to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

[strawberry34]

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

[Nornironmum]

To be honest, I really can't understand how this is even legal? I mean really, you make a choice when having children, they don't ask to be born, you must know things are going to change when you have them? I just can't understand how having a few drinks or having a meal, is worth risking you children's safety.
Either take a baby sitter, or take the kids with you.
Yes I would totally judge any one how did this, and I think it's one of the most selfish things a parent can do, and I have seen so many struggle to even have DC, that when I hear of people that would do take this risk, that is purely for selfish reasons, I just feel sad.

[GoldenGytha]

My DC were young long before the MM case,

It never entered my head to leave them alone while on holiday, a night out is not more important than my DC.

Sometimes XH would stay on in the bar, and I went back to the room/caravan with the DC, but leaving them alone was never an option.

No one has to justify why they wouldn't do this, it's just common sense and decent parenting that your kids come first.

[mrscog]

No I wouldn't do this. The only exception I can think of is if they were an age where they definitely couldn't escape from their cot and if I were staying in a proper 'home from home' B&B where it's literally the same size as your house and the 'staff' are the owners and no one else(absolutely no more than 4/5 bedrooms), then I can't see how it is any different from home. I personally probably still wouldn't leave DS though.

[badfaketan]

I wouldn't do it.
Apparently my in-laws used to leave their 4 year old in charge of 2 younger ones though and go for dinner in the restaurant with no monitor!

[fluffyraggies]

I didn't do it and never would. My kids were all born in the 1990's, so like you golden, not a case of 'hysteria' because of the MM events here, but instead a case of just feeling of not wanting to take the risk for something so non essential as a few drinks.

Kids are little for such a short while. It's a privilage to raise a child. 3/4 years of your life curtailing evening social activities a bit in the name of keeping your child secure and happy is no big sacrifice surely? I survived it OK.

[Jan49]

My ds was a teenager when Madeleine McCann disappeared so obviously it didn't influence what we did when he was little. I had never considered leaving him alone in a hotel bedroom when he was asleep. One of us would always stay in the room. I'm not sure whether I was most concerned about him waking or wandering or strangers or whatever, but it would never occur to me to do anything except stay with him. In your own home you remained in the house and in a hotel or B & B you remained in the room. It's part of what you do when you're a parent IMO.

When my ds was 8, someone booked us 2 twin rooms in a B & B instead of a family room and they assumed that our ds would sleep in one room and we'd sleep in the other. We considered it but decided he might wake and not know how to find the toilet as it wasn't in the room or might get lost getting back from the toilet or might call us and we wouldn't hear him and we couldn't leave the bedroom doors open due to strangers staying. So I slept in the room with him and his dad in the other room.

[Jan49]

Sorry that last sentence isn't clear. I slept in the room with our ds. His dad slept in the other room. So we didn't let ds sleep in a room on his own in a B & B.

[TiredFeet]

yanbu.

I grew up in a very large family house but this is totally different from even a small hotel. my parents knew who was in the house and we knew where we were, etc. in a hotel you have no idea who else might have a key and what else might be going on in the building

this is why since having DS we no longer stay in hotels, and do self catering instead. we have found some lovely cottages where you can buy in really nice home made meals from the farm house. or we do self catering in a big house as part of a big family group / group of friends so we can still socialise in the evenings.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Wouldn't bother me at all if it was close enough. Really wouldn't consider that a random weirdo would molest them. It just wouldn't happen. It particularly wouldn't happen if you had a baby monitor and could hear everything.

[ChocsAwayInMyGob]

I wouldn't do it.

Nothing to do with perceived paedo paranoia. It's more to do with things like what if they fall off the bed? or fall over on the hard bathroom floor? or wake up scared thinking they've been abandoned? or pull on the kettle lead? or hurt themselves? Unlike their bedrooms at home, hotel rooms have not usually been babyproofed.

I couldn't enjoy a meal or a drink knowing that.

Face it, when you have kids, there are a few short years where they come before your need for a meal or a drink in a hotel bar.

[MortifiedAdams]

Those who are saying that the hotel room is closer than their bedroom at home......do you usually have 200 strangerd wandering around your home, some.of which have keys that allow them directly into the bedroom?

yanbu. It shouldnt be done.

If we can afford to stay in a hotel room, we pay the upgrade to a suite.

[ChocsAwayInMyGob]

Really wouldn't consider that a random weirdo would molest them. It just wouldn't happen. It particularly wouldn't happen if you had a baby monitor and could hear everything.

It's not just about " a weirdo" it's about safety in general. And anyway, who says a baby monitor is a guarantee of safety?

[beals692]

When I was about 2, my parents left me in the hotel room while they went down to the hotel restaurant. I managed to flood the place in their absence

[phantomnamechanger]

LFC - for goodness sake, random weirdos is not what its about. There are numerous reasons mentioned on here already why it is selfish and irresponsible to leave kids in hotel bedrooms. It is an unnecessary RISK - ok, so take that risk if you want, but don't say there is no risk.

and before folk start saying even a car ride or crossing the road is a risk, yes they are, but they are managed risks with the parents looking after the child, not leaving them to do it on their own and out of sight and earshot.

[mumofthemonsters808]

No, never.

[McNewPants2013]

What if the baby monitor fails.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Actually 'random weirdo' is the main reason given so far.

If you have a baby monitor and can hear them breathing or turning over and you're as close as you would be at home then it's as good as it gets.

Whole different kettle of fish if its a different building, if you have no baby monitor, and there's no fire alarms.

[curlew]

Actually, I don't think anyone has said what all these dangers are. People have talked a lot about people you don't know walking around the hotel, some with keys. If the concern is not "random weirdos" what is it?

[TerraNotSoFirma]

I did.
Run over. Taken. Fell in a river.

[curlew]

You'd hear them waking up on the monitor and you'd be there within seconds of them falling out of bed or falling on the bathroom floor- just as you would at home. And presumably you've had a quick scout round and locked anything potentially dangerous in the wardrobe?

[catgirl1976]

It just doesn't feel like responsible parenting. It doesn't require a statistical analysis of what the risks are and how likely they are to occur. It just feels wrong, therefore I wouldn't do it.

DS would probably, statistically be ok to do a carefully calibrated for toddlers bungee jump. I still wouldn't be comfortable watching him hurl himself off a bridge.

[curlew]

Well. Nobody's forcing you to do it, obviously.

But not wanting to do it yourself, while understanding that your motives are irrational (nowt wrong with that- loads of the things we do as parents are irrational) is one thing. Saying that other people who do it are putting their children in danger is quite another.

[HarumScarum]

I would do this IF the child was old enough and responsible enough to come and get me if there was a problem. So not babies, not toddlers and not even small children. About ten years old? I don't know, I only have a six year old and wouldn't dream of leaving her alone in a strange place. She'd be distraught if she woke up and nobody was there. Unlikely, but people do sleep worse in unfamiliar surrounding.

[Ragwort]

I'm surprised that the consensus is overwhelmingly against. I thought it would be more of an even split. - I think those of us who have left our babies in hotel rooms wouldn't mention it on this thread because of the flaming .

I have done it, even without a monitor - one of us checked every 20 minutes or so, it was fine.

We all make a 'risk assessment' about every aspect of our life - yes, there is a very, very small risk of a fire or 'random weirdo' but to me that risk is incredibly small.