To want to take a week's holiday?

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

I know in advance that most people will say IANBU, but I'm really struggling with the idea of taking a week off in the near future and I'm hoping you can help me.

I'm self-employed. I haven't taken a day off since I started my business in January. Before I had many clients, I spent every spare hour distributing leaflets. I usually work four days a week, with Mondays being for one-off cleans, so sometimes five days. I can do three houses a day (6-8 hours, leaving time to drive around and eat lunch, etc.) I have space in my schedule for maybe three or four more clients a week.

I should be spending spare Mondays and Tuesdays distributing leaflets to fill up my remaining slots. But, I'm really feeling very tired and burnt out. I'm not enjoying the work and I am feeling quite negative about myself and the work I do.

I would like to take a holiday and get a little time away by myself, even if it's just camping nearby or something in August when my husband will (hopefully) be back with us all the time.

Anyway, I feel really funny about taking time off. I feel like it's decadent to rest. Americans don't really get vacations - not mandated by law, and you often have to have a certain white collar level and have been there for a length of time to get two weeks off paid, and even so Americans rarely take the days they are allowed.

Also, I am terrified at the thought of telling clients that I will not be available for them. I would hate to inconvenience them. It would be great if I could time my holidays to coincide with theirs, but since they don't all go on holiday at the same time, that's not going to work.

I have this stupid idea that a virtuous person is a hard worker and a hard worker is focused on customer satisfaction and puts their job first.

Help me!

Is there some financial reason for not taking a holiday? If you can afford it, it's a no-brainer for me. Without a break, you'll burn yourself out! Everyone should have a holiday.

Are you American and working in America then?

Richard Branson takes a week off every 4-6 weeks I have heard. So I'm sure if he can do it, you can manage 5 days off in a year?

If you are burnt out now after only 6 months in your job, how will you feel by December? What is your plan if you are struck down by sickness or have an accident?

Perhaps you can find someone in the business also and arrange cover for each other?

why are you feeling negative about the work you do? do you not feel valued? is this making you feel how you do about holidays?

Are you American - is that why you consider it 'odd' to have a holiday?

Of course you should take a holiday,just let your clients know in advance - it is totally reasonable. Out of interest what happens when your clients are on holiday, do you still go in and clean for them or do you have enforced (unpaid?) time off?

You're in the UK now I take it? Well, your clients will expect you to take a holiday - the important thing is to give them decent warning. So not telling them a day or so before, but a couple of weeks before so they know and can plan accordingly.

You need a break, even if you're just staying at home, when your time is your own and you can relax. Do it!

So long as you give your customers sufficient notice that I'll be away, I don't see a problem as you can all work round it.

They will surely understand that if they do business with a one person business, there will be times that you're unavailble for holiday, sickness etc.

I'm American living in the UK.

Getting someone else to cover for me is not feasible.

SSD, I do think that my negative feelings about work influence how I feel about deserving a holiday.

I have this idea, also, that maybe I should get my schedule full and then, after all clients, including the new ones, have had a few months of uninterrupted, flawless service, then taking a week off would be OK. But, I can't really see getting a full schedule in my current state of mind.

Four weeks off a year seems excessive to me. At the very least, financially. I was thinking of two weeks off - the first week of summer school holidays and the week of Christmas to New Year's. The first week of summer holidays is approaching.

My husband is a bit of a workaholic and sometimes has to be urged to take holidays. I am pretty sure he leaves a lot of days on the table as it is, and he's salaried. I know if he were self-employed, he would never take a day off. I'm thinking he may grumble about the interruption of income.

Some clients have me come in when they're on holiday. Many others just tell me not to come. It's slightly annoying but their prerogative. They are customers, not employers.

I have to go away, even if just for a day at a time, because if I stay home I'll just be doing housework and other chores I "should" be doing. I can't afford to do much.

Did you not talk about holidays etc with your clients when you first set up? I have to admit I didn't think about it until it was too late, and the first summer was spent frantically fitting in time with the children between clients who I didn't want to lose but had no comprehension of school holidays. We're much better organised now!

I do love walking my client's dogs - not quite so much in howling icy wind , but even though the weather's so much better I'm still looking forward to NOT having the responsibility for a couple of weeks soon.

My cleaner is off to Poland for a month. Good for her!

About half my clients are fortnightly and half are weekly (plus a couple of monthly). I have maybe two weekly slots and two fortnightly slots left. I can clean twelve homes a week over four days, plus the occasional Monday. I have had a couple of clients leave me (selling house, made redundant at work) and I have dropped one client who was very unpleasant to deal with. My husband was not happy about that and my MIL makes comments, too, about how I'm "not managing to hold on to clients." I have one more that is just not going well, partly because they're idiots, partly because I've screwed a couple of things up. I almost wish they'd fire me so I could just start over with someone who is thrilled with my cleaning. (It's funny how some people are thrilled with anything and others are very demanding.)

No, I haven't talked about holidays. Thinking about them doesn't come naturally to me. I probably have this idea that of course I will be there for my clients when they need me, full stop, and put thoughts of holidays out of my mind. That needs to change.

re interruption of income...

You HAVE to think of your income annually. Don't just multiply an average week's earning by 52 and assume that's what you get per annum. What with bank holidays and either you or a child going off sick you really should multiply by 48 to be on the safe side, and that's before adding in family holiday time. I multiply by 45 when I'm budgeting ahead.

Katy it sounds as if you need some perspective. Of course you deserve a holiday. Your clients will expect you to be away sometimes, holiday time is just as important as work time even if you don't go away.

And tell your mil to get stuffed.

