7 year olds boyfriend/girlfriend stuff...

[loopyluna]

DD is 7. Not 17.

Around beginning of January, her best friend, C (also 7), "dumped" her as she just wanted to hang out with her boyfriend at playtime!

I presumed this would pass but no, apart from a bit of a hoo-ha mid March where another classmate was accused of being in love with C's boyfriend and C got upset and played with my DD for a few days, the relationship between C and boyfriend, A, has stood the test of time!

Anyway, DD found new friends and hasn't been an issue at all. She hasn't seen C out of school at all. Last week there was an evening school bbq and I saw firsthand, that C and A were inseparable, holding hands the whole time and not playing with any other kids.

DD is going to a party on Saturday. DD just told me that C isn't going because "she is going to A's to make love"
A's parents work on Saturdays and he will be at home with his 14 year old brother. (The big brother was in primary with my DS and has been smoking for a couple of years and spends all his time chatting up girls according to my DS!)

So, here's the AIBU bit. I think, this is none of my business at all and that the expression "making love" is, no doubt just a phrase and these 7 year olds are not going to be having sex but DH is a bit horrified and thinks I should speak to C's mum. I wouldn't be happy at all for my DD to have this sort of relationship at any age to be honest, (ie, totally exclusive, cutting of from friends etc) but what on earth would I say to the mum?! She must be aware, surely?

AIBU to ignore the whole thing as it doesn't concern me?

Again.. The op HAS NOT witnessed anything more than hand holding.

Everything else is hearsay and speculation.

monica is right... just have a quite word with the teacher about the 'kissing and lookout' thing.

You don't need to go about accusing anyone of anything, it's just a chat about how your DD mentioned it and felt it was a bit odd and that you feel it's strange too. You don't even have to mention names, say some people in the class - the chances are, the teacher will probably be aware of it somehow. Surely 7 year olds can't be that sneaky and keep it completely from their teacher?

I imagine the boy has probably overheard/seen his brother with these girls and has copied his behaviour. Not ideal, but not much can be done about it unless A's Mum decides she feels it's inappropriate.

But at the end of the day you know C's and A's parents and whether you feel they would want to know all this or not.

*Quiet word, sorry.

Ah, ok, I thought you were saying the smoking thing was normal! My 13.5 year old doesn't do either tbh, nor do most of his friends, which is what makes this lad stand out a bit.
Not that that has anything to do with the 7 year old couple!

I still don't intend to bring up the subject with anyone, unless the discussion goes that way. I have talked to DD a little and asked if any of the teachers had seen C and A kissing or if their mum and dad knew and she said she didn't know.

It's the holidays soon and they both go to the village holiday club so it may be picked up on there...

8 and 9 year olds at school are driving me mad at the moment with talk of "going out with" each other!! (But it goes up to year 6)

So I asked one child, who was talking about the girl he "goes out" with, where they go when they go out. He looked at me as if I was mad. He said "We don't go any where!!!" So I said "Well,that's what "going out " means. Do your parents let you go off somewhere together?"
He said "No....it's the other thing". I asked what he meant,and someone else chipped in "They're in love!" I laughed and said I understood that, but "going out" is what you do when you are much older, as a couple,going on dates.
It seems that "going out" is the new way of describing "in luuuurve".

It just makes me a bit cross and a little bit sad that children as young as this talk about it in this way, it is so inappropriate.

I've nothing against calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend,(and when I was that age we used to play "kiss chase") in the confines of the playground,but to talk as if it is a relationship... It's not cute.

Sorry but I would be having a quiet word with the mother, boys of 7yo do not regularly go round kissing girls on the mouth, in fact my son is 8, almost 9 and if I asked him if he had been kissing girls he would probably go through exaggerated vomiting/gagging routine. I can't even get him to let me kiss him without a wrestle.
Because of this I would be a little concerned about them being alone together with only older brother supervising.

arse splinters here...whilst young children repeat what they hear and see it could be interpreted wrongly by others. As a parent I would be more concerned at the exclusivity of the friendship.
I'm late 40s, at that age I had a 'boyfriend', we held hands, kissed, as in peck, not slobber, and met in the playground. We sat together at lunch! He made me a clay dolphin that was a prized possession until I was grown up much older. We went to the school Christmas party holding hands!!Another girl and boy in my year were together until the age of 14! Children copy grown ups.
I would just talk to your child about friendships. The 'making love' could be holding hands or cuddling. Unless the language used becomes more explicit/inappropriate then I would flag it with school.
The issue of a older child smoking at 12 doesn't surprise me, kids used to hang outside our local shop asking adults to get them fags only a couple of years ago! my DH aged 63 has smoked since he was 9

i have a 7 year old. they are absolutely fascinated about kissing on the mouth at the moment and my dd will often lear towards me to try it then revolt in horror.

they also have intense, shortlived friendships. they can be absolutely besotted - by that i mean girl/girl friendships and girl/boy friendships then a few months later it's a big fall out and it's all over.

so no i wouldn't be the slightest bit worried by this. and i would stay out of it. i might if i knew the mum well make a comment in a jovial way mentioning what had been said. but no i wouldn't see it as something to report to ss or the school

I'm sure that they've heard the phrase "making love" misinterpreted it. When I was in Brownies (so aged 9 or so), I told Brown Owl that another girl had been "shagging" boys... I meant hugging! What a tell-tale I was. I sincerely hope Brown Owl didn't ring social services or the poor girl's parents.

I'd be concerned about the little girl only having one friend at her age. Why not gently laugh about the puppy love to her mum at the school gate and suggest her daughter comes round to yours for a play. It might make her remember how much she enjoyed playing with other children.