you because he thinks it's all your job?

stop picking up after him, unless there is actually anything dangerous to the kids left about, leave his clothes on the floor - you're not his mum and with 3 DC you have enough to do. It does not take 2 seconds to put a lid in the bin or recycling, just cos he works long hours is no excuse for sheer laziness, because YOU work long hours too.

I could've written your post, only differences are that we have 2 dc and I also work - although locally, whereas dh has a commute.

Be interested to hear how your family rules discussion goes; will also be one in this house very soon - today dh has mostly been watching sport upstairs, every time he comes downstairs he moans about the mess the dc make, but is completely oblivious to the mess he makes - at the moment his shoes are in the living room, he constantly moans at the dc for this - there are 2 jackets hanging off a dining chair - his tie from Thursday is on the mantle piece.

I could go on!!

Definitely time for some changes here - yanbu!

My husband does all this stuff. It's his inability to complete a task that i blame! He is not doing it expecting me to clear up after him, but he just doesn't finish tasks. Other egs - puts washing on, leaves washing powder tablet wrapper on the side. wraps a present, leaves paper, scissors and sellotape on table. Empties bin, fails to put new bin bag in.

Point it out jokingly to him - 'finish the task DH'! Are you sure he is realising what he is doing? When he tells the kids off he might think he is supporting you?

If he wants to shout at the children point at his rubbish he has left lying around every time he does it and ask him where he thinks his children learn their attitude from and what changes he think may make them stop?

If she does that Xales she is undermining (is that the word?) him. She needs to tackle it separately not in the heat of the moment!

Why do you even have to ask here?

There is that flashbulb moment in most parents lives when they realise that their children are quite literally clones of them.

You need to point out to your "D"H that your DCs are simply demonstrating learned behaviour, they are doing what he does, and if he doesn't think it's an attractive quality in them why on earth would he think it's an attractive quality in him???

Time for your DH to take a good long look in the mirror

Well we sat down and tried family rules approach. He just used attack as the 1st form of defence. By starting off with a rule which only applies to me. (I stock up on toiletries etc when on offer and he wanted us to not buy anymore without using up old ones) How mature !!!
Will have to see if things will change.