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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to stand up to this dog owner?

37 replies

Curleyhazel · 03/07/2013 17:14

We went for a walk in our local park this afternoon. I carried Dd2 in a sling and dd1 (3yrs) was walking a few steps ahead of me. Normally dd1 is not scared of dogs (grandparents have a spaniel which she loves) and we try to teach her to be calm but vigilant around dogs she doesn't know.

Anyway, as we were walking, a Labrador approached dd1 and came very close so she actually got a bit of a fright screamed and run back to me. The dog followed dd and started sniffing her so I asked the dog owner to call the dog back. The dog owner replied that his dog was well trained and harmless and allowed him to continue sniffing around my daughter. I told him that that might be very well the case but that my daughter and I didn't know the dog so could he please call the animal away from us. He insisted that he wouldn't call his dog back saying that he didn't know my daughter either and that dc1 could equally not be trusted as she "might bit his dog" Hmm.

During this unpleasant exchange he came quite close to me and the baby in the sling so I told him that his behaviour was aggressive to which he replied that I WAS BEING AGRESSIVE myself Shock. As we started walking away from him I said that if I saw him letting his dog too close to my child again without calling it back when asked to I would call the police.

What surprised me was that he looked like a normal/nice bloke in his 50ies or so but acted like an intimidating bastard Angry.

I was really fuming but tried to act calmly but please tell me if I was being overly cautious and unreasonable or if this guy was an arrogant prick.

OP posts:
SodaStreamy · 03/07/2013 17:16

Arrogant prick

pjmama · 03/07/2013 17:17

Arrogant prick. Don't let it bother you. You don't have to justify not wanting his dog near you and people like him give the rest of us responsible, considerate dog owners a bad name.

kotinka · 03/07/2013 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MalcolmTuckersMum · 03/07/2013 17:24

Sounds like an overblown arse. We had an incident in our park with an aggressive owner and a dog that wasn't under control so we rang the Dog Warden. It's always useful to get these things on record I think.

mrsjay · 03/07/2013 17:25

oh god these sort of dog owners get right on my wick what a horrible thing to experience I hope you are all right , his dog was not well behaved or trained if he let it sniff about your child and annoy her yes he was an arrogant prick not everybody wants a snifffy dog around them and where do these dog owners get off say OH HE IS FRIENDLY OR HE JUST WANTS TO SAY HELLO Angry Id never let my dog sniff about somebody who asked me not to

Donnadoon · 03/07/2013 17:34

Aggressive prick...And yes he gives he rest of us a bad name.

onedogandababy · 03/07/2013 17:38

No he was being a dick. Allowing dogs to behave like that can be what starts a nervousness around dogs. I regularly had run ins with someone who has a husky - it hates my dog and goes for her on sight. I ask her to call it back but get the infamous, he's just playing nonsense. I did once ask her to get the snarling dog away from my toddler in the pushchair, to which she replied, he's not after you or your baby, it's your dog he's after. So that's ok then. Hmm It finally stopped when I told her I would call the police and that there is such a thing as a dangerous dogs act.

People like this really piss me off. Just like the idiots who find it just too much effort to clear up after their dogs. It gives every dog & owner a bad name.

purplemurple1 · 03/07/2013 17:53

TBH really hard to tell without knowing tone of voice etc.

From his POV his old, very nice and freindly lab was calmly sniffing a child and women as he and the dog walked past, and then the child screamed for no reason, and the mum started threating to call the police.

Shame you felt threatened mind you,

Hercy · 03/07/2013 18:05

If you had asked him politely (initially) then no, I don't think you were being unreasonably.

That said, I do get really pissed off with parents who let their children scream and flap around (I'm not saying you didn't try and calm her, more of a general point), as dogs just think the child wants to play. I always put my labrador on a lead if I see children (as he's only 10 months and big and bouncy so could knock them over), but I don't see why parents won't give me the same courtesy and stop their children from shrieking and jumping around right by him.

Original poster
Curleyhazel · 03/07/2013 18:36

Hercy, I see your point but dd was just walking and minding her own business when the lab approached and sniffed her with no warning. She got startled (not surprised as the dogs was level with her face) and screamed out and run to me, so a completely normal reaction imo.

At this point said dog owner should have called the dog back. Not doing so resulted in my daughter (and me for that matter) feeling even more uncomfortable. How can I trust that the dog won't react to something when up close to a child?

