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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to enjoy my children's birthdays

3 replies

annbenoli · 03/07/2013 13:46

Ok so myself and DH are both only children. Our families hate each other. Our 3 children are close to both sides and so want both sets of grandparents to come to their parties. Our eldest child's party is on sunday and both sets are coming to the party which is a picnic in a park and a horse riding lesson. I am dreading the stress, the atmosphere etc So, I feel really emotional about it I feel like they are robbing me well not just me all of us of what should be a really happy time. I can't see a solution which would be a good one for me, the children and DH (who can see no wrong in his own family). I can see right and wrong in all parties. Any advice?

OP posts:
DeWe · 03/07/2013 13:53

Grandparents don't come to my dc's birthday parties. They're too far away, and I would rather get on with dealing with the party rather than deal with relatives (even helpful ones) too.

In your situation I would have a family tea the day before for one day before, and a family tea the day after. Then have the party without them.

raisah · 03/07/2013 18:46

This is similar to my situation & I get round it by inviting friends & other familiar people that both sides can chat to. Having outsiders there will take the edge off the situation & they may be on their 'best behaviour'. If you position their picnic blankets on either side of you & your dh then they dont need to talk to each other. So your family placed next to you & your dh family sat next to him on the otherside.
also can you keep certain family members busy with jobs to minimise thinking & sniping time? Can you ban alcohol as that usually makes things worse.

Good luck & enjoy the day.

defineme · 03/07/2013 18:53

Your problem is your dh. If my dh was so blinkered that he thought his mum and dad were perfect then I'd be having serious doubts about his judgement in general.
If the two sides hate each other then they should come to different parts of the day or not at all.
Tbh, if both sides are at fault, then they wouldn't be coming at all and I'd do another tea for them on another day-you don't need this stress.

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