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Original poster

School events during the day

57 replies

gallifrey · 01/07/2013 20:01

My dd's school is terrible for this, every term there is a class assembly that we are all expected to go to. They have a celebration afternoon where we have to go an look at their work. I don't work so I try to go to everything. The one thing I didn't go to my dd remembers to this day!
One time one of my dd's friends burst into tears because her Mum wasn't there :(
Now we have to go to a picnic lunch before sports day, so again there will be lots of children whose parents work that will be feeling left out.
And got a letter today about a celebration afternoon and cream tea that we are invited to.

I have a younger dd who is 2 and quite naughty and on several occasions the letters have said no younger siblings to attend due to H&S!

Honestly I think that school assume that no parents work during the day!

OP posts:
SprinkleLiberally · 01/07/2013 21:10

I think some events are more important than others. So, Christmas play do one evening and one daytime. Bog standard assembly, daytime only. Also schools should vary the day and time of events so that part time
workers stand a chance at least sometimes. Not always
Friday for example.

scaevola · 01/07/2013 21:15

I think it goes with the territory, and I do want to see events like this happening in schools.

But there are some things that make it a bit easier, and I don't think schools are always as considerate as they easily could be.

For example, it would help if schools could:
a) vary which days events are held
b) vary times (sometimes first thing, sometimes as late as can be managed)
c) give at least a months notice, including start and anticipated finish times
d) stick to the dates and times.

SingingSilver · 01/07/2013 21:17

When I was at school in the 80s I don't think my parents were in the school building once during the day. Parents evening and school plays were always in the evening.

CaptainSweatPants · 01/07/2013 21:25

How can they ban young siblings on grounds of health & safety Hmm

davidjrmum · 01/07/2013 21:34

I have a lot of sympathy for the OP. My eldest daughter is 26 and when she was at primary school there was a play at Christmas and sports day and that was about it during the day. My youngest - age 6 - seems to have things on at his school nearly every week. They have a celebration assembly every 3rd Friday afternoon and lots of parents complain about it because the children are inevitably upset if mum or dad isn't there but realistically which working parent can have every 3rd Friday afternoon off as well as cover the school holidays and get to sports days, school plays, help with trips etc. Our PTA even has meetings during the school day!

AngelsWithSilverWings · 01/07/2013 21:39

I've been thinking about this lately as my diary is full of school stuff at the moment.

I have one DC in reception and one in y2.

Last week : Monday - DD sponsored walk , Wednesday DS sponsored walk. ( Parents took part)

This week : Tuesday - DD performance at morning assembly, DS Transition evening

Next week : Tuesday : DD sports day , Thursday : DS sports day , Thursday : DD transition evening.

Following week : Mon DS performance at morning assembly , Tues - Open afternoon , Thurs - end of term street party.

Kids expect me to be at everything! I'm a SAHM so it's not a problem for me but DH feels torn as he'd love to be at both Sports days/ assembly performances but it's too hard to get the time off work.

Joiningthegang · 01/07/2013 22:05

I have 3 things this week during the day , I had 2 last week and another 2 next week
Ffs - really hard when you work - especially when you need your annual leave for the holidays.

And as "during the day" is generally the middle of the day, as both dh and I work 20 miles away it is a whole morning or afternoon.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and it is called secondary school - where, I am reliably informed, there is none of this during the day nonsense.

Original poster
gallifrey · 01/07/2013 22:22

I know they can't have them any other time but do they have to have so many of them!

OP posts:
NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 01/07/2013 22:25

There is no solution to this.

One of those times you just have to get over it.

weakestlink · 01/07/2013 22:31

It's a bit off to ban younger siblings!

Otherwise its just one of those things. Between me, DH and my DMum we usually manage to attend things but there has been occasion when this is not possible. There will be plenty of other children whose parents work though so I doubt your child will be alone.

Perhaps a convo before the event explaining how mummy and daddy have to work etc etc and make a big fuss afterwards?

CloudsAndTrees · 01/07/2013 22:36

It is sad for the children who don't have anyone there for them, but these events are usually lovely things that children enjoy and get a lot out of. I don't think it's right to ask for less of them, they are a good thing that help many parents engage with school.

MidniteScribbler · 01/07/2013 22:42

Bertha, I'd welcome evening events. It makes it practical for those who really cannot have time off in the day to go and see their do in the play or whatever. It's not as if it is that late for a year 6. I'm assuming it is 6 or 7 pm not 11!

Yes, because teachers have no lives of their own at all. They must give up their own family life to suit your working day.

MorphandChas · 01/07/2013 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missingmumxox · 01/07/2013 23:44

I think so many parent work now that it is not as traumatic as it was when I was a child, me and my work friend both had working Mums full time in the 70's and we both have stories of the time we where the only child without Mum there, she at least had a stand in Gran but when I was a child every event ended with go and say hello to you family and I would literally be the only child in the school left, I only remember 1 sports day my mum made it and I was so happy and when the see your family bit happened, I rushed off happy for once I wondered about confused and she had clearly left so I then went back to my place, upset but I learnt a poker face early on and I was still happy she had been there I just wanted her for the full thing.
Last week I did the same to my children, they merely moaned at me for leaving early, it happens to lots of children, they understand that every 1/2 day I take is less in the holiday's.

