AIBU to wonder if my tummy will ever be vaguely normal-ish again after pregnancy :(

[emeraldgirl1]

DD was born 16w ago by C-section.

Actually I don't think the C-section is having as much of an impact as the fact that I had a small split (diastis recti) in the abdominals, due apparently to pregnancy itself and not to the C-section.

But my tummy looks and feels weird: the obliques kind of stick out a bit on each side and are quite hard to the touch.

I am on the slim side so it looks even more obvious IYSWIM.

I have always in the past had major body image problems (EDs etc) so I worked hard throughout pregnancy to eat well and exercise moderately as I knew I would struggle psychologically afterwards if I put on a lot of weight. I have worked hard to overcome my body demons from a few years ago and didn't want to set DD up for any issues if possible by me being unhappy with my body after pregnancy.

But this tummy split is just (bad) luck of the draw and I don't know if it will ever look even 80% like it used to :( which was never flat and washboard (ha!) but at least was vaguely flat-ish and certainly not sticking out in this bulgy way.

I am doing Pilates to try and help, I think it is helping but obviously is hard to find the time with a young baby and also I am losing heart as to how much it will really help.

Can I ask if anyone else had this, or even just had a bigger tummy than usual after pregnancy, and if so how long did it take to feel almost normal again, whatever your 'normal' was?

I have always told myself that your body takes 9 months to swell up and so you have to allow the same time for it to go back again... but I don't know if I believe that any more. Also my body image issues are lurking again and I am beating myself up for not having done more in the early weeks after DD was born as maybe I could have started the process earlier and maybe that would have helped?

forgot to add: my sister had the same split and her tummy has never been remotely the same again though she did also put on massive amounts of weight with her 3 pregnancies...

I do realise how silly this sounds when I am so lucky to have a gorgeous healthy DD btw... I just want very much to have a good body image again as I worked very hard on it for years and feel it's all gone a bit up in the air again. My body is different from the (imperfect but recognisable) body it used to be. It took a long time for me to like that body.

Yanbu for worrying but yabu to think you will never get better.
Starting the process earlier would have been silly, your body needs time to heal and you need all your energy in caring for your baby.
There are a lot of gentle exercises you can do to pull the muscles back together but go easy on yourself it's only been 4 months.
I was told it takes over a year to heal fully after childbirth.
You will get back to normal or normalish it just takes time, give yourself a break.

Be careful with the pilates, it can actually worsen the split - you need to do specific exercises.

I have used MuTu system, and there is also the Tuplar method.

That to one side, try and focus on what an amazing thing your body has done. It has grown a whole person :)

If you had started the process earlier, you could have done a lot of damage so you were right not to.

As Alibaba said, be careful with the pilates.

If I were you, I'd see your GP or HV and ask if they can help with advice on specific exercises.

Pilates is good, also I found control pants/tops fantastic for confidence post birth.... You are probably tired & emotional and feeling shit about yourself too.

I have had a bad split after each one..... Had 3 and preg with no. 4 so I have never had time to fully see results but with yoga and Pilates & walking and losing the weight I have been happy enough with my stomach to wear a bikini in between babies

You can still have a great body post baby just try not to be too hard on yourself

YANBU :)

I had something similar - my abdominals split down the middle during pregnancy. Not too too badly, but enough for it to look and feel weird - and I'd had a 'good' stomach before.

It took not too long (6 months or so) for it to get to a decent point. And actually, I just felt them now and for the first time thought, "Oh, those feel like before!". DS is now 2.4. I've been happy to wear a bikini for about a year.

So it will take time - go to the doctor, they can advise you because as other posters have said, you can make it worse. I found the most effective thing was walking with the buggy (we in quite a hilly area) and gently cardio with a focus on stomach muscles.

Don't beat yourself - some people I know have better bodies after pregnancy, it just takes a little time.

I've had 3 Dc and now have a wobbly cellulite jelly belly. I am slightly overweight, but annoyingly only round the middle. I have lovely shapely legs, normal sized arms but from the bottom of my boobs to my pubic bone is just plain old fat. I'd tell you what my obliques looked like if I could see them :0)
Last baby is now 5 months old and I am determined that I will not look 6 months pregnant for ever.

I had a emcs after ds2 17 months ago. Abdominal split after ds1 which worsened during 2nd pg.
Now my tummy is almost flat again, tiny bit wobbly due to stretching, still split but looks ok.
The only exercise I've done is walking about 6 miles a day with pushchair thanks to the school run.

Give it time.

If you have body issues they aren't easily fixed you will always try to find fault with yourself, no matter whatyou look like.

I had a diastasis with dd who is now 5m and am always being told how much weight I've lost but my stomach still has a definite bulge which is not fat.. I am trying Tracy Anderson without the crunches as that can worsen Diastasis and also cardio. There are some YouTube videos with exercises too.

