To have a drink on a Saturday night?

[fber]

We very, very rarely go out. I'm gregarious, he's not. I accept this (after all I married him, and I do love him.

All around us are couples with kids (ours are 5 & 4) who are enjoying an active social life and sometimes they get babysitters or the kids stay with grandparents. We NEVER do this (never).

I didn't even get a honeymoon - holidays are weekends at his families holiday chalet- the kids love it but me, I am bored to tears of it :( (am I ungrateful?)

He comes home just now (works 6 days a week so out all day saturday, another pisser, not his fault admittedly but his work is a damn sight easier than looking after two kids!) and has a go at me for having opened a bottle of wine and had half a bottle :( He doesn't drink (well very rarely and not much)

I now feel guilty for having the wine, even though I'm fine, and in control. He's made me feel like an alky! I suppose it is a bit sad though, drinking alone.

My question is, AIBU to have the wine? In my defence, at the end of a hard Saturday with the kids I'm just so stressed, and with no prospect of socialising I'm just so bored :(

AIBU?

You are definitely not BU! Enjoy your wine

What Whonicked said.

It is not sad to drink alone.

I prefer it to going out.

If you're not doing it every night, he IBU.

You need a talk, you're allowing yourself to be stifled, it won't end well if it carries on. You love your DH, but that's not enough, you need him to understand you need more and reach an agreement. OR you will find comfort in wine alone more than is healthy!!

Best of luck.

Yanbu!

Where are you? I'll babysit.

You wanted a small drink on a Saturday omg the world will end!

Tell him to bugger off.

Ugh he sounds like a dreadful bore. You are entitled to a social lore, with or without him. And there is nothing wrong with a weekly drink at home on your own, don't let him dare to shame you into changing your behaviour. Who does he think he is? He's acting like your controlling dad.

YANBU at all, he sounds awful. Show him this thread

If he doesn't want to go out, leave him with the kids and go out with friends?

And there is nothing wrong with a glass or two of wine of an evening.

As asked previously, do you want to spend the rest of your life like this,?. Your children are still small and you need some other company in your life or else you'll end up resenting your partner if you aren't already.

Drinking at home alone is fine as long as you have it under control and aren't opening the second bottle!.

He does sound rather dull, stuffy and hard work, sorry OP.

Is he usually like this about other things, or just this one thing?

If he is not a drinker, that is a bit unusual, and there is probably a reason for it. (Nothing wrong with being a non drinker, i hasten to add!) Maybe he doesn't drink because of health reasons, but maybe he has good reason to be concerned about your drinking?

Or maybe he has personal experience of living with an alcoholic, and is worried for himself and the children. (I'm not saying you are an alcoholic, BTW, just that he might have a fear that this will be "the thin end of the wedge".)

What you did on this one occasion doesn't sound like a problem, but we can't tell from the OP if it is part of something bigger.

A bit of introspection on both sides wouldn't hurt.

Oh, and talk to him about the holidays and socialising.

It's not all about what he wants. In an equal marriage, you should get to do what you want, as well, sometimes. You signed up to a husband, not a particularly controlling father!

Just because your DP doesn't want to go out shouldn't mean that you can't go out either. You want a social life, he doesn't, why should what he wants trump what you want? Can you get a baby sitter and go out with friends. Your post sounds desperately sad. Btw 2 glasses of wine on a Sat night is NBU at all but you know this already. I agree with the poster upthread, it sounds like your OH is sucking the life out of you

The same here. I love a glass of wine but DH will only drink the 4 or so times a year we go out out as he does not like the effect having one or two has on him. Not even a drink at Xmas! Does sometimes make me wonder if I can take a lifetime of it.

He doesn't want to go out? Awesome, you just saved paying a babysitter! Arrange a night out with your friends, live a little. Hell, I'll go to the pub with you!

A few drinks of an evening is perfectly normal. Enjoy them!