To think that the older retired generation have it too cushy ...

[suebfg]

Nice holidays, large houses now worth £££, good pensions etc. (I know I am generalising her)e.

And the young/middle aged people can't rely on an inheritance as the elderly people may have to sell their homes to pay for care. Yet the elderly people did get an inheritance and are enjoying it on their holiday spending sprees.

[Ledkr]

We will never have that cushy retirement period as we wil both be working till nearly 70.
I'm in my forties now and still helping out my grown up kids from time to time as jobs are scarce and low paid and they have no chance of ever buying their own homes so have all the pitfalls of renting such as having to move on or bei g ripped off deposits etc.
One of mine is also poorly so may end up back here.
We have public sector pensions which shrink each year and the average age for death in our professions may mean we will never enjoy it.
For those reasons I also live for today and intend to enjoy my life as much as possible with the money I earn.

[Guerrillacrochet]

Sue I don't normally angrily post on AIBU but you surely must have realised that putting such a topic on was going to get you flamed?
A better question would have been 'AIBU to be annoyed at DH's parents spending their inheritance on themselves rather than supporting their family'.
I totally agree with Didactylos, whereyouleftit and the other posters... the older generation have worked, been through multiple recessions and frankly deserve any assets they still hold on to. But cushy? Do kindly fuck right off. We can have this conversation when elderly people aren't freezing to death in winter, or having to fight tooth and nail to have any kind of dignified care. There are more pensioners like this than those planning four cruises per year, I promise you.
The elderly, the disabled, the unemployed... what kind of fucked up country are we living it where these are acceptable targets for our ire? Seriously?
PS I did mean to be so rude.

[Guerrillacrochet]

Oops just seen the second page with more excellent posts . My indignation made me post without reading to the end !

[ConferencePear]

If pensioners are so rich why do we have one of the highest, if not the highest rate of deaths from hypothermia in Europe ? Is it to do with that generous winter fuel allowance ?

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

don't forget that when houses were £14000 wages were relative to that too. people lived within their means same as today but attitudes seemed different, my parents taught me never to get in debt, if I could not afford something to save until I could, loans and HP were not an option. today everyone wants the newest model and they want it now, they want big weddings, and a lifestyle they often cannot afford. wages are lower now too relatively so YABU I don't begrudge anyone who has earned their way to spend it however they want to and will encourage my DC to earn their way too as I was encouraged. if there is anything left over when I am gone ... well it will be a nice little bonus. if they struggle I will help out where I can but they won't be able to rely on this as I also will fund my own life too. harsh? maybe, they will cope.

[curryeater]

There is a massive psychological difference between being young, having nothing, and working hard with something to look forward to; and being young, having less than nothing, and working hard with nothing to look forward to.

And I don't agree about hardship, in many ways. When I had measles in about 1978 (? thereabouts) the GP paid a home visit and was expected to. My brother was a newborn in the 70s and the MW came every day, sat and chatted. My mum had 3 or 4 days in hospital after a perfectly normal delivery and was well looked after and rested when she came home - she was expected to stay in so she could be brought meals and stay in bed resting.

Most of my friends at school had dads in blue collar jobs, mums who WOH very part time if at all, and owned 3 bed houses, and the whole family had dinner together at 6pm and had all weekend for hobbies and pastimes. We are just so strung out now. Lives like that are beyond our grasp. A smart phone just does not make up for it. Our labour does not buy us as much as it used to. My partner and I WOH between us a minimum of a 110 hour week (in good jobs) for the same standard of living I saw families with one blue collar worker having in the 70s on a 45 hour week. And we will not retire at 60 / 65. And I still suffer from pregnancy complications now my youngest is over 2, because I can't get medical attention (have tried, have been brushed off, can't find the time and energy to fight, although I know I should, but I am ALWAYS working)

And it is far far worse for those 20 years younger than me. I started work nearly 20 years ago as the most junior in a team of people. Since then I have been gradually promoted to the level of the person who in 1994 was about 5 people above me. (Different companies, equivalent teams) In that time, almost NO duties have been taken away from me. I do what I did in 1994, along with everything else at every intermediate rung. And I am on my own. When I feel like moaning about this, I remind myself that at least I have a job - the 22 year old equivalent to me back then, has nowhere to start, because one man bands like my "dept" can't hire. I would rather be me now, working, than a 22 year old in 2013.

