To not give my ex my spare digital radio?

[sunpanda]

My ex came round tonight to help put our 2 year old DD to bed. He actually did fuck all, would'nt run her bath or help bathe her, dry her, wash the bottle for bed. He only boiled the kettle and made the bottle using formula. Sat in my living room on my laptop looking at bands he had seen at glastonbury over the weekend... He said that he was too tired and still feeling "emotional" after coming back from Glastonbury to help out.

Anyway, he starts talking about how out of touch he is with new music and wanted my spare digital radio so he can listen to 6music. I was annoyed at him for being so lazy this evening (which is quite typical when he comes to put DD to bed). It was also my birthday last week and he did'nt even mention it, no text message or anything. He asked me a few days before the day when it was, and I still have my birthday cards around the house so he has no excuse. At first I told him he could have it, then realised that I did'nt want him to have it and he went nuts. Glaring at me, saying "you are not fucking serious" before storming out in a massive huff. He asked me why I can't just be "nice".

I think I know I am NBU, its my radio I can do what I want with it right? But his attitude stinks does'nt it?

One of the key words in this seems to be 'EX'
And why are you getting all worked up that he forgot your birthday?
The pair of you seem to be overlooking the quite key fact that you are not a couple...

He's a bloody useless article, isn't he? I don't blame you.

Perhaps forget about having him in your house and have him have contact with her elsewhere? In a contact centre until he grows the fuck up, maybe?

Stop the coming round every night thing for a start.

Access on a weekend & holidays, frequency to be decided between both of you.

If you are not a couple, why be upset about your birthday?

I think that, as she is 2, he could look after her, alone, for a few hours. So, he could come and pick her up, at the door at, say, midday, and bring her back at 5:00?

You could be pleasant, but would have no need to invite him in.

Depending on his living arrangements, he could build up to having her overnight sometimes.

And you could move on with your life.

Regarding my birthday, I suppose just a text or a verbal acknowledgment would have been nice. I was'nt expecting a present or anything. I suppose I thought it was a bit rich of him to expect me to give him my stuff or that he tells me I should be nice when he does not do the same for me. I'm also annoyed that he does not pull his weight regarding childcare. He comes to mine in the evenings (not every night mind) to put DD to bed because he won't have her stay at his but still wants as much access as possible. I find the situation really irritating because his line of argument is always he won't help with anything at mine because its not his house, yet won't find himself somewhere to stay where DD can make a massive mess or whatever where he will need to do all the work.

YANBU he is not pulling his weight as a co-parent. Show him the posts....perhaps he has no concept of his ineptitude. Here's some for your birthday.