To think that the older retired generation have it too cushy ...

[suebfg]

Nice holidays, large houses now worth £££, good pensions etc. (I know I am generalising her)e.

And the young/middle aged people can't rely on an inheritance as the elderly people may have to sell their homes to pay for care. Yet the elderly people did get an inheritance and are enjoying it on their holiday spending sprees.

Well it's not an overly implicated thread,there no complicated moral tussle to explore
Op is greedy and graspy to expect her pil leave an inheritance
And she's in a huff. Hence the vipers,and yawn,and get a life

Yes I do think they should but I don't feel I know them well enough to raise it - they aren't my parents.

No they do not have it too cushy. We don't have it cushy enough.

Why not wish for better for those worse off instead of for those who are doing ok to be brought down to not good enough?

Of course, If the OP had come on and said how difficult life would be for the under 30s, nobody would have batted an eyelid.

I think that pensioners are seen to be protected by the current government (Guaranteed Pension Credit gives an income of £130 a week up, while jobseekers is only £71, no bedroom tax, free public transport etc) while working age people are not protected.

No way would I want my mothers life, or my grandmothers, although both of them have been rich in their retirements. Some things are worth more than money.

Ah ok. Trouble is you've made some generalisations that have prevented a sensible debate and also not been able to address your worries.

It must be very difficult for you to watch this happening. Do the pils know exactly what is happening?

How fortuitous for your pil,that they're not subjected to your moralising about inheritance
Does your husband share your low opinion of his parents?

I did say in my post that I was generalising but then we all generalise based upon our personal experiences don't we? In their social circles, their friends are all the same.

Yes, of course, they know what is happening and I think it is particularly hard for the other sibiling who is really struggling. I think the other sibling is resentful and doesn't get much help from said parents as they are always socialisng/holidaying etc.

No, my grandparents generation were badly affected by WW2. They lost many cousins and friends. My paternal grandfather had ongoing serious mental health issues related to his service in SE Asia and as part of the occupation forces in Japan. My parents generation? They had to deal with the fallout from that during their childhoods. Their houses are worth more now but it still cost them a lot of their salary back then to buy. They were also affected by war, with many of thrir friends being forcefully conscripted to go to Vietnam ( in Australia). My dad said the conscription missed him by a day either side (it was like a bad luck lottery where they would call for all military age males born on a certain day). My dad did seem to retire a bit too early though.

Why don't you help these people out yourself OP if you care about them so much? Why assume the responsibility lies with the elderly?

We do help out where we can but we both work, we don't live nearby and we have young children of our own.

I think you forget that whilst some elderly people now live in nice homes that they've owned for years, they spent years getting those homes up to the standard you see today. They are likely to have grown up with no central heating, no bathroom, no washing machine and no car. Things that younger generations today see as necessities were luxuries to them.

I'm in my 50s and grew up in a house where only the living rooms were heated ever, the plumbing was basic and the toilet outside. I admire the older generations who coped with hardships which would be unthinkable now. My parents spent their lives in houses without basic "necessities".

Some pensioners now have things that younger generations won't have, such as a good pension, but I think on the whole they deserve it. Some people in their 20s and 30s think it's a hardship if they can't park outside their house and have to walk for 2 minutes or if the washing machine is out of order for a day.

The elderly are not the issue. The great economic shift is centred around the age group that are 57 - 68.

Fine, dish out all the personal insults you want. Funny how people can be so brave with their insults ...

Oh, and since DH and I have worked our socks off, we'll spend our money how we see fit. Hope that's OK with you OP?

My parents are "elderly" and had very little spare money in the early years when we were growing up. But when times got better they finally managed to be in a position to have "treats".

I didn't grudge them that - and still don't.