I think we have an anachronistic cultural tendency to think the young have it easy, and the older are seasoned strivers, because it used to be true. It used to be true that anyone who was 60 or 70 had probably fought in a war, borne children at a time when many people died of it, worked down mines, survived when some of their siblings had died of childhood diseases, worked hard to get an education in their spare time when the state chucked you out of school at 14, etc etc etc. Baby boomers did none of this. Their parents fought the second world war, they were sent to university for free, they experienced incredible effortless growth of wealth if they bought property, and now they are retiring early.

As a society we need to recognise the difficulties that the young face.

[boschy]

curryeater I totally applaud that post, you are so right. I am so glad that mine are still at school, not having to face the economy yet.

[aftereight]

Curryeater has nailed it for me. Excellent post.

[Salbertina]

Absolutely, Curryeater

Step, that's the problem - when houses cost £14k, they were proportionately hugely more affordable on the average salary! All the data on average salary and average house price proves this over a period of at least the last 30 years. Not a matter of opinion! Just in 15 years in London from my own personal example, i bought at 3x my salary and would now be unable to buy a garden shed in that area as same flat would now be 9x my 2013 equivalent salary, crazy! Sadly, i didn't keep the flat, but that's another story.

As above, regional difference a huge factor too. Much more affordable housing outside London/SE. I think gov should consider much much higher London weighting for public sector workers such as nurses, teachers.

[Guerrillacrochet]

Good post curryeater and I don't disagree with your comments... I don't think the young have it easy but I don't think all babyboomers have it cushy either, which was the OP (and she was referencing a lack of inheritance, which is the least of the problems of the young tbh). It is a shame that the discussion becomes so reductive- just because young people have a hard time doesn't mean it isn't bad for a lot of older people. It's pretty shit for a lot of people at the moment.

[givemeaboost]

whilst I have no problem with the older generation having things easier(as some not all do) what I disagree with is A) overs 60s being excempt from the new bedroom&council tax rules and B) well off elderly getting things like the winter fuel allowance, it should be means tested.

In regards to A people will and are playing the system, someone I know has split with his wife(they had 6 kids, most left home now) she has been moved to a 2 bed house with youngest child, whilst hes rattling around in a highly sought after big three bed house in the centre of town, the HA cant do anything as hes 70 now so excempt from bedroom tax so wont have to pay anything to continue living there, now that makes me livid!!!

I live in a area with a higher than average elderly population and was basically told (re;council tax) that we are effectively subsidising them as they don't have to pay, but the council still has a budget to meet, why is it I have to now pay a sum every month(currently on benefits) which I can barely afford whilst everyone on my road doesn't have to pay anything it is not fair!

[IvanaCake]

YANBU at all. My parents both retired a few years ago on final salary pensions. They have 4 foreign holidays a year and never have to worry about money. If they did need to raise some cash they are sitting in a house worth 300k.

Retirement for DH and I will be nothing like this. We are early 30s and don't even have pensions (can't afford to pay into them).

[Viviennemary]

I think houses were a lot more affordable in the 1980's than they are now. And it was a lot easier to move to a better house then. Now the gap is so huge between the house you are in and a better house it's just not possible to bridge unless you move to a cheaper area. I think house prices are mainly to blame for people finding it hard when they earn a reasonable amount.

[digerd]

Ivana

Do your parents have UK pensions and if so, which jobs get final salary pensions?

[frogspoon]

I think you're generalising, some older people really struggle. However almost everyone my age (mid 20s) is struggling, except those who are helped out by their parents.

House prices have gone up astronomically, way out of proportion with increase in salary.

I do the same job as my mum (teacher). My parents' first house (3 bed semi, outer London) cost the equivalent of about 3 years of my mum's salary 30 years ago.

To buy a an equivalent sized house in the same area would cost me about 10 years salary.

I accept that my parents have every right to enjoy their hard earned cash, they have both worked hard and deserve to spend it. But I do feel they genuinely did have it easier when they were my age.

[Buddy80]

Curryeater spot on!

