My sister is in a complex situation. I'm supporting her and think she's right, but unsure if I'm being blinded by sisterly loyalty so would appreciate opinions.
Her DP has 3 children aged 6,5 and 3 with his ex. Sis and DP have one child of their own who is one plus sis has a 6 year old from previous marriage. When she met her DP, he had his children loads and they got on very well with my niece after initial teething problems when they were nasty to my dn - biting, pushing etc and blaming her for taking their daddy away. Her DPs ex stopped contact for a trivial reason 2 years ago. Her mother was helping her care for them but now she's ill and so Bils ex has contacted him to offer contact. He is planning to take it up and thinks they'll pick up where they left off and be one big happy family. However sis thinks certainly the youngest will have problems remembering him, the older two will be even more bitter and that he needs to see them alone and work on their relationship. My niece was distraught when contact stopped, sis doesn't want her to go through losing them again if bils ex stops contact again once her mum is better. Sis had told DP he should get a court order so it's more secure for the children and until that time, she doesn't want dn to see them. Their own child is only one and bils half sibling so him meeting them is different but sis says she will protect him from upset too when older. Are sis and I being unreasonable or is bil? Honesty appreciated.