It does take time, take it easy and be gentle with yourself.

It is very likely that your body will be different post pregnancy, especially if you are an older mum (this took me a while to come to terms with)

Give yourself time to fully get over your pregnancy, then ease into exercise gently. There are post-pregnancy exercise programmes out there, but I think they all start at 3 months post-partum (or at least they should...)

Walking is a good start, and it is also good for the baby!

I would strongly advise you to seek advice from a physio/hcp.

My stomach has been ruined by stretch marks. They start at my knees & end just above my belly button. I didn't put lots of weight on during pregnancy & i have always returned to my normal size 8 within a few weeks.

Good underwear is essential after a baby. It makes me feel/look alot better.

People always commented how quickly i returned to normal but i hate myself after each pregnancy. Think deflated wrinkly balloon!

16 weeks is still early days but go & get some advice, it can only help.

Give yourself some time, you will be fine.

I have had 2 C-sections, the first an emergency and the second as the baby was massive. My stomach was never flat before but it wasn't a round shape. My youngest is 16 months and I am now using one of those abdominal Be careful exercising and don't feel pressure just coz the Celebs have their baby body back "hours" after delivery. Just remember they also have air brushing!!

Yy fuckwittery I love the shape of a mother!

Thanks so much everyone... I am just feeling self conscious and as if everyone is staring at my bulge... As if people don't have better things to do with their time!!

I hope I am doing the Pilates stuff right... I had a couple of lessons with a teacher who does post natal Pilates so I am assuming she couldn't have taught me anything that would make it worse...?

God, anyone who's had a kid has had that bulge, though some people's last longer than others, so forget about that. After DS it seemed to just take it's own time to come back together and no amount of wasting time with my newborn sit ups or pilates seemed to quicken the process.

It took about a year for the muscles to feel like they were really back to 'normal' though my skin will certainly never be the same (not that it matters. I'm not the bikini type anyway!).

Give yourself a break and be careful. You don't want to risk a relapse or waste too much of this very precious, very brief time with a new baby. She'll be a toddler before you know it and the weight/muscles will be well back to normal by then as you'll be running around after her, wishing she was still a tiny little thing that just 'laid there'

Congrats.

It really can. It takes time and work though. And you need that years recovery time before you can be ready to work hard at getting the muscles back. My son (third baby) is coming up ten months now, i started back at cardio work in the gym when he was six months, and about a month ago i restarted weights work. My tummy is coming back together ok, but tbh theres no point building muscle if its covered in a layer of baby weight, and theres no way anyone should be attempting to cut fat when BF/sleep deprived/adjusting to motherhood. The best early exercise i recommend is getting the baby in the pram and have loads of walks. Keep checking your posture too, if you can suck the abs in slightly it will all help, especially as pregnancy really shifts your centre of gravity.

You don't sound silly at all x

I'm 30 and have had 2 huge babies, although I did not get hugely fat during my pregnancies, I was literally all tummy!

My tummy was horrendous after my last one, but had vastly improved since with exercise good diet etc, you know how it is, not patronising you!! TBH how it has recovered its self is beyond me.

Give yourself time, gentle exercise and be kind to your self. I bet you are beautiful. Congratulations on your baby!!

Dont let those past demons resurface, I've had my fair share of them, and they drained my self esteem, till i was 28

Your hormones will still be affecting your physical recovery, and probably will continue to for quite some time. If you are still breastfeeding and have not started your periods again, you will not yet have properly begun your recovery.

Don't panic! It is frightening to have a post birth body, but they do mostly go back to normal with the right chance to recover.

Thanks again everyone

I am trying not to panic but it is hard!

It helps to hear positive stories so thank you.

I stupidly keep thinking over and over about how I can't possibly have another baby until I'm back into shape after this one... Never mind that DH and I haven't even contemplated a cuddle in the last 16 weeks let alone anything that might make a baby!!! It is ridiculous and I just want to enjoy my lovely baby.

But I am just so aware of getting back into shape so that I can be happy with my body for my daughters sake.

I know I should be happy with my body no matter what but I am realistic and know I will struggle if I feel weird about it.

Fwiw I never had a remotely perfect body before, I just tried to make the best if what I had and I was happy with it.

My DD is nearly 2 and my tummy is the same size! Its like I'm still 6 months pregnant. after a stressful two years with work/uni i am now unemployed able to dedicate some time to this.

I understand op, how frustrating/embarrasing it is.

3 month later my stomach is rock hard and pretty flabby too. I was a bit overweight before pregnancy but actually didn't gain any weight during pregnancy, so I imagine it's not as bad as it could have been.

I am pretty surprised I'm doing as well as I am actually. I was wondering why it was so hard but now I have seen it's normal and I'm pretty happy about that.

They say it takes a year to eighteen months for your body to go completely back to normal but if you think about it, it's amazing it ever does with what it has gone through.