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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go away for christmas even though i am due the 19th december

24 replies

AmberSocks · 02/07/2013 11:05

OK so i am not actually planning on doing this but....

I am due 19th december.Every year we rent a big farmhouse near to dhs family over christmas,we have christmas morning and lunch there then on the evening go over to bils where we have a party,we have 4 little ones and dh is one of 5 and they all have 5 or 6 kids each so its greatfor the kids to see each other.

I kind of forgot i was due around that time and started talking about christmas at the famrhouse this year,then realised i will eaither have a baby by then or will be ready to pop(other 4 all 12 days late).

In theory,could i just go anyway,and if i go into labour just go to the nearest hospital with a maternity ward?am having a home borth like i did with the last two but hypothetically i could do this,couldnt i?

OP posts:

x2boys · 02/07/2013 11:09

LOL sorry I was due on the 19th seven years ago my waters broke on the 23rd but I did not go into labour I was admitted that night was taken down to the delivery suite at 5pm xmas day [after several failed gel attempts to start labour and put on drip baby was was born 5.50 am boxing day just saying!

Pascha · 02/07/2013 11:10

Hypothetically of course you could. If it was me I would arrange it all as normal, with contingency plans in place for each scenario:

With newborn
Heavily pregnant
Giving birth while there
Without you because you're stuck in hospital

If everybody is willing to pitch in and allow you to rest - with or without baby - and you're happy to do it then just do it!

magimedi · 02/07/2013 11:12

Agree with Pascha - it's your fifth so am sure you know what you are doing!

Birdsgottafly · 02/07/2013 11:13

What is the weather going to be like where you are staying?

It has snowed around Christmas for the last few years, very heavily in some places.

Were your other labours quick? You could deliver very fast, it being your 5th.

If you have had the baby, then you will be fine to go, it being a normal delivery etc.

I would think carefully about it, depending on location and you will have to inform your MW about your plans. Staffing levels are less over holiday periods and some Maternity Units are pushed in rural areas, anyway.

I would just decide nearer the time, you could go early, so not worth worrying about, yet.

Yankeedoodlenic · 02/07/2013 11:15

It seems crazy to me (but I'm only pregnant with my first!) I'm sure as an experienced mum you can handle it.

I was debating because my baby is due on the 5th of December but my boyfriend's family live 2.5 hours away and we usually spend Christmas there. Do you think it is appropriate to travel that far with a baby who is only a few weeks old? I would have thought I'd just want my normal home comforts and routine when the baby is that young?

Pascha · 02/07/2013 11:30

I would agree with you Yankee for a first or even a second baby. Its overwhelming getting used to everything but with 4 children to care for, the idea of a wider family being around sounds bloody marvellous to me.

As long as everybody is on the same page wrt you being able to relax and concentrate on baby if its here, then it seems like a grand idea to me.

TarkaTheOtter · 02/07/2013 11:36

Can't you all rent somewhere nearer to you this year just in case? That way your other children wouldn't miss out and you'd have lots of childcare when you went into labour.

MrsLyman · 02/07/2013 12:02

Personally I'd just stay at home, but then I'm not known for incurring bothersome situations on myself.

Of course there is definitely a possibility that it would all be fine and lovely, you'd give birth on 24th December and the baby will have it's whole family cooing over and raising a toast over christmas dinner, which would be lovely.

It would be the what if scenarios that would have me thinking that it just isnt' really worth the hassle.

Original poster

AmberSocks · 02/07/2013 12:07

Have just mentioned it to dh and he said he would rather stay at home,i think its the going to hospital bit he doesnt like that sound of,the home births were lovely,the hospital births were lovely too tbf but it was just less stressful all around i think.Its a shame really because it would be nice to see them at christmas.My moneys on this being a new years eve baby!

