to expect DH to clean the bloody shower and do his share of housework!

[oreocookiez]

DH sees housework as my job, we both work full time so why is it that my free time and days off are spent cleaning, shopping, paying bills and doing Laundry? Its really grating on me; he complains he is so tired from a long day and I think to myself and Im not? We moved in december and simce then he has never cleaned the
bathroom, shower room or picked up a
duster..... I feel like a servant.

OK.

Just stop doing it all.

(If if & if you can step back for long enough, then eventually he will pick up his share. You just need to hold your ground.)

Sorry. I made it sound easy. It is not. There needs to be conversation about it also.

It is completely effing annoying.

The stopping doing it thing only works if mess annoys your DH though. If it does, go for it. If it doesn't then he'll just not notice and still won't do anything. For a while DH and I had separate flats due to working in different cities. He never cleaned his, ever. He ate from paper plates eventually and would go for weeks without changing the sheets and I don't think he ever vacuumed. He's much better now though and even cleans the toilet , so miracles can happen.

Know exactly how you feel! Am currently refusing to change the bed sheets. I work on-call nights so sleep at work and because of a restructure am on 15th of 18 nights in a row so am not using the bedding at home. It was already 4 days old when I started so is getting very aromatic, not sure if dp has even noticed. I also work during the day and do all school drop offs, and all after school time, leaving me no time to run round making dp's life comfortable and fragrant.

Have you spoken to him about it at all? You need to point out to him, firmly, that you are not his servant and that his share of domestic work is the amount that means both of you have the same amount of leisure time.

He may be just being thoughtless, in which case he will apologise and the two of you can divide up the domestic work between you. Or he may genuinely think that housework is done by women and that you, as you don't have a penis, are his servant. If that does turn out to be his attitude, I advise you to leave him. It definitely is bad enough to leave a marriage over - how can you love and respect someone who considers you his inferior?

Lol at the paper plates iama !! Thing is he is a soldier and will spend a friggin hour polishing his boots. He can iron better than most of us.... Steps over the mess, moans the DC's dont do enough to help. What planet are you on I think... What about cleaning your pubic hairs
From the shower you skanky Muppet! Grrrrrr

Get him to pay for a cleaner or start doing his share!

If you are both working fulltime, then YANBU. Go in strike. Don't announce it, just don't do more than you want to.

There's no way that I could live with a man with such a disdainful attitude towards me. Or one so lacking in self-respect that he couldn't clean up after himself to make his living space habitable and comfortable. But it's up to you what you do about it. If you find it tolerable then keeping cleaning ... you have kids so I find it hard to imagine that this is a new issue.