The school they are at in the infants I used a lot more 1/2 days, 2 school assemblies, nativity, Easter bonnet parade and sports day, juniors, 2 school assemblies and sports day, (I have twins so could have made it easy on myself with having them in the same class so only 1 assembly) and before Dh worked away in the week he had a job which was easier to leave from so covered a lot, I missed out the bonnet parade and he flmed it for me, just as I did sports day this year for him.

Also I have just realised that the onus of my story is "Mum" my Dad was about and worked for my Grandad, Mum was a Nurse, he could have come much more easily but didn't.

One lovely thing now is Dads, Stepdads, uncles Big brothers and Grandads are very much in evidence.

Original poster
gallifrey · 02/07/2013 11:13

We don't have any family locally and my dh works and can't come, so it's me or nobody!

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 02/07/2013 11:21

The "no siblings" thing annoys me more than the daytime thing tbh - only a very few full-time sahms don't have babies and toddlers at home in our area, as they typically take on part-time work once the youngest starts school or pre-school.

I mean, I get that small children can be a royal pain in the collective arse if they make noise or run about during performances.

On Thursday pfb has Sports Day. Fortunately it coincides with DC2's preschool session so I can go and give him my full attention. But that's luck.

Salmotrutta · 02/07/2013 11:25

Yes, of course they should hold lots of stuff in the evenings, or maybe even at weekends?

The teachers live on site after all and have no life. They'd probably be grateful to have something to fill up their lonely leisure time. Hmm

YouTheCat · 02/07/2013 11:28

There are just too many things to attend.

When I was at primary (a very long time ago), there was sports day and parents' evening and one school performance a year. That was it.

Now it's read with your child, termly sports events, many many assemblies more than 4 performances a year, do this do that - join the PTA and so many school fairs.

I think there comes a time when you say 'no'.

CloudsAndTrees · 02/07/2013 11:32

The no siblings thing can be difficult to manage, but it's come about as a result of selfish parents that won't remove their toddler when they make a noise or cause a distraction.

We need to blame other parents for that, not schools.

The schools are just trying to make the experience as worry free and as enjoyable as they can for the children who are actually their students, and it is really sad when one persons toddler spoils things for a whole class full of children and their parents.

Salmotrutta · 02/07/2013 11:33

I agree YouTheCat - when my DC were at primary there was the church service at Christmas, sports day and maybe an occasional play once in a blue moon. None of this in and out of school all the time.

soverylucky · 02/07/2013 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trinitybleu · 02/07/2013 11:56

My DD school has managed to schedule ...

Monday - class assembly (9.30)
Tuesday - sports day (9.30 til midday)
Wednesday - celebration evening (from 3 til 5, that's the afternoon ffs)
Thursday - meet new teachers (9am and 2.30pm slots)

No way can we go to all that in 1 week and if I were a SAHM I'd still be pissed off. School starts at 8.50 so no point going home before 9.30 stuff, but ages to be hanging around for Angry Angry Angry

Littlespeckledowl · 02/07/2013 11:59

Schools put on all these extra things to enrich the learning experience of the children. If you can make it to some of them, brilliant. If not, don't go and explain to your children why not. They'll cope. It's ridiculous to criticise schools for catering to the best interests of children rather than parents and for doing more than they used to in the good old days. No one expects you to turn up for everything. I'm a teacher. My holidays are brilliant but when my children start school I'll probably miss all these things as I have no flexibility for taking time off in term time. They'll have to get used to it. My mum was a teacher and it was the same when I was a child. She wasn't there, but I don't feel scarred by her absence! Really key things are almost always in the evening anyway, Parents Evening etc. but in Primary we teach children from 4 upwards and it's really not possible or appropriate to have loads of evening events. And we'd probably get just as much moaning if we did...

Eyesunderarock · 02/07/2013 12:06

'I know they can't have them any other time but do they have to have so many of them!'

I think the idea is that you select which things to attend.
No, there doesn't need to be so many of them, and it would be a lot less fuss and bother all round if there weren't.
I wonder whose idea it was to start having parents infesting schools at all times of the day and early evening? Grin
What's wrong with a nativity play, sports day and parents' evenings full stop?

Have stuff in the day, working parents complain.
Have things in the evening, parents complain.
Weekends? over half won't show.

Eyesunderarock · 02/07/2013 12:08

As a teacher, when I missed an event in school, we had a special tea at home with their favourite food. I told them that I worked and so I could afford buns for them. (Shades of the Railway Children)
They understood, even when small. Occasionally a grandparent would step in, but mostly not.

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