Unhelpful help

[Wandastartup]

We are hosting a dinner party for the PTA tonight- 6 couples for each course. DH took children swimming this morning and bought bits I had forgotten- all good so far.
I started cooking, cleaned, polished, hoovered.
After lunch 'D' H decides to wash down all the walls as they've not been done since we moved in 12 months ago. I now need to hoover everywhere again, finish the cooking and supervise children's homework while he mows the lawn( also essential apparently).
He is also sulking as there are not enough men coming and he only agreed in order to meet other dads apparently...
He never normally does any housework but decides to do the most inconvenient lest useful thing every time we have people coming over. Grr rant over!

Thank you all, I am glad not to be alone! Dinner went really well and I did point put the clean walls to everyone! There would have been no point in suggesting other useful jobs as once he has a fixation that's it there's no deviating!

Thank you all for sharing. I am no longer feeling alone. I asked DH to clean the kitchen before friends came for the weekend whilst i did the bathroom. It's not a job he's incapable of. The problem is the opposite. He's so bloody thorough he started by dismantling the cat flap from the back door and taking apart the light fitting for a complete top to bottom clean. Cue friends at the door and the work surfaces still covered in toast crumbs and washing up not put in the dishwasher. The cat flap was sparkly though.

DH used to do stuff like this, but smaller and more frequent. Stupid little things like deciding the best moment to empty and reload the dishwasher in our tiny kitchen, is right when I'm trying to serve up a roast dinner. I would put my foot down and tell him if he wanted to help he could do x, y or z, and come back to doing whatever super important task had grabbed his attention. Then I used to nag remind him to get that task done too, while I sat down. He doesn't anymore thankfully.

Stealthpolar - If you'd have said ex-H re alphabeticising CD collection, I'd have thought you were my friend! Your DH is not alone!

Hombird am pmsl at the sparkly cat flap while toast crumbs all over the wirk surface. That is the exactly it! Did your friends come in through the catflap? If so your dh is justified

No but he does have a cousin who is just lkke him

This is why I write a list! The we don't have to argue over it. My DH doesn't go off to do other jobs but likes to do the exact same job I'm doing.... It generally doesn't take two of us to clean a sink but the company is nice

StealthPolarBear the friends didn't have much contact with the cat flap to be fair. In guest free times our own toddlers used to try to leave home using it, or treat it as an outdoor cupboard door for their snacks, or a posting hole for their socks. DH wasn't bothered about mud and fur and rabbit entrails all over it then.

I can't complain. At least he does things properly and it keeps me entertained if slightly incredulous and busy

Totally sympathise! DH goes to loo for no. 2 every time food is on table or all of us are finally in car waiting to go somewhere... Currently 10 days to due date and he has started building project that alternately shuts off electricity/ water and rendered him incapable of lending any assistance in the house as he is too busy digging holes...

Something very similar happened here today. We have a huge garden and a house in which every room par two needs redecorating. DP did mow the huge lawn. Fair dos. However, he then decided to begin work on repairing the very old, very unessential summer house. It is now without a back wall and likely to remain so for sometime.

DH does this too and it drives me bananas. Example: last year when we were expecting DC2 we needed to turn the study into the baby's room. This turned into a huge rigmarole that, in his demented logical thinking, necessitated the following tasks happening first:

• Redecorating his mother's house
• Redecorating and replacing the furniture in our bedroom
• Reflooring the master bedroom, baby's room, hall, dining room and kitchen
• Installing new cabinets in the sitting room
• Clearing out the garage
• Boarding the loft

At 37 weeks pg with no room ready for the baby I lost my rag, threw the biggest tantrum ever and threatened to throw him out unless the baby's room was decorated that very day. It still makes me feel the rage when I think about it.

I still smile to myself though when I think about a couple I know who were expecting their first baby. When my friend woke up her husband in the middle of the night saying they needed to get to hospital he panicked a lot slightly and kept her waiting while he ironed outfits for both of them and gelled his hair :o

If we had a cat I'm sure he would have felt the need to clean it too! Other useful tasks include mould and mildew removing the shower in our ensuite any time we have visitors( who won't go in or ensuite) and need feeding, beds making up etc!

At 1am on the morning of my wedding, my dad decided he would replace the letter box on his front door (I was staying there overnight). Being more important than writing his speech as father of the bride, an' all...

He also got quite cross with me earlier in the evening when he asked where I wanted 'my picture' to go and I was genuinely uncomprehending. Turns out he meant my graduation photo which had been sitting around in my old bedroom for, ooh, about 10 years and he now felt should be hung properly on a wall.

And no, there were not going to be any wedding guests visiting their house! (Let alone any that would notice the age of a letter box or a missing photo)

What is it about holes in the exterior of the building Vicky? Catflaps in our case, letter boxes in yours...

It's threads like this that make me glad I have been single for the last 16 years... Are men really this crap?

YY, me too, cardibach! Not 16 years yet, but heading that way fast. I will definitely not be encumbering myself with non-essential-job-doing, time-wasting, mess-making, unhelpful blokes! They can be as luffly as you like - just bring 'em round for supper, be entertaining, then take them away again before they can do any damage!