To be upset by this?

[Twigletstick]

My sister and bil keep using my past mistakes as cautionary tales to their own children - its only a couple of things that I did when younger that I regret but have learnt to live with / try to forget (once taking something from a shop when I was 11/12 years old and the other going out with friends at 16, getting very drunk and staying out all night).

They've told me now that they've used both of these two particular instances to warn their children of not doing certain things. I am upset by this as it feels as if my mistakes are being rubbed in my face despite now being over 30 and not having done anything bad since/being successful and stable in life.

Everyone makes mistakes in life - them included, they're certainly not angels - but I don't think they should bring them up in this way as they're not giving much thought to my feelings and I dont bring up their mistakes every chance I get.

Their children aren't exactly the most tactful kids either and there's every chance they could say something to my child when they're older.

My sister gets quite defensive if I say anything but unless I do they will keep doing this. Am I being unreasonable to think they are out of order doing this?

I could be really childish and say tit for tat - is there anything in your sisters murky past that you could use as a cautionary tale to their children as well?

I was going to say that too - think of something stupid she's done in the past, regale children with the tale and if she objects, look amazed and say 'But I thought we were dredging up past events, am I not allowed to join in?'

Yes, she won't like that. What did their mummy get up to?

That's a bit immature. It's fair enough to laugh about the time your auntie did x, y and z but the events you've described are a bit weird. Yes, you did a few silly things when you were young but you've not jeopardised your life in any way as a result. They'd be better off giving their kids general life advice rather than using you as an example. How old are their kids?

The two things you mention are minor, normal things that most children do at some point. Just childish mistakes

I am surprised these still bother you today, or that you would be upset about your own children finding out

Your DSis is being very insensitive but why do you think you are still so bothered by these minor, normal parts of growing up? You were not "bad" - just a normal child / teenager. You sound like you are very hard on yourself

I'd what csi says - play them at their own game and see how they like it.

Btw the things you mentioned sound like typical teenage antics - no reason at all to feel bad, it's in the past.

Thanks for the replies. The mistakes made by my Dsis and bil have been more recent - ie last 5-10 years or so - and their kids are probably already aware of them to be honest. From my pov that's worse in a way in terms of mistake as they were adults at the time.

I don't dwell on my mistakes - not proud of them that's for sure - but it's only niggling away at me because they make a point of saying to me how they've used them as warnings to their teenage kids. I don't have a problem explaining it to my child if it ever came up but it's not something I really want to come up.

I am quite hard on myself generally but I do recognise I have turned out ok notwithstanding foolish things I did when younger.