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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you don't go door to door asking for sponsorship money from strangers?

26 replies

VulvaVoom · 04/07/2013 19:52

Maybe I live in a parallel universe or perhaps I'm just a very cynical, untrusting person anyway, I'll let you all decide!

Earlier on while I was on the phone, DH answered the door to a total stranger (I could see it was 2 women, one about 35-40, one about 20, the older one was at the door and did the talking) as far as I know they aren't neighbours of ours - I didn't recognise them.

They proceeded to ask DH of he would sponsor them for the Race for Life. He (understandably) felt he couldn't say no, so he sponsored her and she said she'd be back for the money later.

I got off the phone and was shocked. Don't you generally just ask friends, family and colleagues to sponsor you? And couldn't they just be pocketing the money?

I thought it was a bit of a cheek to be honest cue loads of Mnetters telling me they've done this and I do live in a parallel universe

OP posts:
apollo1234 · 04/07/2013 19:59

I think kids do this sometimes which you can kind of understand, but grown ups doing it is odd. If you sponsor someone you don't know they could just pocket the money for all you know.

cozietoesie · 04/07/2013 20:00

It clearly works for them, though. Your DH agreed.

GoldenGytha · 04/07/2013 20:02

I once had a foreign student at my door, explaining that he was new to the UK, had no money and would I please help fund his studies Shock

I declined.

Original poster
VulvaVoom · 04/07/2013 20:03

Agree Apollo, a few years back came a neighbours DC of about 10 came over with the mum to ask for money for a sponsored swim - which felt fine, but this, well, odd.

Having said that my typical English reserve would have probably meant I just sponsored the women too, though I'd like to think I would have asked a few questions, who knows Confused

OP posts:
PoppyWearer · 04/07/2013 20:03

Children do it on our road, but we all know each other.

Asking strangers is weird though.

CloudsAndTrees · 04/07/2013 20:03

Sorry, I think that's quite funny!

But YANBU. I could understand local children doing it, or at a push an adult doing it if they were self funding a walk round the entire country or something, but an adult doing it for race for life? Crazy world.

Original poster
VulvaVoom · 04/07/2013 20:05

Cozie yup he did. Said he's going to leave the money with me for them to pick up, perhaps I should ask some questions then? Or give the money to someone I know is bloody doing it! Grin

OP posts:
hermioneweasley · 04/07/2013 20:07

Why is it understandable that he felt he couldn't say no?

I would have looked puzzled and sent them on their way!

Original poster
VulvaVoom · 04/07/2013 20:08

Forgot to add, they had the forms and stuff but any old Tom, Dick or Harry can get hold of them can't they.

I'm feeling a bit cross about it now. Giving to Cancer charities is not something I'm adverse to normally! (my DBro had Leukaemia when he was 16)

OP posts:
captainmummy · 04/07/2013 20:10

I had someone last year knock on the door looking for sponsorship for a parachute jump for 'help for heroes' - most of my neighbours had signed up even tho he wasn't from round here. I signed up for a couple quid and he came back a few weeks later for the money.

A month or so later I saw in the local paper a scammer had been arrested for taking money for help for heroes and pocketing it.

Sick. never again.

cozietoesie · 04/07/2013 20:11

Maybe they're doing it for the umptieth time, family and friends/colleagues have stopped contributing and one of them had the idea of doing the rounds.

I think I'd ask a few questions before handing over any cash. The way they're doing it is tantamount to having a charity collector on your doorstep and I think they're supposed to have official id etc. (Could be wrong on that but others will know.)

hermioneweasley · 04/07/2013 20:12

I don't think the sponsorship form really obliges you to pay the money. When they come round i would say "we've been warned about scammers locally and so we've given the money direct". What are they going to do?

apollo1234 · 04/07/2013 20:13

To be honest I'd say its more likely than not to be a scam. Charity is a scammers best friend.

cozietoesie · 04/07/2013 20:15

There's a Race For Life website that you can pay into directly isn't there Hermione? (With Gift Aid.)

NicknameIncomplete · 04/07/2013 21:02

When we were growing up our school
used to send out a letter along with a sponsor form telling parents to not let their children go knocking on peoples door that they didnt know.

NandH · 04/07/2013 21:09

Ermmm, don't give them the money when they come round! What an odd thing to do, ask strangers that is! Just explain what someone up thread has said about being warned about scammers and that you'd rather pay direct!!

Pixel · 04/07/2013 21:13

When I did Race for Life it got a bit ridiculous as everyone I could possibly ask to sponsor me seemed to be doing it too. We ended up sponsoring each other! I didn't do it last time because it's got to the stage where there are so many sponsored things at dcs schools etc, I don't feel able to ask neighbours/relatives etc any more.
Asking complete strangers would feel very wrong.

wouldliketobethere · 04/07/2013 21:15

Just don't give cash. Do you have a cheque book. If you make the cheque out to Race for Life or the Cancer Charity they say they are supporting then hopefully they cant pocket it for themselves. if they wont take a cheque then say sorry you cant help them.

If you don't have a cheque book ask for their address and say you will post it to them and see if you can get a cheque from the bank or whatever.

Kittywildmoor · 30/09/2013 20:23

I just had a visit from a 'neighbour' asking me to sponsor her to run a 10k for a local person with breast cancer. She seemed very credible although as I am house sitting I have no idea if she really is local. When I said I would prefer to make a donation directly to breast cancer research she got a little rattled as that woud mean she 'wouldn't have the money' and 'wouldn't be able to write me down on her list'. Too bad. Sounded well dodgy to me. Perhaps sadly I think the days of door to door collection are well and truly over, but with the Internet at least you know your money is going where you want it to.

Turniptwirl · 30/09/2013 20:26

Neighbours that you know is ok. Children asking strangers is semi okay. Adults asking strangers is just weird. I would've said no sorry

Tabby1963 · 30/09/2013 21:09

I won't give any money, sponsorship, direct debit to any stranger knocking on my door. Let's face it, we wouldn't go knocking on strangers doors asking for money, would we? It's just weird.

DeWe · 30/09/2013 21:42

When they come back explain you have already donated it on just giving. If you feel generous then you can do just that.
Don't give them cash.

foslady · 30/09/2013 21:58

Didn't think you legally can knock on strangers doors for sponsorship money, can you?

foslady · 30/09/2013 22:05

Can't find the link, but have copied this from a search engine but yes, you do need a permit

Sponsorship Form - Family Fund
www.familyfund.org.uk/sites/default/files/FF_Sponsorship_Form.pdf?
Sponsorship Form. Please do not collect money door to door. This is illegal without a licence. Date donation given to Family Fund: / /. Full name. Home address.

wendycraigsmini · 30/09/2013 22:19

Very odd, downright brazen and dare I say suspicious Just say 'I only sponsor friends and family, but I'll cheer you on at the run, good luck' and leave it at that.

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