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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a child to answer the phone?

107 replies

JewelFairies · 01/07/2013 23:38

If I phone someone I do not wish to negotiate with a toddler or small child. I don't think it's okay to let a child under the age of ...er, 14? to answer the phone. I'd rather speak to an answer phone than a child. AIBU?

OP posts:
3birthdaybunnies · 02/07/2013 00:06

Our 8yr old is perfectly competent and the other option is to leave it for 6 rings which is never long enough from the kitchen, then wait until the cable has recorded it and then play back the message and realise the pen doesn't work, the supper is burning dash back to kitchen and then I'll forget all about you until 9:45. I prefer it my way. Plus if it is FIL with any luck she will natter for a while before passing to 6&3yr old by which time dh is home.

It's simple either say 'please can I talk to mummy/daddy' or say 'I'll ring back later' either way you're likely to enter my consciousness sooner, messages wait for days on the landline. Better still txt or email.

TroublesomeEx · 02/07/2013 00:09

You'd hate phoning me then!

Answering the phone is my daughter's job. She's 7 but has been doing it since she was around 4. She's good at taking and relaying messages, she's polite and if she answers and it's one of those automated PPI type messages she just shouts "you're not even a real person, stupid robot" before hanging up.

amazingmumof6 · 02/07/2013 00:17

jewel
opening the door could put them in danger.
picking up the phone isn't.

mine do both, but only when I ask them, never on their own accord.

if I don't ask them, they will leave the phone to ring.

TroublesomeEx · 02/07/2013 00:21

Oh and she'd never answer the door. In fact my 14 year old isn't allowed to open the door without me being present.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 02/07/2013 00:30

Mine would not answer the phone because they know they are not allowed to! They're too young....the call will not be for them.

MrsMook · 02/07/2013 00:43

I was trained on how to answer the phone politely when I was about 9.

The only problem it's ever caused is through the family trait where all females have the same voice, so on numerous occasions my mum's friends ring up, assume it's her and launch into the call not giving me chance to squeeze in "I'll get my mum" for the first few minutes. Still happens now.

mrssprout · 02/07/2013 00:45

My 10 year old will get the phone if I am in the shower or if she is closer. She is usually really good & hands the phone to me or DH after the person asks for who they want. I may have to stop her after the other day. I came out of the shower to be told there had been a phonecall. Apparently it was a man or lady who wanted daddy, when told he wasn't there they said they would ring back, they also knew her name when they said hello. She eventually decided it had been a man & DH tried to think who it could be. A man from church rang back later that evening, we never would have guessed it was him.

5madthings · 02/07/2013 00:45

folk where do you live that your 14yr old cant answer the door?

Boomba · 02/07/2013 00:49

Doesn't really matter, what you want though OP. If other people are happy for their kids to answer their phone...then your options are deal with it, or hang up

CointreauVersial · 02/07/2013 00:49

My neighbour's 5yo is a right pain. He answers the phone, then refuses to pass it to his parents, chats away at you, or just puts the handset down and wanders off. Usually I end up having to walk round and knock on the door, and they usually haven't realised he's picked the phone up.

cory · 02/07/2013 06:27

Once they are over the age of 8 or so, how does the family know the phone call is for the mother and not the child anyway?

nooka · 02/07/2013 06:35

My children have the phone answering duty in our house. It's almost always for dd in any case. I don't know why it's a problem if the child is polite and takes messages if needed.

curlew · 02/07/2013 06:38

Wow- children can be abducted down the phone line now???

Who knew!!!!!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 02/07/2013 06:42

If the child is old/mature enough to answer the phone sensibly then I don't see the problem. Telephone skills are useful to have as early as possible. The problem is when the parents haven't trained the child to follow correct telephone answering procedure. Grin

So for me it's not so much that I don't want a child to answer the phone as it is that I expect that a parent will have taught their child how to answer the phone correctly before they let them loose on it.

weblette · 02/07/2013 06:56

All of my four can and do answer the phone, including the 5yo. They all do the same as 5mad's and say hello then ask who's calling.
It's not meant to be cute, it's works very well.

