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AIBU?

To think that the older retired generation have it too cushy ...

287 replies

suebfg · 30/06/2013 21:52

Nice holidays, large houses now worth £££, good pensions etc. (I know I am generalising her)e.

And the young/middle aged people can't rely on an inheritance as the elderly people may have to sell their homes to pay for care. Yet the elderly people did get an inheritance and are enjoying it on their holiday spending sprees.

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Greydog · 30/06/2013 22:35

YABU - and nasty. I took early retirement last year. For all the forty years I worked I paid a huge chunk of my wages into a pension plan. I have only ever been abroad twice - and then on a short break to France! i live in a terrace house. I am not on the bread line, but i don't live the life of Riley. I resent the remarks made by another poster about sucking out the values of the property market. If anyone is to blame for the predicament we are in now as a society its succesive governments who have done nothing except make life easy for their cronies. I am sorry to rant, but such an ignorant, stupid remark makes me cross (bet you couldn't guess that!)

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havingamadmoment · 30/06/2013 22:36

Oh I have no inheritance as my dad seems intent on giving it away to as many wives as possible before he dies Grin.

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suebfg · 30/06/2013 22:36

Sorry, where did I say this is my sense of entitlement? I think they should help out their struggling offspring, not me.

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rockybalboa · 30/06/2013 22:36

My parents live in a huge house, have been away for the weekend with their friends in their fancy sports cars and have also been to look at a £250k holiday home. Both pretty much retired and live the life they want to live. I don't begrudge them anything about that at all, they've worked hard for many years, raised their kids, built up to what they've got and probably didn't have as much as I do now when they were my age. Yes, their existence might be 'cushy' compared to my own right now but they're a generation ahead and they've bloody earned it. I couldn't care less if they spend 'my' inheritance, it's their money!

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scottishmummy · 30/06/2013 22:39

Yes,that's the sense of entitlement.you think pil compelled to financially help
If your pil want to holiday,and spend cash in preference to saving up for family thats up to them
Your pil don't need to help out,nor do they need to moderate their spending

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specialsubject · 30/06/2013 22:40

My parents have all the things that you mention. They WORKED bloody hard for them.

YABU.

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frogwatcher42 · 30/06/2013 22:40

YABU imo. I accept that the following is a massive generalisation but I spend a lot of time with many 60+ year olds and this is what I think:

If you actually talk to a lot of the retired people they had it sooooo hard in their younger years. There was very little help or benefit and they had to work hard or go hungry. We have it so much easier now.

No, we cant afford a house as easily as they could if they were in ok jobs, but some of that is because our expectations are so much higher for day to day living imo and our money goes on things they would never have spent it on. They didnt expect new items of furniture, takeaways or holidays. Food took a massive proportion of their income and life was basic and simple.

Life was tough for them - I know many 70 year olds who wore cardboard in their shoes as the soles wore out. And got hand me down trousers which gradually turned to shorts to be worn day in and day out even in winter until the next hand me downs came. Many didn't have transport (couldnt even afford a bike) and would walk miles to school or shops.

When I see children suffering what they suffered then I will agree with you.

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yamsareyammy · 30/06/2013 22:41

You say you struggle to understand why they dont.
But all people are different. And it is their choice at the end of the day.
Some people do nice behaviour, some people dont, and a lot are somewhere in between.
Perhaps they think that your bil or whoever is a bit frivilous?
Or would use it to fund a secret gambling habit. Or who knows? You could ask them I guess?

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suebfg · 30/06/2013 22:41

It is a mentality I don't understand.

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ReallyTired · 30/06/2013 22:42

There is a huge gap between the richest baby boomers and the poorest baby boomers. The majority of retired people live in povety with little hope of inheritance or increasing their income.

There are some very wealthy pensioners who frankly aren't taking their fair share of the financial pain. It is ridicoulous that all pensioners get the winter fuel allowance, free bus passes and TV licences.

However we have life far easier than our children. Our children have to pay huge university tutition fees and there is increasingly more intense competition for jobs. Increased immigration will increase the cost of housing further. It is likely the NHS will collapse in the next few years.