I'm happier to be raising babies today with appliences like washing machines and tumble driers to make my life easier than having to hand wash, boil nappies and dry indoors/ outdoors like my grandma-mum had to.
She's in a decent position now, but life wasn't always easy to get there. Her opportunities for education and work were restricted. House prices were more favourable compared to incomes- but interest rates were in double figures. Her house is fairly useless to her as an asset- unless she moves on, it is more likely to end up funding for care or as inheritance. She didn't inherit much from her mother.

Other people of her age group are in better circumstances, others much worse off.

I think corporate and personal greed has more to answer for than blaming one age group.

"Funny how people can be so brave with their insults ..."
Yes sue, you are. You really don't see how massively insulting your OP is, do you?

YABVU. The older generation are LUCKY that things turned out well for the, there's no need for hatred.

My folks worked so SO hard and they are enjoying a modestly happy life now.

YANBU to think that 'us lot' have a much harder time of it, it's harder to buy a house that will increase in value as house prices are sky high, it's harder to save, it's tough.

I don't resent my parents on bit.

THEY have what we all should have after a life of hard work. The injustice is that we probably won't be able to.

And our kids are screwed...

No point blaming our elders. We need to change. We meaning society. There was so much wrong with my parent's era (sexism, racism, struggles) but one thing that's turned out well is the ethos of work hard, and you can be rewarded.

Work hard now, and you just get screwed more. If you're an average person.

My FIL bought his house for £5k. It's on the market for £200k. 40 years later of course, you expect inflation, but outgoings are up, wages aren't up enough to compete, it's all a bit depressing.

But I don't resent my parents at all, they deserve the rewards of their hard work, and I've told them to spend every bloody penny because they made a lot of sacrifices for us kids over the years.

I can't see me being able to leave my children anything but good memories.... and actually, that's okay.

The times, they are a changing (again). We need to adjust.

For the record.

My FIL (78) is paying for his care, had no inheritance, worked fucking hard all his life to pay off his house and now that is paying for his care... fair enough actually.

My Mum and Dad worked hard, made money on their home, lost everything in the 80's crash, started over (with 3 teenage and expensive children) and because they're canny with money (they didn't pass this gene on to me) sorted themselves out alright, they're not on endless holidays, they're still working, they're well past pension age, they donate their WFA cash to the RNLI (their choice) but they can live comfortable due to luck, being smart, and modest retirement ambition.

op You're blaming the wrong people.

Let's not forget mobile phones, internet, technology of all sorts, gym membership, constant clothes buying, stuff for babies, special buggies, bedrooms, ballet, extra curricular blah blah.

Stuff the elderly never had nor needed. Because they went out and shopped and toiled ever day on a budget. Long may they live to enjoy every penny they've saved.

Life seems warped from your point of view Sue

Clearly your overwhelming feeling at the moment is anger. I'm sorry you feel like that - but it's not always helpful to criticise a general group because of a particular experience.

If the pils helped out financially, would it solve the problem?

The problem with "helping out financially" is that it's a quick fix - unless parents have unlimited funds its not really a long term solution to an offspring's problems.

I get where you are coming from op to an extent. I have retired relatives who have recently bought a larger, far nicer home (they live alone). They go on 2-3 holidays per year too.

But the flip side is that it took them till they were in their 60's to do this, wheras our generation have a far easier life earlier on - of course I am also making a huge generalisation as there are so many people living in horrific poverty but I think that even put description and definition of poverty has changed so much since our elderly relatives were younger. Poverty today is not the same as it was then. We would be horrified if children had no shoes or had barely eaten for days. We would also be horrified at the amount of labour young children were expected to so within families. (Of course this still happens - I suppose my point is that we no longer see this as the norm)

YABU

I'm retired, worked hard all my life despite being disabled, have a miniscule pension and haven't had a holiday in ten years. I do own my home but it's a 2 bedroom maisonette, not a large house.

Also did not receive an inheritance as my parents sold their house to move into sheltered accommodation.

Of course there are some people who have all you mentioned but the majority do not.

How sad to be so jealous of others. Get over yourself.

Yanbu