OP posts:
Original poster
Curleyhazel · 03/07/2013 18:42

Malcolm, that's a good idea to call the dog warden. I will try and find contact details of one near us so that we could report the owner should this happen again. The thing is I really like dogs and hope to be able to have a family dog one day so really don't want dd to get spooked by dogs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Curleyhazel · 03/07/2013 18:43

Purple sorry that's not how it was if you read op.

OP posts:
ShellyBoobs · 03/07/2013 19:08

That said, I do get really pissed off with parents who let their children scream and flap around (I'm not saying you didn't try and calm her, more of a general point), as dogs just think the child wants to play.

Why the fuck shouldn't children scream and flap around when they're shitting themselves as an animal bigger than them is in their face?

Keep your mutt on a fucking lead!

BeerTricksPotter · 03/07/2013 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helenthemadex · 03/07/2013 19:37

its pricks like this that get all dog owners a bad name.

If a fucking dog the same size as me came sniffing round me I would be bloody nervous so why should a toddler be any different? it may well be friendly but sorry I dont possess the psychic powers to know that so as shellyboobs said keep your mutt on a fucking lead

ChocsAwayInMyGob · 03/07/2013 19:41

YANBU. I hate it when dogs off leads come and sniff round my children. Most of them are bigger than my 3yo and some dog owners (not all) think their Dog has a right to sniff and nuzzle people that may not want to be sniffed and nuzzled.

I don't care of "he won't hurt you" or "he wants to be friends". I get pissed off that nobody checks with me and just lets their dog slobber over my kids who have had no choice in the matter.

Hercy- most children do not shriek or jump around unless they have been approached and are startled.

My children are trained not to approach dogs and to walk calmly past dogs off the lead. I would appreciate dogs being trained to walk calmly past my children and not approach them.

Thank you to all dog owners who are considerate, I'm sorry that others give you a bad name.

crashdoll · 03/07/2013 19:48

Shelly That PP said she did keep her mutt on the lead and mind your fucking language!

PMTIsMe · 03/07/2013 19:49

Agree with Shelly

Once over heard 2 dog walkers discussing the perils of walking their dogs in the park. 'Its so hard for the dog when children are so unpredictable..' Yeh, like a child is really going to run up to your dog and try to bite its face off. Hmm

digerd · 03/07/2013 19:49

I have a little dog 10" high and furry. A 3 year-old boy was walking towards me and immediately he saw the dog acted really scared. I immediately walked her on quickly on the lead avoiding her going up and sniffing at his shoes, which she often does to strangers who are friendly.
It is a simple matter of compassion, especially where small children are concerned.

OP Your DD screamed and ran back to you, it was obvious she was terrified. That man was devoid of compassion and very rude to you.

mrsjay · 03/07/2013 19:56

It is just manners not to let your dog over sniff people and young children especially either keep it on a lead or call it back it really isn't difficult

Original poster
Curleyhazel · 03/07/2013 20:52

Thanks for all the supportive responses especialy from people who have dogs themselves themselves! In hindsight I think that asking a dog owner to call back their animal is probably likely be received as confrontational no matter how policed the request Sad.

I do wonder what the best/safest thing is to do for a carer in a situation where a dog gets to close to a toddler especially when she doesn't stand right beside you? Even if it is just a 'friendly' sniff. As I said we are teaching dd to keep calm but I personally would also feel uneasy and cautious to be at eye level with a unfamiliar large animal.

OP posts:
Hercy · 03/07/2013 20:53

Perhaps if you could read Shelley, you would have noted that I said I always do put my dog on a lead around children, and that I was making a general point (not directed at the specific circumstances of the OP) that when I have the courtesy to put my dog on a lead, it would be nice if parents reciprocated that courtesy by stopping their children from leaping about and making a lot of noise around my dog (although of course a lot of parents do try and prevent this).

Hercy · 03/07/2013 20:54

Curley, I would say the safest thing to do would be calmly turn your backs on the dog (keep rotating as much as necessary) and keep as calm/quiet as possible.

Sleepybunny · 03/07/2013 21:04

I don't get this either. I'm a dog owner and a mother. Some dog owners seem to think that their dogs are just wonderful and everyone loves them as much as they do, so obviously their dog should be up in your face.

I once had a dog run through and trash a picnic we we having in the park with young children and babies. The beast slobbered all over toys and stole food. The owner tried to call the dog back, but basically just stood there and let us try to fend off the animal whilst holding babies and struggle to protect our lunch. Once the dog had had its fill it left and and not so much as an apology from the owner. We were just Shock

kilmuir · 03/07/2013 21:06

he sounds a loon. I have a dog