What would you do?

[21stCenturyDropout]

Dd (5) has been invited to a birthday party for a school friend. The mother of the child is a newish friend of mine too.
The dilemma is, it happens to clash with her cousin's birthday party!
She has not had the opportunity to go to many parties yet and I think she would enjoy it, as it is going to be quite a small do, and more her cup of tea. In contrast the other party is likely to be more kids, lots of noise, etc. (soft play)
Also I would rather go to socialise with my friend too!
(Incidentally, we kept Dd's party for just school friends and had a separate family do, so said cousin only came to family do)
I think my sil is going to be mightily pissed off though if we don't go..

If you've already accepted the other invite then I think it's quite rude to now ditch their party because you've had a better offer.

Hmmmmm, not sure if it's worth mightily pissing off your SIL.

If you've already accepted an invite you should decline any subsequent ones that clash. Also which party you personally would prefer is irrelevant.

what whonicked said- but if cousins invitation came second, its tough and DD can go to friends party and SIL will have to live with it- her child is not the centre of the universe!

Oh no, whonicked, I haven't committed to either yet. I have not had an invitation for cousin's party. I was honest with my friend though and said I will confirm either way soon. I just wondered what people thought.

Squoosh, I don't know, actually it might be quite amusing (evil cackle)

Go to the school friend one, it will help her bond with school mates, very important, you can go to SIL from there.

Explain the dilemma. Family can be flexible, especially if numbers are small.

Plus it actually extends the cousin's birthday celebrations doesn't it?

Not a formal invite anyway. Just a day marked on calendar. Oh dear I suppose it should be the family one really. poo.

Hissy, that's the problem though. The party is not continuing at their house afterwards.

if my sil and kids ditched my childs party for a better offer when I make an effort for her kids every year you are damn straight the whole family would know I was pissed off and I wouldnt make an effort again.

I am very angry in general though

and I actually hate my sil so would be looking for an excuse lol

It depends if you've already told your SIL your dd would be going to her cousins party. If you have, then she has to go to that, but otherwise I'd let dd decide which party she wants to go to.

When we've had a birthday party clash, we've always honored the one we accepted first.
But if it's a special friend we've had to decline, we then invite that child for tea at our house another day and make it into a little birthday tea with balloons and cake.

Go the next day, or the day before.

As long as the school invite came first...

If not, give the school girl a small gift, and you'll have to go to the cousin's one.

Seriously, i'd not be pissed off if my niece/nephew couldn't come due to prior arrangement, we'd make another playdate day! Give my child another date to look forward to!

You're turning one invite down to keep yourself free for an invite you haven't actually had yet?