I expect that peopel will be shocked when we tell them that we bought a 3 bed terraced house for only 250K.

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FamiliesShareGerms · 30/06/2013 22:43

YANBEntirelyU - the thought of being able to retire in our 50s having paid off our mortage and a job pretty much for life is a pipe dream to all but the most privileged 20-40yo now. I really really think that there is a growing chasm between generations, which cannot be healthy for our country in the long term

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FunnysInLaJardin · 30/06/2013 22:43

TBF the OP is total bollocks and so why we all react, I will never know.

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Purple2012 · 30/06/2013 22:43

Yabu. My grandmother is relatively well off. Her dad lost
His leg in WW1, he then died when she was 12. She married but didn't have a happy marriage. She had 4 children and lived hand to mouth. She was in the army during WW2. She lived through bombings and hardship.

After 60 years of a hard life she was able to get her old age pension and a work pension. She doesn't own the house she lives in as my grandad owned it and left it to his children. She didn't have any rights as his wife when they bought it so wasn't a joint owner.

And to top it all off her eldest son died a few years ago.

So, no I don't begrudge her money and that she is reasonably well off. She has had years of struggling and I am pleased she is comfortable in her old age.

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yamsareyammy · 30/06/2013 22:44

Older people seemed to walk or bike for miles and miles.And had repetitive, bland meals. And a lot more problems in childbirth and other serious health issues. I could go on...

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suebfg · 30/06/2013 22:44

I think you're spot on ReallyTired. Things will only get worse for young people and for the middle aged. Interest rates will start to rise soon and that will push some over the edge.

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PasswordProtected · 30/06/2013 22:44

My parents aee 82 and 83. They were professionals, brought up 3 children. I am delighted that they can take holidays abroad, AND still want to, as and when they feel like it.
It makes me quite sad when my father talks about the work they have done on our family home as "preserving your inheritance". Why? Because they have enabled me, through education, to earn my own living.
They payed into the pot, as it was whilst they were in employment. Why should they now be disadvantaged?
For what it is worth, my father make a HUGE joke about the extra quid my mother got when she turned 80 - he is the younger of the two.
I was incensed at the "insult" of the system.
Let us be realistic, the demography is for an older population. They are mostly the ones, who have worked and paid the required contributions to underpin their old age. Why knock that?

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LunaticFringe · 30/06/2013 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yamsareyammy · 30/06/2013 22:45

I think this thread is going to run and run, even if the op "gets" it midthread or not!

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schooldidi · 30/06/2013 22:45

YABU - I think dp and I are in a better position than either set of parents were at our age.

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suebfg · 30/06/2013 22:46

Wow, can't believe how rude some people can be!

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yamsareyammy · 30/06/2013 22:47

Yes, suebfg, but what has that got to do with the older generation. They have paid their dues in one way or another. And even if they havent, what has that got to do with us?

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AKissIsNotAContract · 30/06/2013 22:47

Lots of them lived through world war 2.
I dont envy them one bit


They didn't. The definition of baby boomer is those born in the post war period from 1945-1960.

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Purple2012 · 30/06/2013 22:47

Oh, and my parents are fairly comfortable now. We were poor when I was growing up. I remember my mum crying because she had a pound less than she thought in her purse.

Now, they have a decent amount of money, they give usgifts of money fairly regularly. They have nice holidays. I would rather they spend their money on themselves and not worry about us but they are too generous. I don't begrudge them their holidays either.

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yamsareyammy · 30/06/2013 22:48

You have posted in AIBU, and on a sunday night. fatal!

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frogwatcher42 · 30/06/2013 22:48

In fact this makes me really angry and the op must be ignorant.

Has he/she any idea of what life was like for the majority of the elderly. There was obviously the lucky ones in good jobs and a good life. But for the rest life was bloody hard. Really hard, harder than we will ever see as we have a great benefit system to pick us up and make life easier.

They had so little compared to us - if they have comfort now, surely that is a good thing.

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