JessieMcJessie · 02/07/2013 06:57

When my brother was 8 or 9 he once answered the phone to an American client of my Dad's, who was so impressed with his telephone manner that he sent him a baseball shirt and hat as a present.

He's 35 now and is still proud of himself.

3birthdaybunnies · 02/07/2013 07:00

Not sure about the magic phone answering protocol, I make sure dd1 never says her name, number or any of the other identifying details I was trained to do when younger. Have spent years and many cold caller nightmares training my parents not to either. If it's someone whom I want to ring then they know we have dc and they know them and happy to chat for a few min, if it is a cold caller then it gives them a few minutes to reflect on their career choices.. 'Hello can I help you' is all that is required. Followed by 'I'll just get her/could you ring back later'. It's not tricky for a 7/8 yr old.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 02/07/2013 07:02

My 4yo nephew has a very nice telephone manner, says hello, and asks who it is when you ask to speak to his mum, then passes the phone over, same as 5mad's and weblette. As weblette says, it's not meant to be cute, it just works. If you're closest to the phone, you answer it, including me if I'm over there.

TroublesomeEx · 02/07/2013 07:02

5madthings we live in a really nice area actually - but when I was at school the mum of a friend of mine got ambushed by a man at knifepoint on her doorstep in the same really nice area. I think it might have had a lasting effect Blush

I don't mean he can't ever answer it, if we're expecting someone then it's ok, but if the door is knocked and we're not expecting anyone then he doesn't answer it then.

Bunbaker · 02/07/2013 07:05

Annoyingly DD, 12, won't answer the phone. I might be in the loo or have garlic covered hands, but she just lets it ring. We use our landline a lot to talk to family (the older generation don't have mobiles), but as OH works from home a daytime call might well be from a client.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 02/07/2013 07:09

My 5 and 7 year old always answer the phone - its usually for them. Thy also make calls to their friends - should their friends not be allowed to answer the phone I wonder? We live in Germany and my kids speak better German than me, so I imagine a lot of people are glad when they answer instead of me ;) The 7 year old takes messages well, the 5 year old passes the phone to me and tells me who is calling :)

If you call somebody you do not get to dictate who answers or to be indignant about it (unless you are calling a business).

I do agree that children who can't yet speak in sentences shouldn't be answering the phone - I'd set the minimum age closer to 3 than 14 though!

YABU and silly OP Grin

Sparklingbrook · 02/07/2013 07:11

Ooh excellent, DS1 was 14 last week i can let him answer the phone. Grin

We have caller display so the DC can pick and choose whether they answer. If they don't want to they call me or let the answering machine get it.

Our landline rings once a week. Tops.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 02/07/2013 07:14

My two are 9 and 7 and won't do it, although they will tell me it's ringing if I haven't heard it (in the garden for example). We have caller id so you know who it is but they still don't want to answer (it's only the grandparents and cold callers that use it TBH). They read the screen and say who it is though, same with my mobile if a text or other alert appears.

DS knows how to make calls though and I encourage him to practice that for when he is left at home alone.

They are definitely not allowed to answer the door if Dh or I are not behind them, mainly because they are likely to just leave a potential burglar standing in the open door while they fetch me from the garden.

exoticfruits · 02/07/2013 07:32

I think that it is fine as long as you have taught them to do it correctly - it is ridiculous to say they can manage it until they are 14yrs old! The average 6 yr old should be able to do it properly- some can when younger.

Greydog · 02/07/2013 07:38

My lad was taught to always answer the phone with "hello, who's calling please" he always passed messages on, and would never give out the number. He did this from 4. I worked for a Telco, so had dealt with phones for years, so wanted to make sure that he answered clearly and concisely

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