to wonder why ppl are so interested in how others parent

[babyhmummy01]

What happened to each to their own and do what you feel is best.

I have read threads on here about one parenting style or another and have found ppl in rl asking about how I intend to parent my bean when she is born

Wtaf is it about and why is it anyone else's business?!

Because in my fuckwittery I need all the help I can get. I might learn a few tricks.

I get the asking for advice. It's the one team shouting down the other ans vice versa that I don't get.

Surely if you try something & it works for you then brill but don't force it down everyone elses throat just because you don't agree with an alternative

Most people in RL seem to bumble along, much like myself, getting help from friends and family and doing the best they can.

I have not once had an actual conversation and mentioned someone's 'parenting style'

Oh, I almost never ask for advice. They shout at me too. But lurking is sometimes helpful.

It's smuggery I can't stand. "I never had your problems so you must be shit parent of the year" attitude.

Because everyone has their own view on what is best so by default anyone else is 'wrong' and must be corrected?

or

Because the children are the future...teach them well and let them lead the way...

Does anyone have a parenting style? I just deal with stuff as it happens. I don't really have any top ten strategies. So much happens that you don't really know how you will deal with it till it does. I think when your kids are little much of how you parent is dictated by whether you return to work. I was a sahm so bedtime was a bit fast and loose. My far more organized working friends did not have that luxury.

I like hearing about what other people do. I learn new things to try that way. I don't like the passive aggressive type comments some people make about parenting though (and the more actual aggressive ones!) and just try to ignore it.

The only person in real life that I know who mentions patenting styles is my mother when telling me mine is crap (it's not, he's still alive, isn't he?) and my SIL's is perfect.

I just laugh at her.

I have had loads of ppl in rl beratee for

wanting to ff, I have medical issues and meds mean bf is put of question

For using disposable rather than real nappies (that has been on here too)

For believing it is important that kids understand right from wring and the word no

Action having consequences - according to mil I am a complete bitch for this one

Believing that 9pm is too late for 7 yo dsd to be up esp on a school night (mil again)

Wanting to have quality time with kids that isn't centred around a bloody computer

Not sitting in with kids until they are asleep, my friend refuses to do anything in an evening until dd is asleep and lays in bed with her 4 yo until she is asleep. I find it insane but would never dream of telling her bit she insists on telling me at EVERY opportunity that if I don't do this I am neglecting my child.

Maybe I am just finding first time mum thing a bit daunting but it seems everyone has an opinion that is 100% right and needs to be rammed down my throat

I imagine it comes from the idea that if you don't agree to do what the other person is suggesting, then you are implying that what they are doing is wrong. Everyone is so terrified that they are damaging their children for all times by not establishing the correct feeding/sleeping/activity habits, they get ultra-defensive about being criticised.

I blame the entire thing on the advent of all these blasted "help" books and TV shows about raising kids. They immediately send out the message that a)you don't know what you're doing unless you read/watch them and b)that there is a single right way to raise all the multitudes of children in the world.

It's all utter crap!

squitten but why do we have to agree or disagree? Why do ppl feel the need to comment at all? But I think u have a point about the bloody books and things like "supernanny"

It is insecurity- they want their way to be the way- if you are different it worries them.

There is no need to discuss,explain or justify- smile,
nod and change the subject.