To move to Spain

[SomethingProfound]

Well just that really.

I have just finished Uni, and have luckily managed to get a job straight away good prospects and a great company.

My DP of two years has just taken a job in Spain setting up the kitchen in his friends restaurant, he is an amazing chef and creating his own menu and having complete creative control was simply to good an opportunity to pass up. He has been a head chef for years and has worked so hard and such long hours for so long he really needed a change and new challenge so I was happy for him to go.

The plan was for him to stay in Spain for four months and then come home, however he is now saying that its such a great pace of life why not live there for a few years and experience something new. We are both relatively young (27 and 33) with no real commitments here.

Would it be madness to go and join him? My degree is in hospitality management and have relatives in Spain who also work in my industry so imagine finding work wouldn't be too difficult.

However I'm concerned I would be throwing away a really good opportunity for some fun in the sun. I'm torn between head and heart. Wise women of MN what do you think? is this madness AIBU to give up a good job for a few years in Spain.

Go. When you have kids and a mortgage it wont be so possible. Enjoy the experience!

I've lived and worked in Spain for 6 years. First of all, lets dispel the myth of the "pace of life". It is just as hectic here as in any other country, in fact probably more so, working days are longer for a start.

Your experience will also be completely different depending on whether you are moving to a city, or to an area with lots of British expats. The second isnt really Spain but more like a holiday resort, well, it will be if you hang around only with other English speakers, shop at Iceland etc

Unemployment is at 27% in Spain. Do you speak fluent Spanish and what are your qualifications? Even if they are great then you will be very lucky to find a job, and even luckier to find one that pays over 1,000 euros per month

Spain is a great place to live if you earn well and are fluent in Spanish, otherwise it is a lot of hard work.

Mijas99, the comment about pace of life I think is relative both DP and I are used to working 65 hours or more a week or more such is the nature of the industry we work in so for him it feels much less hectic especially as he isn't cooking for over a hundred people or managing a bunch of moody chefs.

The area is a village and predominantly British, so yes you are right it probably isn't a true taste of spain however that isn't a major concern for me. My degree is in hospitality management and I have been work in the industry my entire working life but I'm sure there is a lot of competition for jobs. The language and my lack of it is a factor that concerns me but I would defiantly pursue learning should I choose to go.

I don't believe I would get a job like the one I have hear my expectations are realistic and this is my main concern am I giving up a good job and taking a massive step backwards ? Also that fact I would to a certain extent be financially reliant on my DP. So confused

SomethingProfound, the big worry is whether you could get a job at all. Skilled young people who speak even a few words of English are immigrating, if you are going to a British expat area then unemployment will be more like 40-50%! Compare this to the UK where unemployment is at 9%

You may be able to get work in a hotel catering for English holidaymakers, but wages will be miserable

You will also struggle to learn Spanish if you are essentially living a British life in the sun. Hardly any British people in those areas speak Spanish. The young people make a living selling drugs, timeshare or working in hothouses ripping off British pensioners.

Btw, I know lots of Spaniards who work 65 hours per week!

Mijas99, this is my worry, that I will go and not really have anything to go for other than DP ifyswim.

Go!!! It may not work out but unless you try who knows! Do it now before you get tied down with other stuff :)

Do it.....you can always come back.......

How long have you been in your current job, the one you got after graduating?

Have you been to where your DP is living yet, on a visit?

How long has he been there? The first couple weeks and months are always a honeymoon, then you start to realise the realities. Also much different short-term working than properly living.

I would be very worried that you're essentially moving for DP.

I would find a good job FIRST and then commit to the move. How long have you been with DP? Is it really serious long term marriage type relationship?

You don't have any ties so I say go for it but I'd also say listen to what Mijas is saying. Yes the UK is going through its own recession but it really does not compare to the recessions of other European countries.

Go with your eyes wide open.

I've not has this job long at all a few months, he has been there a month and yes I do think he may be looking through rose tinted glasses.

It only came up last night that he would like to stay for a prolonged period of time, I'm due to go and see him soon (for the first time) that is one of the reasons I started the thread I don't want to go over without having thought about the reality of moving and end up getting swept up in a fantastical idea of things, which I think could happen very easily.

We have discussed marriage and children they are defiantly where our relationship is heading.

And yes I would be moving for him, it is not something I would pursue if not for him. However him staying is dependant on me, if I don't go he won't stay.

I am 35 this year and although I am very happy with my life, I always wish I had done some sort of travelling before having a mortgage (at 23) and a baby (at 33) but was always too scared to do it. Before you have any major ties, you should go for it....what do you have to lose? I wish I had.

Itsmymove, there is plenty to lose

First, staying among British expats in Spain isnt exactly life affirming, it is just Britain with more sun, but no welfare state to back you up.

