To judge these parents, even while trying to make excuses for them

[Justforlaughs]

My DD was in hospital last week. On her ward was a young boy, age 3. He was brought onto the ward at 2 o'clock by 3 nurses. He spoke no English. No sign of his parents. All day, no sign of any family. All night, no sign of anyone. He sobbed on and off all night, "Mama, mama, mama". I kept getting up and rubbing his back and he would go back to sleep for a while before starting again. He cried all morning, still "Mama, mama", we left at 12 o'clock, still no sign of any parents. Nurses were waiting for them, they had (apparently) gone out for a meal the night before and promised to come in early in the morning. Nurses ringing them, still hadn't left home by 11. He was gorgeous. He tried to climb into MY arms, but I was not allowed to pick him up - understandable rules, not blaming nurses at all. They had to pick up the pieces, reorder their rotas etc, so someone was with him exclusively. Poor little mite! I've tried to justify this by thinking "everyone needs a break at times", "maybe they hadn't been out for ages" etc. I have no idea how long he had been in hospital for, but I cannot imagine any situation, where there were two parents in a family, that would mean leaving a child of that age, distressed like that, without keeping the hospital informed. AIBU?

There was a 9 month old boy who had been in hospital since birth who didnt have a visitor for a week when I was in with DS.. When his parents did come in (with two sets of GP's in tow) the nurse did get a bit stern with the mother and say she needed to come and stay for at least an overnight with her DS. They didnt live far away and he was the only one, (not much privacy sometimes on a crowded childrens ward). Everyone felt sorry for him as the nurses did spend a lot if time with him, but not the same as having a parent there

Got stern with the mother but not the dad?

I will also add ( had forgotten ) my ds had a spell in the children's ward after a blue lip in the middle of the night incident. I wasn't allowed to leave him while he was there . Even to go to the loo!

YANBU I had a similar experience with a baby when my DS was in hospital for an operation and its heartbreaking to see.
Even worse in our case as I know the parents were saying in accommodation at the hospital (as were we)

After spending 2 weeks on the children's ward with DD I will not judge any parent who's not in hospital with their children.

While she was there we had several children who came in and were unattended for some or all of the time. One (incidentally a 3 year old boy) comes into mind. He seemed to spend large periods of the day on his own. One night I overheard his dad saying how awful they felt leaving him, but he (the dad) was a self employed taxi driver - if he didn't work, the family had no money. (and the child had a condition that meant he was often in hospital). Meanwhile mum was at home with a baby and another child - they had no extended family to help and there was only so much goodwill they could call in from friends. It sounded as though they were all close to the end of their tethers

Sometimes it's not all as it seems. Someone I know has several children, all very close together age wise. the family didn't know until she was pregnant with the youngest that the eldest had a certain genetic condition.. Not to worry the parents were reassured when asked about the younger ones. Alas all the children have this same condition. the children are in and out of the hospital a lot. The children at home need round the clock care. They cannot spend lots of time in the hospital with the child that is in there. At times they cannot go, because one of the children, or even themselves are ill which would be worse for the child in hospital.

You said that the child doesn't speak English. Then chances are his parents don't speak English either. Broken English, without an interpreter and things get muddled.

Aw, let the Op have a bit of a judge if she likes. She's the one who's had a horrible night listening to a little boy cry and not being able to do anything about it, and it was nice of her to try and help him. I think she has a right to feel a little bit sad. I wouldn't be in the best mood after a night like that either and would no doubt be harbouring some dark thoughts about the parents too (though of course wouldn't say them out loud). I'm not as saintly as some of you .

More to it than meets the eye. Who brought the child to the hospital if his parents were out? You overheard the nurses saying the parents were out at dinner which if true was unprofessional of them. Sounds to me that this is a social services issue and the nursing staff were trying to keep that confidential.

Hope you and your dd are OK OP. Please concentrate on your daughter and not someone else's child for whom you don't know the back story.

Now when my dd was in hospital a girl was brought in by her mum and three blokes and they were all a bit tipsy and they all went back to their party. I know that because I heard the full unexpurgated version from their own mouths. Partying, dd fell off bed and broke arm; brought her in and mum went back with the three blokes because her dad couldn't look after dd2 on his own. But you know what perhaps she didn't trust her dad and perhaps she didn't trust the three blokes round her other daughter either. They were a bit rough though.

marriedinwhiteagain I was also about to say it was very unprofessional of the nurses to have been discussing whether the parents were out having a meal within hearing of other patients, how do you know they had to reorder their rotas?

You also don't know 100% there are 2 parents in the family, you've made a lot of assumptions and I don't think it's fair to judge

married in whiteagain I know that they reordered the rotas because my DD's nurse came in and introduced herself. An hour later, the nurse we had been allocated the day before and had already told us wouldn't be her nurse that day, came in and apologised that they had had to change the plans so "our" nurse could give her undivided attention to this little boy until his parents arrived. I heard the nurses talking about parents being out for a meal at handover late at night, when the ward was quiet and lights were off. I was just lying awake as it was only 10.00!!
Next morning, I was getting some drawing items from the playroom from DD and little boy was in there with a nurse, who was explaining to nurse 2 that she couldn't leave little boy as parents still hadn't shown up although they were expected several hours earlier. She had just rung them and they still hadn't left home.

SoulSister father wasn't there at that moment and to be honest I didnt really give it a thought that it was the mother that was 'told off'. She wasn't taken to one side or anything (in private) and we could all hear but desperately trying not too IYSWIM.

Being a lone parent with other dc cant be helped.

Having a night out and not coming asap next day is real shitty.

What others have said. You don't know the full story.

It's hard not to judge but as others have said, there could be many reasons behind this.

I spent a week in with my son, I was lucky that I had family to look after my other two. But after a few days I had to go home, I left at 11pm once he was settled, went home, had a bath and lay on my bed, I woke up at 7am feeling terrible and went straight back, he was just waking up as I got there, I needed to get out of the hospital environment just for a few hours. [he was 12, not a tiny baby, but was in a lot of pain and clingy]

I can only imagine how much harder a longer stay would have been.

I do remember when I was little and in hospital, a little boy of about 2 who had one visit from his Mum the whole time I was in there [10 days] that was very sad. I used to read to him. No idea what was going on with his Mum/Dad.