I'm I asking too much from my partner to help with keeping the house clean and tidy?!
I know he works full time, but I also work 3 days a week and 2 of them days I work late shifts, all I ask is can tea be either kept for me! Ill heat it up when I get in, yet when I come home from work there is nothing because either my mum who watches my little one on one of the days has made them something or given them something to take away and make so he doesn't need to cook from scratch and I am great full for my mum doing this but he leaves me nothing! Then when I come in and ask and he says oh there is some left its not even enough for my 3 yr old to eat as he has eaten it and left me as I can only describe as scraps! And he moans when I say that it isn't enough! I have had it for the past month 2 days a week I have had nothing and he says I'm selfish! He thinks I should cook before work so he just needs to heat it up for him and my little one but if I'm honest I have no blooming time! I have house work to do get myself and little boy ready for the day then head out to child minders drop him off and go straight to work! I thought I was being nasty when I said no I won't be cooking during the day as I don't have time, and he says its no different to being home on my days off!
When I'm off it doesn't matter if I am in my mummy clothes no make up hair a mess, aslong as my sons dressed and ready ill look like a slob and I get the things sorted and tea made etc but it just hurts when I do all this for him so he has tea for finishing work and he can't even make a meal up for me twice a week!
I'm I being selfish for expecting him too?!
Also he moans about the house being a mess and toys everywhere and the washing needing done but will never ever help me out! I get one day a week with him and my son as a family and I don't want to be spending it cleaning the house id like it all to be done before then, we use to take turns about, one would bed our little one and the other would clean up the downstairs and it was great but now he doesn't bed our son I do and that's fine I love that, but he isn't doing the downstairs so after a long busy day for the pair of us and most of the time me running round trying to get housework/washing done before 12 so I can spend the rest of the day with my little one he wants me to do dinner dishes and tidy up! I'm exhausted! I really am! I don't want to be coming down the stairs at 10.30 to do housework! (My son takes a while to fall asleep and plays up a lot when I'm bedding him) its making me not like him very much! The thing is my son goes to bed perfectly for him an it only takes him half n hour so when I say why don't you bed him and ill tidy up its a no he will only ask for you (cos I'm a soft touch with my son) he doesn't understand my frustration! And says I'm selfish and he works full time and its not his mess!
I try and get as much done as possible on my days off when I do and I feel great cos its all done he comes in and says well I hope you keep on top of it now! It will be easier for you, I'm so fed up with it, I don't want to sound like a selfish person but I have had it! I don't get a night off it weekends away cos I have my son and I wouldn't change it for the world cos I love spending every min with him! Bit when his dad can just say I'm away on a work night out bye I'm like well nothing like telling me! He acts like he doesn't have a child and still does as he please I mention about going out to local pub and his reply was "how you gonna afford that" not have a great night go enjoy yourself, so I didn't go but the he says I will neer stop you doing what you want! Thing is I don't want to go out drinking I'd love a night in hot bubble bath a good book and just some me time, not worrying about housework/washing/dishes but it never happens!
I'm I being unreasonable? Should I back off him cos he works or I'm I right in wanting him to help?
Ps it's causing some arguments now! Any advice would be great thanks :)