Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you where to bury/hide the body

52 replies

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 01/07/2013 19:55

Since I'm not going to LTB, I have cryogenically frozen DH until a cure for annoy-the-wife-itus is found. In the meantime where can I bury/hide him that won't raise suspicions?

Tia

OP posts:
ICantRememberWhatSheSaid · 01/07/2013 21:11

How about in a cemetery right under their noses and all that...

McNewPants2013 · 01/07/2013 21:12

sending him busking as a living statue, may as well make some money while he is frozen

Binkyridesagain · 01/07/2013 21:15

Wouldn't he begin to defrost if left in the open? It would make a right mess if he dripped all over the carpet.

ChasingDogs · 01/07/2013 21:19

I was going to suggest the obvious "feed to pigs and muck spread the results over several acres" or "drop in a slurry pit". That might be a little permanent though if you're planning on defrosting him.

Are you sure you want to save him for later?

marriedinwhiteagain · 01/07/2013 21:21

Cupboard under the stairs.

FayeKorgasm · 01/07/2013 21:23

Mine's going in our septic tankGrin

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 01/07/2013 21:33

Just donate him. There are lots of single women out there who'd be glad of the chance/still have the enegy to train him up.

If he's too atrocious to inflict on others, freeze him in a sitting position and LTB on a bus.

Original poster
FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 01/07/2013 23:17

letsfaceit if it was possible to train him I'd have managed in already.

Hmm graveyard is an idea.

Cupboard under the stairs... Aka the garage.. Not enough room with all the crap he still hasn't cleaned out from there.

OP posts:
quoteunquote · 01/07/2013 23:44

Inside one of these babies

Then you can put him where ever you want.

Original poster
FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 01/07/2013 23:46

Wow quote. What are they; giant jelly babies? And where so I find one?

OP posts:
MortifiedAdams · 01/07/2013 23:46

Six feet under a dead dog. Police dogs will pick up a scent, a dead dog will be dug up and no one will think to look deeper. Mwah ha ha.

«scares self»

lookoveryourshouldernow · 01/07/2013 23:55

... the way things are going you will only need just a little DNA from him - steal it while he is not looking and recycle the rest !!!

Your biggest problem will be to work out whether he is vegetable, mineral or animal - so you can recycle him appropriately - around here the recycling operatives are a little sniffy about putting stuff in the wrong bins...

You could always make him into a diamond though after capturing the DNA - that's if you get fed up of dusting the corpse.

..but by then they may even have mastered the art of doctoring DNA to remove any annoying traits.... and you can then just specify those attributes that you need/want ...

amazingmumof6 · 02/07/2013 00:00

w

amazingmumof6 · 02/07/2013 00:02

?

amazingmumof6 · 02/07/2013 00:02

wherever - but the key is to hide it in plain sight.

Needtostopbuyingcrap · 02/07/2013 00:10

Use him as a washing line prop, a door stop etc... The list is endless.

timidviper · 02/07/2013 00:14

Buy a suit of armour, pop him in it, stand him in the hallway and pretend you live in a stately home

quoteunquote · 02/07/2013 11:34

I do actually know the guy who made them for the artist.

amazingmumof6 · 03/07/2013 01:05

can you shape him then throw a blanket over him and use him as a chair or table etc.

if you freeze him while he is horny you can use him as a lawn game, throwing little hoops onto his manwood.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 03/07/2013 01:16

I have the perfect spot for when dp finally tips me over the edge. There's a copse of trees near us with two really deep ponds. No one ever goes there so even if he floated up the chances of him being found are miniscule.

Not that I've thought about this a lot or anything

AudrinaAdare · 03/07/2013 01:19

I think you either need to eat all the evidence (pets can help) or unfreeze him and have him fall off a bridge. Hiding bodies is very tricky.

AudrinaAdare · 03/07/2013 01:25

"I have the perfect spot for when dp finally tips me over the edge" Grin

SummerRain that sounds wonderful. If I win the lottery I will be looking for just such a feature when house-hunting.

badbride · 03/07/2013 06:41

In the House of Lords, preferably amont the Lords Spiritual. He'll fit right in Grin

badbride · 03/07/2013 06:41

among. Sorry

FanjoPaterson · 03/07/2013 06:56

All I'd do is buckle him into the passenger seat of the car, drive out into the middle of the Northern Territory, travel off the road for a good twenty kilometres, open the door and

However, if we're going for retrievable, I'd take him to the museum, dress him in an appropriate period costume and place him in one of the glass cabinets.
After, of course, shaving his beard and cutting his ponytail into the appropriate styles.