To reveal the extent of my depression to my mother?

[Khaleasy]

I'm very close to my Mum and recently revealed how bad my depression is.
I know that I've worried her now and feel awful because she has issues of her own but selfishly it has been a relief to stop hiding it.

AIBU to talk to my Mum about self harm, suicide and the other nasty nasty part? Or is it selfish?

Would you want your DD to reveal these things? How would you feel?

I need to know where to limit it, I guess

of course you should have told her! it will have been hard for her to hear but the most important thing is- you need real help. Ask her to help you find it. x

As the mother of 3, 2 of them adult now, I would want to know if they had problems, be it depression or anything else. Your Mum will want to know, and will be pleased to hear that her listening to you has helped. She will worry, of course, but knowing that she can help by being there for you will make it easier for her to deal with. She might be shocked at how bad it is, but I 'm guessing will feel bad that she hadn't guessed. You say you are close; she will want to do anything she can to help get you back on track. Just make sure you keep in regular touch with her, as she will worry if she hasn't heard from you, imagining the worst.
I think you were very brave to bring it out into the open.

Ah. You were the poster who wasnt sure what you were doing, or where you were going in life.
No, you wont know if you have depression. That is sort of one of the symptoms. Best not to make major decisions when a person is like that, as thet probably are not thinking very clearly.

Yes, good that you told your mum.
She will probably have guessed that something was up.

Have you told her everything? I cant quite make out from your op whether you have or not.

I have told her most things. She knows the self-harm is my vice, but that I use it as a last resort. She knows that I wish not to carry on but that I'd never do anything. It seems very silly saying out loud

Normally these sorts of threads are posted on the Mental Health board.
Up to you if you would like to ask MNHQ, for them to move it across for you.

I wanted to ask you a couple of other questions
Is it all right to ask you here on AIBU? Or would you rather ask for it to be moved first?
Or have we answered your questions all ready anyway.

Tried to MH board, only got the one response and there are people there in much more serious ways anyway, mine seems petty.
Happy to answer anything here, it's confidential in a weird way

Ok. But for you and anyone else reading this, no problem is too small over there.

Personally, if you were my DD, I would want to know absolutely everything.
Though every mum is different.
The only thing I would say, would be to spread it out over an hour or two? Rather than all of it coming out in a rush?

The 2 questions
I wasnt sure what you meant by the nasty nasty part.
Dont say if you dont want to.

And do you think there is something in your past that makes you not want to carry on?

AuntySib gave an excellent answer.

Of course she Will worry, which is why i think it is important that you tell her how much better you feel having told her, don't just tell her the nasty stuff but the good stuff too however minor. I hope you find the help you need.

I have 2grown up children. I would want to help them if they felt as you do.

You keep talking, posting, whatever or how ever you communicate, continue to do so.

Talk care of yourself...

I answer as a mum and someone who has suffered with depression and anxiety, with history of self harm which started as post natal depression.

My husband was the first to know what was going on but did not know what to do. I confided in my mum but was not honest with her about the extent of things. She helped practically (a bit) but I never felt she really understood. This was 11 years ago and I was lucky to recover and not really suffer again when my second baby was born 7 years ago. However I had a bit if a breakdown last year again. I told mum but kept bits from her. Why? Cos I felt/feel ashamed, embarrassed, and still perhaps scared about what happened to me.

I would want to know if my daughter was suffering but I know that my mum (and dad) would worry themselves sick if they knew about some of my bad days.

I decided that it was about me in the end and that I had to sort it. I know how hard it is to get that strength but I pulled through the worse and I had to do it alone. It wasn't about anyone else and there was nothing they could have done.

My mother has severe depression which happens in episodes.My grandmother knows she has it but she does not understand the illness and I think that if she did she would find it extremely hard to cope with.She worries over mild episodes my mother has which I know that she can get through so if she knew the things I've seen as a child and have been told now I really dont think she could get her head around it.In one way I feel yes she shouldve told her so she could understand her better because sometimes she cant get her head around why her daughter isnt fit to do things but in another way I dont think my mother would want her fussing!I couldve done with an adult to talk to when I was younger too which got tossed aside abiy because they did their best to hide it.I think my grandmothers generation had a lesser understanding of mental illness though.If you would discuss your inner thoughts with her then yes she should know so she can help you.