[LessMissAbs]

I think its a shane that we now live in a country where, even if you are an intelligent high achiever who does well at school and university and succeeds in getting quite a good job, whether or not you that hard work buys you a nice house and lifestyle depends more on how much money your parents will give you to help.

It used to be that if you worked hard and were clever, it guaranteed a nice lifestyle. That is no longer the case.

That's pretty poor social mobility for a first world country.

I also find it ironic that the people who decided students must borrow to fund their tertiary education were those who not only got it free themselves but would also have got maintenance grants if they had needed.

[Kat101]

Its the non-understanding of the difficulties faced by the current younger generations that can be a problem. My ILs recently gave BIL a large deposit to get on the housing ladder, they "couldnt understand why he hadn't bought a house" and it "just wasnt the way they did it". Even when explained to them, they still didnt get it. This house will be far too small when BIL has kids, but ILs persuaded him that the house will rise in value short term and he can sell it on and make a profit to buy his next much bigger house. This is in an area of high unemployment and low static house prices.

Good luck to them, I think they're gonna need it

[boschy]

we live in a house that is really too big for us and in which we have a reasonable amount of equity. however for various reasons it would be hard to sell (tho it is lovely).

we are now thinking that actually we need to hang on here, because we would have enough space for both DDs to stay here/move back in if they need to post school/uni/apprenticeships/whatever. and if they needed to come back with boyfriend/babies then it could be manageable.

this is not what I want to happen, I want them to forge their own paths and for DH and I to be able to enjoy life on our own terms.

however, I dont think the economic climate will be in their favour for a good few years.

[Salbertina]

Less- interesting point about social mobility...

Indeed, successive govs esp Labour gradually eroded the very grammar school system which had given many ministers a leg up in the first place. Hypocritical and blinkered thinking at its worst!

I believe social mobility is less now than in the 1970s

[Biscuitsareme]

great post, curryeater.

My parents were both teachers. They are now retired and have good pensions and nice houses. They fail to understand why OH and I 'don't take the kids on holiday' and are anxious about our (patchy) pension savings. They just assume that in a couple of years we'll be able to move into a bigger house and 'arrive'. It's frustrating.

[curryeater]

I think the portrayal of the 70s as a dismal, doomy time is a deliberate strategy to glorify the Right who took over in the 80s. The unions had worked hard to gain some security and some comfort for the working classes and taking it away had to be justified. Actually the 70s was a great time to be a child. It was in the 80s (in the NW) where you started to really see, and suffer the effects of, real poverty. (In my case suffer vicariously: we did not get poor but we lived amongst broken windows, boarded up parades of shops, high crime, crappy school facilities, etc etc). It was not uncommon in the "loadsamoney" decade, where I am from, to see children without shoes. And yet this was the "solution" to the "problem" of the 70s. It is pure Orwellian doublespeak. the "wrong" people had money. Only a tiny bit - only enough for a house and a caravan holiday - but it had to be taken away.

[oldwomaninashoe]

YABVU!!!
I am in my early 60's and even if I work till I am 65 my occupational pension together with my state pension will not cover my basic living expenses and pay my mortgage!
I will have to sell my home to live, moving area away from family and friends to get something considerably cheaper. The adult children that I still have living at home are on such meagre wages they will never be able to afford to buy and will only be able to rent with the help of benefits.
I don't have/cant afford foreign holidays now , like many youngsters do, and I certainly wont be able to afford them when I'm on my (public sector) pension.
I have worked all my life since I left school ai 18, commuting at my age and with age related health issues is increasingly difficult.
Sorry OP I deserve to retire, but I can assure you I won't be living in the lap of luxury!

[JemimaMuddledUp]

I think the OP is making a huge generalisation, however there are some pensioners who have it very easy.

My inlaws were civil servants and took early retirement on very nice pensions. Shortly afterwards FIL's mother died and left them everything. They are now in their 70s and still living the life of Riley, taking their winter fuel allowance as spending money on their January cruise

OTOH I know a lot of elderly people who are struggling to make ends meet on pension credit and who would never leave the house if it wasn't for their free bus passes. So I realise that not everyone is like my inlaws.

[Latara]

My parents are 64 & 65 but they are divorced and therefore both have to carry on working despite health problems - to pay for accommodation and the bills.