to feel upset at this boys suffering...

[honey86]

im referring to the 4 year old daniel pelka thats been in the news lately...
i think my hormones arent helping... but everytime i hear/see anything about it my stomach lurches..
when i hear how he ate from bins, got held underwater, or fed salt, i feel a sense of desperation to save him somehow... i know hes sadly died and hes not my child... but its just so heartwrenching to see how he suffered in such a barbaric way and noone thought to take him into care...
n his poor brother having to try n sneak food to him and try to find his heartbeat...

i know it might sound like im overreacting but it has just really broke my heart knowing that while ive been well fed and comfy, this boy wouldve been desperate for even just a bite of that food.

it angers me that such vile people could pass themselves as 'parents' when they would abuse their own child, a gorgeous child who did nothing to deserve such sorrow

So upsetting that I cannot read or look at his little face on TV. This terrible thing that is called 'luck of birth'

Sorry, not embarked I meant marked.

This is one of those cases I just cannot look at or listen to. I am a coward I know not to be able to hear his story and mourn him. But it brings me to tears just to imagine such suffering.

RIP poor child.

I am quite a toughie. But this case is horrible. I can barely read about it myself. The parents are scum, I have a horrible feeling that they could get off as they are blaming each other and it wont be clear who dealt the final blow.

However, what about the women who killed her children recently by jumping off a building with them? I feel the same sort of way about her tbh. She took innocent lives and so did this women and her partner.

Of course YANBU for being upset.

No reasonable person could not be upset by what that poor little boy went through.

I've been reading about this and following the trial closely, I find it incredibly upsetting and have cried buckets over it but keep reading because I want Daniell to have a voice and to have people know what happened to him even though it is too late to help him. What went on in that house is horrific, truly awful. Thank goodness these extreme situations are in a minority but one is too many. YANBU

I get it, the mother was vulrable too...

I'm not sure how true that is, yet.

I know it's the defence she's using but I'll wait until all the facts are known before I'll believe that she isn't just as evil as the man.

Seriously, could any person stand by and let someone else hurt their child like this poor little boy was? Most people would give up their own life to save their child.

So, if she was vunerable do we say it was OK as to what has happened?

The case it still going on so difficult to comment but I think people like that use every defence to excuse their actions - it has resulted in a death of a child. The text messages sound particularly horrible....

honey86 I think the reason this has affected you so badly as compared to all the other numerous cases of child abuse and killing is because you have a DD of the same age. I remember being similarly affected when the case of Baby P came to light.

Sadly, there are many Baby Ps and many Daniels out there. Most of them don't make the headlines because they somehow manage to escape the authorities' attention by not causing injuries that resulted in hospitalisation or death. The truth about the prevalence of child abuse in this country is staggering.

YANBU to be upset. That's a sane and normal reaction. Recognise that it's because you are able to connect to the case because of your own DD's age. It probably won't happen to you again, but if it makes you more aware and more likely to phone the NSPCC or SS when you suspect abuse in RL, that's a good thing.

May09Bump: It?s a story very much like this that got me into fostering.

When my DS was in YR2 (so 6/7), I noticed a little boy who was always in the playground on his own ? not always in uniform but when he was it was WAY too big for him. Seems that he was 1 of 4 or 5 boys ? all primary age. The one who got up first got to wear the uniform.
I used to play a game with DS whilst waiting for the bell to ring ? this was holding his hands behind my back and shouting ?DS where are you??-he would say ?behind you mummy? and I would turn round whilst holding DS?s hands then say ?no, you?re not, WHERE are you!? and on the game went??. This little lad (I never got to know his name) used to watch and laugh all the time.
I particularly remember him coming up to me laughing one day and noticing he had what looked like dried egg around his mouth. I offered him a wet wipe to wipe his breakfast away. He told me he hadn?t had any breakfast??oh, sorry. Must be your dinner??.nope, last meal he?d eaten was his school dinner the day before
When I spoke to his teacher I was reassured that ?things were in hand??obviously she couldn?t reveal too much.
He disappeared the following week and it broke my heart.
THAT?S when I decided that although I may not be able to help this little boy, there were many others out there whom I may be able to help and submitted my fostering application there and then. 4 years later, I could not think of a better way to spend my life.
During my ?skills to foster? course I mentioned this little boy and was reassured that I HAD helped him just by being a kind, smiling friendly face in the play ground for him ?showed him a different perspective. I really hope this is true where ever the poor little mite may be today.