OP posts:

claudedebussy · 02/07/2013 12:17

i would go. you could still have a home birth and have lots of help on hand. make sure you know where the nearest maternity ward is.

sounds great!

foreverondiet · 02/07/2013 19:06

I think it's fine if you are happy to go to local hospital - and if you happy to go with newborn - although might not be able to have home birth unless all booked and sorted out in advance.

jojane · 02/07/2013 19:32

Ds1 was due 16th dec. so we arranged to go to stay with MIL for Xmas. Ds didn't come til 22nd but we still went. Looking back I really regret it, I was in a different house with none of my stuff with me, wanted clothes etc I hadn't worn, was bleeding one end and leaking milk the other, trying establish breastfeeding, etcetc.

3across2down · 02/07/2013 19:46

I was due on the 19th Dec and my DS was eventually born on New Year's Day. Luckily it was a planned homebirth as it had snowed overnight and the labour was very quick. I'm not sure we would have made it to the hospital in time. Because of the snow only one midwife made it to our house and she roped my DH in to help.

I don't know what to suggest. All I can say is that you can never predict when babies are going to come or what the weather's going to do at that time of year!

Original poster

AmberSocks · 02/07/2013 21:01

Yes,snow and just generally wanting to be at home,i hadnt thought of that,one of the biggest reasons i disliked the aftercare in hospital was because i just wanted to be at home with my stuff and my home comforts.

OP posts:

littleblackno · 02/07/2013 21:15

Can it not be done near to you? You stay at home and family all rent somewhere close by? Then you can go to them or they to you (in smaller groups and bring you food and goodies etc) you don't miss out, but still have home comforts and can tell them to fuck off when you need space. Family can also entertin your other dcs when you need peace and quiet.

SizzleSazz · 02/07/2013 21:16

I was due on 19th and DD was born on 20 Nov, so you could be fine and have a load of helpers with a 5 week old!

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 02/07/2013 21:17

If you had just had baby before xmas then you home local midwife team might not be happy you are going out of touch ( they are hot on watching weight of baby). Plus there is the heel prick bloods test and a newborn medical check a few days after a home birth by a qualified person. I assume you can opt out of all these but would you want to?

Original poster

AmberSocks · 02/07/2013 21:51

The newborn heel prick thingy ive never had,they had the check though but that was when they were about a week old i think?I never had mine weighed really except when they were born and then again a few days later i think,they always fed well and had lots of wet and dirty nappies so never felt the need.I agree it doesnt mean this one definitley will be though.

I think we will stay here,there can always be next year.

OP posts:

5madthings · 02/07/2013 21:55

I would be tempted to try and go actually but with contingency plans.

Mine were all overdue as well, (have five) and I went away when overdue with ds3, due first Dec, finally arrived the 23rd. I stayed in the same county and midwife was final gave me a birth pack to take with me. There was a midwife led birth center nearby I would gave gone to (called them and checked it was OK, ditto local hospital).

catus · 02/07/2013 23:20

Well, this baby is clearly no pfb ! I'm in awe, having had just the one... I have no idea what you should do (as I said, I just have the one), but you sound so blasé(in a good way !), I am completely amazed !

hopefulgum · 02/07/2013 23:34

I would go if I were you. It is your fifth baby, so you will be fine with establishing breastfeeding etc, and honestly, having so much family around for the other four kids would be wonderful. It sounds like you are unlikely to have baby on the due date (judging by past pregnancies) anyway, and I think staying at home over Christmas, not yet had the baby, you will be sad you weren't with the extended family.

I can see why your DH would rather you were at home for a lovely homebirth, but I'm willing to bet you will be home in time anyway.

thebody · 02/07/2013 23:41

Bloody hell Amber, stopped at 4 so total respect.

I think you should stay put though as its lovely to be properly at home after baby comes.

We will need updating nearer the time of course.😄

HildaOgden · 02/07/2013 23:46

How much is the farmhouse?Is it worth booking it,and winging it?

cory · 02/07/2013 23:54

I would take into account that if anything goes wrong- not necessarily disastrously totally wrong, but maybe needing a longer hospital stay or baby in SCBU- it could be very awkward being away from home with nowhere to stay.

Speaking from bitter experinence here, not my own, but IL's popped up for the weekend to see our new baby and poor FIL had a heart attack the same night: they were stuck in our town for 6 weeks before FIL could be moved.

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