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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have walked out on husband and 22 yrs of marriage

11 replies

MrsPatrickDempsey · 04/07/2013 22:41

I don't know what to do.

He said I am a crap mum and that I am not affectionate enough. I do everything for my children - always put them first. I hate him so much for saying that. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 04/07/2013 22:46

It sounds like there is no going back from that, but maybe you have both been drinking and it is not as bad as it seems right now. Maybe come back in the morning and have a look at what you have posted.

Tortington · 04/07/2013 22:46

is that all?

fuck! DH and i would have split daily on that basis

hiddenhome · 04/07/2013 22:48

What he means is that you're a crap mum to him, apart from you're not his mum and he really needs to grow up.

aldiwhore · 04/07/2013 22:50

Take time to calm down.

What did you fling at him? Did the comments come out of the blue?

DH and I had a row recently where really horrible rage induced things were said on either side, it was very out of character for both of us. I am hurt, he is hurt. We're in that 'civil' but unapologetic phase at present, we need time to heal.

Is it a good marriage generally? If so, you have flounced out of hurt. That is understandable.

Is it a bad marriage generally? If so, maybe this is the straw that breaks the back.

Where are the children?

Try to calm down and think clearly and think where you need to be.

Original poster

MrsPatrickDempsey · 04/07/2013 22:51

No drink - he had been at work. Came in at nine. I ranted about a hard day with the kids and he threw that back at me.

OP posts:

littlewhitebag · 04/07/2013 22:54

You need to chill. You both had a bad day. It doesn't sound like the end of a marriage, more like a normal spat.

He had a long day at work you had a shit day with the kids. It happens.

Kiss and make up now.

How old are your kids btw?

Original poster

MrsPatrickDempsey · 04/07/2013 22:55

11 & 7 - I need to be there for them - not him.

OP posts:

littlewhitebag · 04/07/2013 23:01

You need to be there for your kids that is for sure, but surely as his wife you need to be there for DH too? Your kids are not tiny tots who need you to do everyhing for them. What is it he was unhappy about?

daisychain01 · 04/07/2013 23:05

Dont let the sun go down on an argument. You are both tired ... fatigue and the grind of everyday life does awful things. All will be fine tomorrow is another day xx

AlbertoFrog · 04/07/2013 23:13

I don't think it's all about this one comment is it? I mean, surely to consider walking out on a 22 year marriage there has to be much more to it?

Not that I'm suggesting it's not a horrible, insensitive, cruel thing to say.

How are things between you normally?

HildaOgden · 04/07/2013 23:45

Are you affectionate,or do you spend all your time doing stuff for them?Has he hit a nerve?

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