This world breaks my heart . The Daniel Pelka case is the worst ever . That breeding object [NOT mother ] must have been off her head on drugs . Probably the boyfriend was supplying her . Probably groomed her because he was a sadist who got his kicks from hurting children.
All his relatives seem abnormal . He had an aunt . He got no help there. His father came over from Poland , didn't seem too put out . I haven't seen him since he testified . They don't seem to be even mildly horrified or ashamed . It seems to be only strangers who care about the poor small mite .

Kahuna

thats lovely.

they wont get off. NO WAY

they wont, I know its horrible but I want them to get FUCKING TORTURED IN PRISON

i cannot beleive I am condoning this as I am a non violent person

but I am just so upset

anyway, NOT helpful

last night my boys did not sleep, and instead of getting cross I just lay there holding DS2 hand till he fell asleep and I prayed for Daniel

RIP darling boy

and yes, my DS is same age and has alot of little polish boys in his class so its really hit a nerve

It's yet another child killed/abused by the mother's boyfriend.

There have been so many of these in the past few years.

A horrible couple and I hope they get what they deserve but I understand the trial is still going on and they are blaming each other. The women is clearly going for the 'victim' role. And might just get away with it. Its interesting that although in the UK for a few years they asked for a translator.

I am getting depressed reading about women who put their needs above their children time and time again and allow any old no mark to come into their lives and absuse their children and STAND BACK AND DO NOTHING!

Horrific case of pure cruelty by 2 very evil people, I am not really a supporter of the death penalty but in cases like this it's hard not to think that's what they deserve.

So very sad, I can only read brief outlines to the case most days as the details are so heart breaking.

That breeding object [NOT mother ] must have been off her head on drugs . Probably the boyfriend was supplying her . Probably groomed her because he was a sadist who got his kicks from hurting children.

I'm sure it's not meant to, but that unfortunately sounds like making excuses for the mother's behaviour.

For all we know she is every bit as evil and culpable as the other animal involved.

Daniel's extended family seem incredibly abnormal in their cool attitude to his death . His father came over from Poland and looked like he didn't have a care in the world at the courtroom . Daniel's aunt saw him when she visited the house and didn't notice anything amiss . They must be incredibly stupid ,on drugs or just don't care. No horror ,no shame , nothing . The only people who seem to care are strangers on the internet.

Correction ; Daniels sibling seems normal . He was hurting when Daniel was hurting and tried to comfort and help him . He was the only one .

It is very popular now to allow the mother to become the victim, it wasnt her fault, she was under his spell, she had no choice etc. This apology for a parent stood back and did NOTHING.

I have no real interest in whether she was made to do it, didnt now what was going on etc etc.

I am hoping that if the trial finds them guility they will spend the vast majority of their lives looking over their shoulders in prison...

I have to say though there do seems to have been strong signs that there was something very wrong. But you know - I sort of understand. They were Polish people (dont want to be accused of being racist!) the parents were uneducated (ditto). They also seem to be have been rude and defesive to the school.

As I have said on previous threads. My DH still volunteers in her old school (she was an infant school teacher). She always brings in toast and juice for certain children who always seem hungry. She has reported them to the Head (I think as you get older and have more experience you take those sorts of decisions). Being an Inner London School and with a diverse mixture the Head is careful not to be seen to pick on certain nationalities and cultures. What on earth has that to do with anything is beyond me....

Sorry DM (not DH!)

Its sickening isnt it.

The whole family bar a child just see this as normal. If I was SS and the police I would be storming into the extended family and seeing what is going on with any other children... (sorry, dont care if this upsets anyone!).

I think the mum and step dad are as bad as each other. I haven't seen anything to suggest that the mum was a victim in this. I hope they lock them up and throw away the key, in fact that is too good for them.

The testimony of his sibling is just heart-breaking. Bad enough for us to hear all the horrible details, but his brother or sister, desperately trying to look after Daniel - hard not to cry.

For those criticising the school, look at the earlier news stories. His teacher DID try desperately to raise the alarm. But nothing happened - I don't know whether social services fucked up or what, but his poor teacher is clearly devastated and desperately wishes she'd be able to help him.

Will there be an enquiry into why social services didn't help him? I believe there was an enquiry after the Victoria Climbie case. Don't get me going on that subject and how the mum blamed UK social services. This is the mum who sent her daughter off to live with someone she clearly didn't know at all and didn't bother to check up on her adequately for years.

I dont know what makes people behave like this. They come together and behave like animals towards the mothers child.

I think in some ways this women is worse than him. She allowed him access to her child. We dont know whether she was as bad as him or just stood back and let him do it because she 'loved' him. Whatever, she is now claiming to be a victim in all of this.

Lets just wait for hopefully for the right verdict. I do hope as well some 'do-gooder' doesnt come along and say she was a victim, didnt have anywhere to go, didnt realise what was going on, low IQ (in fact any excuse to get out of what has happened)