Daughter lying, worried...

[JeeanieYuss]

Ok, seems all I do is call upon MN when I'm having a crisis!

Basically in brief as I have to go out soon, have a 10 year old dd, shes been through alot with me, d.v and I had issues with drugs when she was younger.

Acts way to old for her age and has started puberty, needs deo, bra, getting spots etc etc.

Anyway, still thought she was half innocent and childlike but a cpl of weeks ago (shes banned from comp e3tc for lying and being sneaky) trying to log onto a fb account and twitter, I stupidly assumed she wasn't up to anything dodgy (thought she was just being a bit sneaky n pushing her luck).

Fast forward to today, have accessed her Twitter account (that I had no idea existed) and she has been talking to men saying she's 15/17, liking porn pages?, basically doing anything a 10 year old shouldn't be doing.

I am devastated, she's always been mature for her age, guess she had to be because of some of the stuff we have been through, but we are from a respectable family, my sis is a Social Worker, always had good influences around her.

I just thought she was hitting the pre teen years with a bang with her attitude etc, but she is swearing on their , talking to some man about boners.

My first thought was groomers but she has no pic of her up (some other poor girls pic!) and she has lied about her age so technically they wouldn't think she is ten.

What do I do?

Counsellor, school? I feel sick and can't even look at her I'm so embaressed. I was abused when I was younger but have always tried to be open with her about sex etc and thought we had a good relationship but this has blown me out of the water : (

Help ...

Scrap that, I'll have the internet chat but SHE won't be using it again unless supervised for homework etc!!

You said shes been through alot with you, d.v and you had issues with drugs when she was younger. Has she had any help with this as I think this will have affected her. Counsellor?

Has she defiantly been 'liking porn pages' twitter and Facebook use a lot of adverts and also all of those types of site are as they call it public. Open for everyone to see. I'm 21 and have had Facebook for a while but through my newsfeed which is where you see everything lots of things come up because friends of friends like them... Perhaps that's what you saw?
Facebook is really uncontrolled that way and is still probably better your daughter doesn't use this but most kids do now. This last few months have seen Facebook flooded with awful videos which anyone can see you don't need to like them I clicked one the other day thinking it was a funny video and it's was 2 people having anal sex in a car!!! it shocks me so if your dd came across it god knows what she would think. Various other videos animal and child abuse are constantly on there too.

Speak to social services. The local authority will have a sexually inappropriate/harmful behaviour team they can refer her to. Who will then work with her to give her the support she needs to develop a healthier attitude.
Social services won't judge. You sound like a caring mum and you've obviously overcome a lot of challenges to give your kids the best start. Help is available for her, please seek it before someone sees it and exploits her.

I agree with Lilac and Changey OP. It's of no use hiding your head in the sand and you definitely need to seek counselling for your DD and potentially yourself. MAybe you can get family counseling? Your doctor should be able to help you get an appointment.

Where have I buried my head in the sand? I'm just explaining that at her age her and her friends are more like young teenagers than children, a fact confirmed by her class school teacher in a meeting about sex ed the other day.. The stuff children talk about at school compared to what I did at primary school is totally different.
I also didn't start puberty till 12 or 13 whereas she started puberty when she had just turned 9!

I have already stated that I am going to chat to the school, I'd like to know how I am playing this down.

I have however calmed down and investigated more since original op and am still very concerned about lies and sneakiness but am not sure on the porn links on twitter.

This does NOT mean I won't be dealing with that aspect as believe it or not I asked on here because I care about my daughter and want to do what's best for her.

As also said my sister who is a Social Worker (quite high up I may add) is back from holiday tommorow so I shall speak to her and decide if anything else needs to be done apart from school.

I'm sure if school think it's necessary then then they can refer us to someone at s.s, I have no issue with that at all. I have a great relationship with her teacher so prefer to do it that way.

That's something I have often thought about Lilac and definately think it could be beneficial for us to jointly see someone and maybe her on her own if needed. I guess I just assumed that everything was okay, but have often wondered how well she has processsed everything : (

Gonna Of course it looks like I am just saying this now but I did put in prev post that her account was hacked and sending out spam mail so whether porn is something to do with that I don't know : /

That could be wishful thinking...

Thanks again for input : )

I see you last posted at midnight. Hope or got a good nights sleep, and things go well for you today.