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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to tell a shop where to go!

86 replies

Dawndonna · 29/06/2013 20:22

Friend of a friend takes a dress into the changing rooms.
Assistant says to friend that there is no point in her trying on said dress as you had to be slim and confident to wear it, and the person trying on the dress was not.
WTAF! How dare she! Not the sort of place for those with low self esteem.

OP posts:
ProperStumped · 29/06/2013 23:33

That wasn't at you Brian

sarah0000001 · 29/06/2013 23:39

why are you being funny cos someone has emailed them?dont name an shame as it can hav consequences,tho if this is true then the manager has a right to know how the staff behave an hopefully that member of staff can have a lesson in customer service!!!the poor friend.

PeazlyPops · 29/06/2013 23:41

OP, if it could land you in trouble, you shouldn't have listed on a public site. It's only fair that we hear both sides of the story.

PeazlyPops · 29/06/2013 23:41

Posted, not listed!

RinseAndRepeat · 29/06/2013 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lazyjaney · 29/06/2013 23:47

An anonymous "friend" and an attack on a named business on MN where they have no comeback.

mummydarkling · 29/06/2013 23:55

Yes that was why, the named business aspect. If true they need to address customer service if untrue just rebut. Surely as long as the owner doesn't know your MN and RL identity you are safe-ish. Also it was the fact that it wasn't a chain but a mom and pop concern as evidenced by dodgy website. We all have troubles enough but also a sense of justice. Just posted a link...no comments as such. This is a public forum they could have seen this anyhow.

TidyDancer · 29/06/2013 23:56

Quite right OP. the poster who took it upon herself to contact the company was wrong.

And in answer to your original question, yanbu.

TidyDancer · 29/06/2013 23:58

It wasn't a random's right to contact the company. The OP was asking if she should contact. I suspect she would've done. But to just do it and then tell the OP? Not right IMO.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 29/06/2013 23:58

OP I am with you. Just because you post something on the web it doesn't mean other people should go ahead and fight your battles for you without asking (this is happening on another thread too - the one about the SIL giving the DD a walnut whip when she had a peanut allergy - only there, posters have taken it upon themselves to talk to the police). Note to self: never ask for advice on mumsnet unless you want people inserting themselves into your business.

ProperStumped · 29/06/2013 23:58

Then don't post the name of the company on a public forum.

WorraLiberty · 30/06/2013 00:03

I'm on the fence really regarding the email to the shop

On the one hand, I'm sure the OP is thinking WTF??

But on the other hand, I don't see how it can get her in trouble if she doesn't work there?

If the friend of a friend is telling the truth then the manager needs to know. If the friend of a friend isn't telling the truth, then I'm sure the manager would still like to know.

Either way, it's damaging to the store.

But I can understand why the OP might feel uncomfortable and regret naming the store.

Lazyjaney · 30/06/2013 00:03

I agree the shop needs to be told about this thread, it could just be vindictive bollocks, or a slagging by a competitor - who knows?

But too many people will read and believe without question, and the shop has no redress.

SoftlySoftly · 30/06/2013 00:06

I think it's fair, the other poster wasn't making a complaint she was giving an independent company the right to reply on what could be a damaging thread.

Don't name and shame unless you are willing to back it up is the lesson

mummydarkling · 30/06/2013 00:14

Yes not complaining on anyone's behalf. Must go and reread rules etc I still really love AIBU though.

Original poster
Dawndonna · 30/06/2013 10:35

Lazy You know damn well I've been here a good while and am not someone who's come on to 'slag a competitor'.
Mummy It still would have been both appropriate and good mannered to contact me first. You know nothing of my cirmcumstances, ergo, you would have no idea how I would react. As it is, I did worry half the night. You are pretty ill mannered, you were damned quick to get your justification up here, but had I been in your shoes, my apology would have gone up first. Hmm

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 30/06/2013 10:42

DawnDonna - I think it perfectly justified to email the store as you are suggesting through a friend of a friend on a PUBLIC forum that their customer service is shit & could well make me think twice about shopping there. If you had told me a s a friend I would think differently. And how are you to know that 99 % of the posters reading this haven't done similar?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/06/2013 10:43

Why name the shop on a public forum then?

Original poster
Dawndonna · 30/06/2013 10:53

I have asked for this to be deleted. It was up to me and said friend to contact the shop. Which in fact she had done. But for those of you who don't know me, I have a disabled dh and three disabled children. I have enough on my plate without having to worry about other stuff too. I enjoy a good debate on AIBU but not when it encroaches onto my home life. I have quite literally been sick with worry about this. It may be that I don't need to worry, it may be that I'm stressed anyway, but the fact is, this particular thread has had an impact on my wellbeing that I can't afford for it to have. So it will go in a bit.
Thank you for all your replies.

OP posts:
Greenkit · 30/06/2013 11:07

I went into a 'larger womens' store and bought a pair of size 18 jeans, I joked with the assistant that soon I would be back for the size 16s as I was trying to lose weight, she replied 'I doubt it' Blush

WorraLiberty · 30/06/2013 11:21

Unless you know the owner of the shop, I don't get what you're worried about OP?

Honestly, try not to tie yourself up in knots about it.

WorraLiberty · 30/06/2013 11:22

OMG Greenkit Shock

jacks365 · 30/06/2013 11:26

I think its appalling to name and shame then not expect the shop to have the right to respond which is all that happened. Your attitude to them being notified of the thread is extreme which makes me quedtion just how involved in this you are.

OnTheNingNangNong · 30/06/2013 11:26

Why has it had an impact on your well being, when you're nothing to do with the story you've told us?

WorraLiberty · 30/06/2013 11:35

This has nothing to do with the thread but Greenkit just reminded me of it.

I went to the market last week and there was a poorly handwritten sign on a stall, saying 'Clothes for the lager ladies' Grin

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