Lose the crap client. Is it your husband and MIL who has to put up with them? No! It's none of their business. If it makes it easier for you, come up with a story to explain why you're no longer supplying service to them. Although I'd tell the truth. Your MIL can start criticising when she starts coming round with you with a mop and bucket of her own!

You have every right to take a holiday and if you don't you will burn out. Is that what your husband wants?
Let him grumble, surely he'll see how good it is for you when you come back from holiday rested and happier?

As DeepRedBetty says, it's quite literally not their business who your clients are. It's your business and you run it how you see fit, including having decent terms for your staff (you!).

Do you go into your DH's work or your MIL's and tell them how to do it?

Why on earth is your MIL interfering with your business arrangements ? There is absolutely no need for her to know the details of how many clients you have and when you work for them - and your DH doesn't sound at all supportive. Sounds like you have more problems than just needing a holiday .

Katy was it you who wanted to go to a festival by yourself? In AIBU?Fairly heavy rock? And I was pulling your leg saying YANBU to want to be by yourself but VVVU to want to listen to that crap?

Apologies if I've got completely the wrong MNetter!

That was me, Betty! I want to go see Slayer at Bloodstock. But, I realised that it will conflict with two monthly clients.

My husband is not non supportive. I'm just sort of afraid to broach the subject of taking a week off. He hasn't had a break in months due to things at work and when he gets here, he's half hoping he can relax a bit, himself. He's feeling very lucky to have a job at all right now and doesn't want to rock the boat, so I don't think he's up for discussion of my taking a break. Plus, I think he's currently counting on the money while we're paying two rents. So, I can understand.

I got rid of the problem client because she smells terrible. I made up some excuse about the schedule and ducked her calls. DH not impressed.

I want to ditch the new problem client but they haven't done anything really wrong. I just feel like I got off on the wrong foot. First, I focused on the wrong things, leaving a windowsill dusty because I spent a half hour cleaning gunk out of shower tracks. To them they saw it as sheer laziness and carelessness. Then I left too much water on a laminate floor. Then, I did something unpardonable: I forgot to lock the front door. People I know who have cleaning companies with employees consider this an automatic firing offense. No excuses. So, I am feeling very, very shit about myself. It's not helped by them leaving the house messy and sometimes forgetting to leave the money out. I called and they told me where to find cash, but it was annoying. And, I know their previous cleaning lady quit over the mess and once sent a shirty text about forgotten money. I just think it's off to a bad start and I would like to return the key, apologise, and forget they exist.

My husband has no qualifications but is very handy with computers and is an expert in a particular luxury product. We moved to the Highlands for a great job combining the two things. Last autumn the owner decided to sell up and retire. I moved here for childcare and work. He stayed behind to make money while he still could, convinced he'd never get a job paying well down here. Then, they were bought by a chain who are opening a branch in Manchester. They like him so much, he can transfer, but there are delays with the branch due to listed building issues. He's now at their heads office. They said he could work four day weeks and come home for weekends, but he's afraid to ask for them. And, he had to fill in for a sick employee and is now owed a month's holiday, but, again, won't rock the boat by asking for time off.

He's just in limbo.

Sorry about Slayer! Is there no way you can reschedule the two monthly clients?

I do understand why your husband doesn't want to take risks in the current climate, but I can't help thinking you're both heading for a bit of a crash at this rate.

Now, the new problem client. They should have agreed with you what the priorities are at the beginning. Then you wouldn't have spent time doing a job they perceived as unnecessary. The laminate floor - well, that was inexperience from you.

I've once left a client's door open. Back door, not front, thankfully. They never booked me again, strangely enough... Like you I was mortified with myself. I now carry the keys in a way which makes it very difficult to forget to do things like lock up again, and have a checklist I recite as I enter and leave etc.

Life's too short to put up with other people's crap. Just tell them that unfortunately due to a change in family circumstances you will be unable to continue to service their home after next week.

And you could use the time slot to do the two clients that are messing up Slayer, and go after all!

Katy you sound super stressed.

If you think you can salvage the relationship with the dodgy client then apologise, offer to give a free clean and ask them to transfer the money into your bank account on a weekly standing order going forward.

Otherwise ditch them. Surely working for yourself means you don't have to take crap. Ask the people who are happy with you to recommend you to their friends. A good cleaner is a god send and many are passed around in conversational recommendations.

My cleaner in the UK used to plan her holiday around her clients holiday if she could. There is no point paying for two weeks clean if you are away for a fortnight - most people want a clean before they return.

Ask yourself why you are forgetting to lock doors and missing surfaces (as you sound generally very concerned about your high standards) - it's because you are stressed!

A few years ago I was in a management role and working 10 hour days in the office, my son was 2 and in a nursery for nearly 12 hours a day and my husband was away in the forces. After two years of just coping at work and at home everything went to sh*t. I ended up having a bit of a breakdown due to stress and had to take six months off with depression.

That's where your heading if you are making life more than you can cope with, and 6 months hurts a business a lot more than 5 days...

Take care of yourself because you are the single most important asset to your business.

About Slayer:

I could reschedule the two clients.

But, my husband is still not really cool with me going. I actually understand why as we have some issues in our marriage that I'm not going to talk about. But, he's not likely to go out of his way to get the weekend clear for me to run off and get drunk to death metal.

But, I am thinking of pressing him to do that. I think I want to go all three days and then sleep on Tuesday. I think he could take a couple of extra days and I could consider that my holiday.

Take some time off. I know I'm not self employed but my job is stressful and I find I need the time away. I get paid holiday but it actually works out to a week off a month