It is a huge commitment to live in Spain with children if you are not fluent in Spanish. How can you work out what is best for your children if you cannot work out anything of what is going on? State schools in many areas are going completely going down the pan, while sending your children to expensive British schools gives them an upbringing similar to what someone may have had in a British Indian colony 80 years ago, cut off from the country they live in

The OP is likely to have little to no work prospects, that can really get you down. As can only being able to socialise with a few other English speakers, basically you would have no control over your future

The job market is very bad in the UK, and extremely terrible in Spain. Giving up your job now and having a 2 year sabbatical will not look good to employers

As for the OP, restaurants are going bust all over the place, just make sure that he signs a proper contract, otherwise you may end of with no money left at all and wondering where your next meal comes from. The Spanish government pays no benefits to those who have never worked legally

So, sure go for it, but treat it is an extended holiday and if you get a job, that will be a bonus

i would go. no looking back, or wondering if. you have years for that!

go! Im 26 &moved to spain for dhs work in September, it is the best decision I have ever made! I did a CELTA qualificatipn before going and found it easy to get a job, and I lOVE my job!

its only sunny in the summer though, people back home forget that!

I don't think the OP has any children, I meant I would like to have travelled before having my baby, not with him (unless I win the lottery of course, then we'll be off !).

It's down to OP to decide what she personally has to lose really and doing as mijas says in the last line sounds like a sensible option.

I am always over cautious when it comes to decisions like this and believe I maybe would have travelled if I wasn't always thinking 'what if'...

Can you see moving to Spain as your long term plan?

So sign up - today - for a Spanish course at your local college. Practice every hour you have. You are obviously bright so you should be able to get yourself to GCSE standard in a few months. Does your partner speak Spanish? If so, make him speak it to you.

Start investigating graduate style jobs in Spain (ie the equivalent of what you have now.) What experience / qualifications do you need? Can you get them? Make the most of the opportunities you are given at work to get as much really good experience as possible.

Save as much cash as you can.

Give your dp time for the honeymoon to wear off and to be sure he wants to stay.

Investigate healthcare and education out there to make sure it would work out if you stayed there once you have kids.

Once you have all your ducks in a row then Go Go Go - you lucky sod!

I don't have any DC's I wouldn't consider going if I did.

Mijas you have reiterated all my worries, as I and another poster said before I think DP is going through his honeymoon phase. I'm not going to discount going, but won't without employment lined up had having undertaken some Spanish classes that will give me a good foundation to build upon.

Umlauf tell me more?!

X post mummy2katie, I think you have hit the nail on the head!

any chance of organising a career break from your current job? you might be able to have a guarantee of a job back here if things don't go well. if they do, you can give up your british job.

I wouldn't throw away a good job on a whim, it's better to find a job in a foreign country when you have qualifications and years of experience otherwise I fear like mijas says you'll be stuck with low paid menial summer temporary work

I know it will be hard but why don't you have a long distance relationship for 6-12 months. Let your DP go out there and get settled and if after 6 months he is still really enjoying it and the reality is all that he was expecting it to be you can decide to jack in your job and join him but at least you have a bit more experience to offer prospective employers

I would carry on with my british job, wait for DP to settle in Spain, visit him frequently and do job interviews there. If / when I get a job offer in Spain, I would move.

I would advise visiting, yes, and just have a look around while you're there and see if what you're thinking of would be possible. Like mijas69, I think you do need to go with your eyes open as most young Spaniards, with degrees and experience in the restaurant business, can't find work anywhere and are travelling to other countries looking for work. Something like 65% of young people in Spain are out of work - the situation there is terrible at the moment.

Without any Spanish, (you'd need a CV in Spanish, just as a start), you wouldn't be at the top of the queue for most jobs. Plenty of Spaniards also speak good English. The only thing that would pretty much guarantee you a job would be teaching English with a TEFL certificate done before you go.

I really think you should wait.

He's only been there a month, he will still be seeing the best side of everything, and has no idea whether his restaurant will stay open or not.

You have only been in your job a few months. I think it would be good to stay at least six, ideally much more, otherwise it looks pretty flaky -- unless you can immediately pop into a decent job down there.

You need to really find out what kind of jobs you can get down there. Without a decent amount of Spanish you are probably limited to very menial work, in which case why did you go get a degree? Yes, you can always come back, but you will have lost that momentum of degree + first real job.

You say you have talked about marriage and kids, but what kind of talks? you say that's where things are heading but do you have actual plans? Do you live together in the UK?

I don't want to be too discouraging. I have moved overseas twice and both times it's been great. BUT each time the fairly spontaneous decision was followed by months of research and pondering, lining up my ducks, and being very practical about everything.

So don't rule it out, but be very practical about what you need to have in place before you go. At worst, it can be more of a long-term plan -- maybe your DP comes back in 4 months and you work some more in the UK and go back in a year or two. Don't forget YOUR career is important too, it's not necessarily a huge deal for you two to wait a year in order for you to learn some Spanish and get more experience first.

You all seem to be reiterating my concerns.

No I don't want to throw away four years hard slog for what could be pipe dream.

DP is established enough in his career to come back to the UK and get a job straight away, I'm not, and I've worked to hard to not give my career a fair chance.

I think that those that have said do long distance let him get settled and see what happens are completely right. In six months the rose tint might of worn off. I will visit as often as possible and look into some Spanish lessons but I'm not going to be packing up any time soon, unless I have a good opportunity to go for.

Thank you all for your responses. I know if I went out there without having read these responses I would be tempted to say fuck it I'm staying, and could ended up in a undesirable situation.

So thanks all for the good advice!